Twitter

Gotta love twitter.

Nothing riles me up like twitter does.

Gotta love twitter.

It is a never-ending dark hole of hate. It is magnetic. Within minutes I have grabbed onto threads and tumbled down the rabbit hole.  My heart begins to pound. My breath deepens. My pupils dilate. Adrenaline flows. I feel the hate rising in me. All due to the trigger I felt reading 15 words written by an idiot.

Gotta love twitter.

I can lose 20 minutes of my life on a thread. But not just by reading. Sometimes I fully engage. I pound out a heated reply. I start to write my own competing thread. I start searching for that article I read two days ago that contradicts everything that has been said. And it will prove them all to be idiots.

Gotta love twitter.

Somewhere deep within the black hole of my response I can see my plan of attack. My main point rises to the top. Then I pause and adjust my syntax to formulate the most cutting, sarcastic barb. I begin to sweat, and my typing becomes louder. My rage intensifies. I count characters to choose words that maximize my effect.

Gotta love twitter.

In those moments of ferocity, I gather focus. I ask myself, what is my most effective point?

And in that moment of pause, my higher self whispers “What are you doing?”

Gotta LOVE twitter.

Because of twitter I see myself as lost in a trap. The trap of social media using my need for information and connection to create valuable engagement and morphing it into profitable discord. The trap twitter sets so well, fanning the spark of disagreement and building a raging fire of lucrative hatred.

Because of twitter I can see the trap of my ego. My hubris. My fear. My isolation. My confusion. Turning them all into the voluntary surrender of my humanity.

I love twitter.

It shows me my weaknesses, my vulnerabilities, and my false sense of inferiority.

And when I see those flaws in my thinking and touch that lonely pain in my heart, I can see the fear that drives the whole of the twitter-verse. I get the chance to recognize all this as my need. My need for things to be better. For me to be better. My need for someone to click that heart button and confirm to me that my view is the righteous one and we are superior ones. Confirm to me that I am situated on the moral high ground. And if only everyone would listen to me we could climb out of this chaos.

Yes, I love twitter.

Yes, I love twitter.

It reveals to me all this and more. I can connect to my own yearning for peace and calm and connection to others. I want more than to be on the righteous side of wordy idealistic disputes. I want to experience us as connected. And finally, I see all my harsh words and raging thought is dividing us.

Yes, I love twitter.

For in those moments just before the trap sets, I can pause and see those same needs and desires hidden in the words of those others. I see that same yearning in the heart of that idiot, that person, that being of light. I see there those same motives in their tweet. The same pain and fear.

Only then do I remember it is the peace in my heart that will lead to peace in the world. Not my silly angry words.

Thank you twitter.