Speaking of movies...
I just watched a movie recommended to me by one of the power students - Shaun.
Unthinkable
It is upsetting and disturbing and all too real for comfort...
and exactly like any real power dynamic.
I will leave it for you to watch the movie but I will place a little suggestion in your mind before you watch it. That way you will see the two lessons in the movie.
There are always two sides to every power dynamic - always. It is the bi-polar nature of power. Every actor is a subject and every subject can be an actor if they are willing.
And...
The power dynamic will always go to the one who feels their need the least.
In other words the real determinate of a power dynamic is the perception of how bad you require, desire or are attached to, the need in play.
That's why we see needs as weaknesses and we are unwilling to share our deep desires or fears. That way the other person won't know how much power they really have.
Good movie - thanks Shaun:)
1 comment:
"The power dynamic will always go to the one who feels their need the least."
I disagree here Les. Although I think that this is the common belief and very true in daily practice BUT I think there's another way to look at it.
As long as a person is well aware of their own needs but also grounded in the knowledge that they are the only one who can facilitate their fulfilment, what is there for others to use against them? They can feel that need as keenly or as guardedly as they want; the key is knowing that no one can find a better way to give you what you want than you can.
You have to truly know yourself, your limits and your capabilities and be fully aware that the only thing you control in life is your own thoughts, feelings and actions (and sometimes not even those *lol*).
Sad that we as a society are taught to recognize emotion and desires as a weakness to be taken advantage of, however I think the strongest people I know are those that are just that; open and vulnerable but well aware that the only person who has power over their life is themself. It's a simple concept, but not at all easy...that's when others will most underestimate you, when you appear weak to them but they truly have no concept of the depth of your strength.
It's always said that people don't take your power, you give it away. But I don't think you do that by outting your deepest needs/desires and showing your emotion. I believe you do it the second you let someone convince you that they can exact any sort of change on your life, good or bad.
Perhaps it's because I've only had one coffee today or because I'm mired in exactly these dynamics right now that I'm going to side with the Principle of Detachment on this one. You're only at a disadvantage if you believe you are...
As for me, my heart is firmly fastened to my sleeve, needs and desires at your figertips if you just ask...but I know that what may appear to be a weakness is actually my greatest strength...
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