Rules of Engagement

 

I want to offer some ideas into the cyberscape.

I seek not to change minds. I really don’t care if you agree or disagree. Agreement is not really a worthwhile goal in my opinion. It only takes a little examination of history, or even your present surroundings, to show that there has been a lot of agreement that has led us astray. Agreement has been used to justify all manner of hurtful things. For centuries we agreed that women were not equal to men. And those who spoke otherwise were crazy, seditious, and spreading misinformation. They needed to be censored or better yet, jailed. 

For the whole of the history of humanity we seem to agree that the right response to anything new is fear.

Agreement is not a goal for discourse. Agreement provides no progress. Agreement does not move us forward. In fact, agreement results in the immediate cessation of progress. Agreement closes our minds to new ideas. It brings a false sense of security. It brings us to the conclusion of a process that should never end. Agreement should never be the goal. I believe all discourse, regardless of its perceived expertise, can and will shed light through constant questioning.

Answers do not create growth. Questions do.

Disagreement engenders consideration, inquiry, discussion and exploration. All of those endeavors create awareness and knowledge – which is the only true answer to fear. That is a good goal of open free speech – the never-ending release from fear.

My point is a simple one - Neither agreement nor disagreement should ever be a reason to hate.

I am shaken that good people are advocating harm to other good people because they have come to different conclusions about a situation. I care that people are formulating opinions based on select facts and then judging others as less than human because they disagree.

Maybe it is my age or my advanced ability to say and do dumb things, but I have reached the point where I question my own ideas. I am sure that I should not be so sure. I am aware of the limits of what I know, and I am witness to the outcome of weaponizing my own ignorance.

Today I try to measure my ideas not only on evidence and logic, but on how they align with my humanity.

Do my ideas advocate for attack on others? Then no matter the facts, I am wrong. Do my ideas promote interaction, communication, compassion and life? Then even when not totally accurate or completely irrefutable, they are pointed in the right direction.

The only purpose in learning and questioning is to improve my life and the good of all. And I believe that the motivations of even the most outrageous advocate are based in decency and seek to promote the highest ideals of life as they see them.

Opinions are every where. Like belly buttons, everybody has one and most of them are funny looking.

I see opinions as logical conclusions from a limited set of facts at any given time. The puzzle of truth is always missing pieces. So, if my knowledge is never any thing but incomplete, then my opinions can be nothing but temporary. I need to be open for the next round of meaningful considerations brought to my attention.

I am not weakening or demeaning myself by being open minded and changing my opinion from time to time.

Temporary conclusions voiced as opinions are always based on an incomplete understanding. Learning never ends. If I am to ever be right, I must allow myself to adjust as the evidence accumulates. It is always accumulating. I am always learning. I don’t always like what I find out. I am upset by a discovery that makes me incorrect. But that does not matter in the quest to do the right thing.

Under these terms, it is clear to me that there is no opinion that can justify hatred.

I am comfortable listening to people I do not agree with. Even those whose ideas I consider illogical, uninformed, or irrational. I believe if I want to have the freedom to express myself, I must defend another's right to do so. Not because their words are harmless, but because to try to silence them is evil. A right is an absolute thing – or it is not a right but a privilege. We restrict privileges to those who comply with the imposed rules. There is nothing free about that.

To try to censor someone is to reduce a brother or sister to nothing more than an idea that is to be suppressed or silenced. They are so much more than that. They may be misinformed from my perspective, but I am smarter and stronger than that. I do not need to silence them.

I return to writing because I see the power dynamics and they cause me concern. I seek to create a pause in our thinking. To consider that people are more than their opinions and we must honor their humanity if we wish to have our humanity so honored.

You are not alone if the present state of discourse causes you to wonder what is right. You are not alone if this exchange of attacks causes you to fear for our future. You are not alone. The increasing volume of the discussion is evidence of the deep fear everyone is experiencing. For two years and more I have retreated into the safety of silence. My opinions on the politics of it all are constantly changing. What is not changing is my fear for our society. I am as unsure of the correct path as anyone should be. The facts as they emerge are contradictory and “experts” seek to overwhelm my reason and substitute their opinions for my own.

When I read media, both traditional and social, I am shocked by the perversion of journalism from factual information to hyperbolic postulation with no interest in informing public opinion only in enflaming public outcry.

There are many opinions about social media. The only thing everyone agrees is that it is highly profitable.

Let’s willingly identify our opinions without thinking those opinions define who we are. When possible, let’s share, in a rational and helpful way, the best evidence we can find. Let’s acknowledge the limits of our knowledge at any given time. Finally, lets embrace the idea that opinions are meant to be temporary things. We collect information as best we can. We apply that information to our version of logic, and we form a conclusion. That conclusion needs to be temporary because the information base is always growing.

Please be aware that the artificial intelligence of your news feed is giving you more of the same and less of the competing information. You may need to actively find the information that could contradict your temporary opinion. This could cause you to be less angry and recognize the fear and concern behind the shrill cries of those you disagree with. We are all afraid. When a child is fearful you do not criticize their fear and condemn them to isolation. You do not attack them, label them and dismiss them.

Be aware that all the noise you are listening to is about the control, influence, and seduction of your choice. Your choices are being shaped by forces outside yourself making you angry and fearful. Be aware of the emotions attached to your opinions.

You can get a human to do just about anything if you can make them afraid enough.

If we still need to find some agreement, let's agree that we are all afraid. We are all suffering. We are all seeking and learning. We are all equal and entitled to freedom and love.

Let's agree that hatred will not solve any problem.