I was always good at power when it came to the practice of law.
Within the context of negotiation and conflict, I was adept at isolating needs and finding abilities to get to those needs in a motivating and often, even conciliatory, way. I was able to see the whole picture so clearly. And of course my clients were happy to know I had that ability.
Having talents in power made me both money and reputation and it all seemed good.
I learned a lot about power from those situations. In those circumstances you can try different tactics and strategies and since the outcome was seldom personal in nature, I was able to overcome anger and other such emotions. Keeping a cool head, when dealing in power, is essential.
Yes the world of law, finance and business was a great place to be educated on power.
On the other hand, I learned a lot more about power from my personal life. The hardest lessons on power came from those I love and live with.
It makes sense. When you live in such a close proximity and with such integrated lives, you must expect that every decision and move impacts everyone around you. You should expect then, that those people around you are going to want to exercise some influence over those decisions and moves.
Implementing the method of need and mechanism analysis is so much harder when emotion is involved.
Anger generated by loving relationships is probably the most intense anger you will ever experience.
But in the occasional situation when I was able to see with compassion and collaboration rather than anger and competition, I could comprehend what was motivating the other’s use of power. In such cases I was able to learn a lot about power. And usually my choices resulted in greater happiness not greater animosity.
I wish I could say I was good at it. I can’t claim to be any better than anyone else. About the best I can say is that I see and understand better than most. But I don’t claim to overcome better than most.
Nothing is more of a power mechanism than love. Few mechanisms can be so intense and absolute. The results of power dynamics using love are usually extreme in their conclusion.
We have the capability to generate resistances to pain and threat; to bribe and seduction and attachment. Sometimes we can hold our own in the most terrifying of circumstances. We can cling to our intention to make a deliberate decision and we are successful in our non-compliance.
But love…now that mechanism is hard to resist.
Avoiding power is important because of its incredible ability to destroy trust. In a loving relationship it is especially important to avoid the use of power- intentional or not. The loss of trust in those cases can be fatal.
It is a good lesson to remember that when you see a loved one react to you in anger, it is because they are feeling subject your power. Whether you are trying to use it or not, it can be active. Whether you mean it or not, it is destroying the trust you hold for each other.
Remember that expecting someone you love to just submit to your requests is unrealistic. And if you are unwilling to collaborate or compromise you will find yourselves running down a road of constant power dynamics.
Love is a potent mechanism. Loving relationships are going to have power dynamics in them whether or not you want it.
Sometimes to love is to submit to power.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Freedom
The long weekends are always welcome in the summer months. The combination of winter’s imprisonment and work’s control makes a long weekend feel like freedom.
Holidays serve as a great break from power.
No work. No one to answer to. No coworkers messing with our heads. No bosses with their heel on the back of our neck. No arbitrary tasks undertaken solely for the benefit of a paycheque.
From the instant we awake we have lightness of being. With no commute to a workplace there is no feeling of control. We are momentarily carefree. The exploitation of our need for money has been halted. Our social conscience is given reprieve for 24 hours as we indulge our legal and moral right to a day away from work. We are not cheating. We are not breaking rules. In fact, finally there is a rule that works in our favor. We are the champions for a single day. We are free from the power of our employer.
While at work there is this constant drone of thought in our head telling us to keep going. Telling us to get it done. Telling us we need the money. Telling us that it does not matter if we like our job. We are lucky to have one. We are lucky that we have the ability to survive. We need the job, so we must work.
The voices in our head remind us of our weakness and our reliance on others.
Not everyone hates their job. I love mine. But not everyday. And not everything about it. And I still ask the question, “If I won the lottery tomorrow, is this the job I would choose?” I am so fortunate to say that my answer is always “Yes.”
Innate in us is the need to belong. The need for meaning and self actualization. Some of us are so lucky to have jobs that facilitate that meaning. Most of us however, do not have that kind of employment. Most of us do what we can or what we have to, not what we want. Our job does not fulfill our need for meaning or self esteem. If fulfills only our need for survival.
And that makes it feel so much more like power over us.
It is the most obvious, most constant form of power in our lives. But for our job, we could not survive and as such our need is exploited and we are subject to the control and influence of others.
Sometimes we have one of those “upwardly mobile” jobs. They are the most sublime forms of power. It is real power because it is not upwardly mobile for every one. It is competitive and only a very few of us will get to move up. But that carrot on a stick hangs there and we willingly, through the seduction of an opportunity to realize our dreams and wishes, submit to the wishes and whims of our boss and the organization.
But at the end of that stick is a shiny bauble. It is the chance at freedom. It is the ability to not be the one who is told what to do. It is the chance to be the one who does the telling. And in that rise of status comes some sense of freedom. Some hope of liberation from what we are.
We seek power to feel free. Power over others. Power to demand and command. Power to free ourselves of the daily mundane. Freedom from hunger - we have steak and caviar. Freedom from work - we have employees and domestics. Freedom from cares - we have all the conveniences. Freedom from the will of others - they will do what we say say.
Those who rise and attain the promise of more money, more holidays, more power, after some time, come to realize that it is not so.
There is no freedom in it.
We will forever be beasts who have needs. We will forever need the next meal. We will always need sleep. We will always be subject to illness, age, and fear. We will always be subject to climate and society. We will always be subject to the will of those who have given us what we sought. We will always be subject to the will of those we love. We will always be subjects to the things we desire. We will always be subject to our needs. It is the nature of what we are. There is no freedom from being human.
All the power in the world will not stop you from being human.
Being at work we are reminded that we are subject to the power of others because of our need for money.
But at least for one extra day in May we are free.
Holidays serve as a great break from power.
No work. No one to answer to. No coworkers messing with our heads. No bosses with their heel on the back of our neck. No arbitrary tasks undertaken solely for the benefit of a paycheque.
From the instant we awake we have lightness of being. With no commute to a workplace there is no feeling of control. We are momentarily carefree. The exploitation of our need for money has been halted. Our social conscience is given reprieve for 24 hours as we indulge our legal and moral right to a day away from work. We are not cheating. We are not breaking rules. In fact, finally there is a rule that works in our favor. We are the champions for a single day. We are free from the power of our employer.
While at work there is this constant drone of thought in our head telling us to keep going. Telling us to get it done. Telling us we need the money. Telling us that it does not matter if we like our job. We are lucky to have one. We are lucky that we have the ability to survive. We need the job, so we must work.
The voices in our head remind us of our weakness and our reliance on others.
Not everyone hates their job. I love mine. But not everyday. And not everything about it. And I still ask the question, “If I won the lottery tomorrow, is this the job I would choose?” I am so fortunate to say that my answer is always “Yes.”
Innate in us is the need to belong. The need for meaning and self actualization. Some of us are so lucky to have jobs that facilitate that meaning. Most of us however, do not have that kind of employment. Most of us do what we can or what we have to, not what we want. Our job does not fulfill our need for meaning or self esteem. If fulfills only our need for survival.
And that makes it feel so much more like power over us.
It is the most obvious, most constant form of power in our lives. But for our job, we could not survive and as such our need is exploited and we are subject to the control and influence of others.
Sometimes we have one of those “upwardly mobile” jobs. They are the most sublime forms of power. It is real power because it is not upwardly mobile for every one. It is competitive and only a very few of us will get to move up. But that carrot on a stick hangs there and we willingly, through the seduction of an opportunity to realize our dreams and wishes, submit to the wishes and whims of our boss and the organization.
But at the end of that stick is a shiny bauble. It is the chance at freedom. It is the ability to not be the one who is told what to do. It is the chance to be the one who does the telling. And in that rise of status comes some sense of freedom. Some hope of liberation from what we are.
We seek power to feel free. Power over others. Power to demand and command. Power to free ourselves of the daily mundane. Freedom from hunger - we have steak and caviar. Freedom from work - we have employees and domestics. Freedom from cares - we have all the conveniences. Freedom from the will of others - they will do what we say say.
Those who rise and attain the promise of more money, more holidays, more power, after some time, come to realize that it is not so.
There is no freedom in it.
We will forever be beasts who have needs. We will forever need the next meal. We will always need sleep. We will always be subject to illness, age, and fear. We will always be subject to climate and society. We will always be subject to the will of those who have given us what we sought. We will always be subject to the will of those we love. We will always be subjects to the things we desire. We will always be subject to our needs. It is the nature of what we are. There is no freedom from being human.
All the power in the world will not stop you from being human.
Being at work we are reminded that we are subject to the power of others because of our need for money.
But at least for one extra day in May we are free.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Detachment
It is essential when dealing with power to detach yourself from the situation.
Emotions always run hard in power dynamics.
Needs are emotion based things and a good power play exacerbates the effect of the need so as to create power from it. Which means it will exacerbate the emotional content of the need as well.
The first step in overcoming power is to detach from the circumstance so that the emotions are not the platform from which you make decisions.
Benjamin Franklin said - "That which begins in anger ends in shame."
Power will always evoke anger. Anger must be neutralized. To neutralize anger we must detach.
Detach. See the dynamic as needs and abilities. Re-take the ability to choose.
Nothing is as important as we think it is.
And we love our anger. It is invigorating. We see it as an entitlement. Just like the child in the grocery store, we think there is power in it. But there isn't really. The power is in need and our ability to overcome power is about our ability to overcome our own needs.
The only thing anger is good for is to warn us that we are in a power dynamic.
So feel it and give it up. Detach.
Focus on the needs and abilities.
Emotions always run hard in power dynamics.
Needs are emotion based things and a good power play exacerbates the effect of the need so as to create power from it. Which means it will exacerbate the emotional content of the need as well.
The first step in overcoming power is to detach from the circumstance so that the emotions are not the platform from which you make decisions.
Benjamin Franklin said - "That which begins in anger ends in shame."
Power will always evoke anger. Anger must be neutralized. To neutralize anger we must detach.
Detach. See the dynamic as needs and abilities. Re-take the ability to choose.
Nothing is as important as we think it is.
And we love our anger. It is invigorating. We see it as an entitlement. Just like the child in the grocery store, we think there is power in it. But there isn't really. The power is in need and our ability to overcome power is about our ability to overcome our own needs.
The only thing anger is good for is to warn us that we are in a power dynamic.
So feel it and give it up. Detach.
Focus on the needs and abilities.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Information
I was curious to listen to the news reports today after Newsweek reported that in Guantanamo Bay US military personnel "flushed a Qu'ran down the toilet" to intimidate detainees in the prison camp there.
Mostly because nobody seemed to ask whether or not it happened.
We know exactly how many sources the reporter had. We know how he dealt with his sources. We know that most of the other media are finger pointing and criticizing the report for failing to have sufficient corroborating sources.
Newsweek even retracted part of the story.
But not the whole story. And not the part about the event. Only the part that qualifies it as "according to a single source."
Information is the strongest Mechanism of Power there is.
Power comes from the Need of the subject. If there is no need there is no power. The power is only released by the ability of someone to offer help or hindrance to the fulfillment of the need of the subject. That ability is the Power Mechanism. It is the trigger of power. The Need is the Source of the Power. The power resides inside that need. But it takes a mechanism to bring it out. To make it real. To activate it.
In the Mechanism is the ability to create feelings of control, influence and seduction. These are the experiences of power.
When a young girl is told that a certain hair style is "totally yesterday, so five minutes ago" she is compelled by her need to belong and be appreciated to feel controlled to change her doo.
When she is told that one band is more cool than another she is influenced to listen to that music.
When she is told that if she attends a certain university she will have a better chance of successful career and a wealthy lifestyle, she is seduced into thinking that she must go there.
In each case, it is power. In each case she has need. In each case it is the information that triggers the power and impacts her choices. The information is the mechanism.
After all, that is the point. We want to have an impact on the choice she will make. That is the purpose of power. To effect choices. Sometimes control, sometimes influence, sometimes seduce.
Information is simply the mechanism in each of those circumstances. The power resides in her need to belong, be accepted, be cool, be successful, be happy. As long as she thinks that she needs the information to know what to choose she will be reliant on the information.
We are completely subject to the information that comes to us from journalism. We look to independent sources for unbiased information so we can make clear, rational and correct decisions about our world, our government and all other aspects of our lives. We cannot be a citizen of this tiny globe without the information we get from news media.
We are critical of the media for good reason. We are cautious. It has been shown time and again that media is biased. Even Ted Turner, media and news mogul extraordinare, has written for Ode Magazine stating that the world is in danger from the concentration of media into the hands of a few major corporations.
However the art of spin has gone beyond the concentration and control of information.
Somehow today the Whitehouse has successfully released "surveys" which suggest that citizens want news media controlled.
As a result of this report by Newsweek, our officials are suggesting that people have died around the world due to irresponsible way Newsweek released this information.
But again I ask - Is it true? Is the statement that US military desecrated the Qu'ran true?
After everything we saw in Abu Gharib, we know it is possible.
So stop avoiding the question by accusing Newsweek of being irresponsible. The administration has been irresponsible in the way it has governed its prison guards and interrogators. That has been proven beyond a doubt.
It is power to be able to control the information.
It is scary power to get people to agree to let government control the flow of information - which was the great lesson taught to us by the Soviet Union.
It is masterful, yet corrupt, power to control not just the answers to our questions but the questions being asked.
Mostly because nobody seemed to ask whether or not it happened.
We know exactly how many sources the reporter had. We know how he dealt with his sources. We know that most of the other media are finger pointing and criticizing the report for failing to have sufficient corroborating sources.
Newsweek even retracted part of the story.
But not the whole story. And not the part about the event. Only the part that qualifies it as "according to a single source."
Information is the strongest Mechanism of Power there is.
Power comes from the Need of the subject. If there is no need there is no power. The power is only released by the ability of someone to offer help or hindrance to the fulfillment of the need of the subject. That ability is the Power Mechanism. It is the trigger of power. The Need is the Source of the Power. The power resides inside that need. But it takes a mechanism to bring it out. To make it real. To activate it.
In the Mechanism is the ability to create feelings of control, influence and seduction. These are the experiences of power.
When a young girl is told that a certain hair style is "totally yesterday, so five minutes ago" she is compelled by her need to belong and be appreciated to feel controlled to change her doo.
When she is told that one band is more cool than another she is influenced to listen to that music.
When she is told that if she attends a certain university she will have a better chance of successful career and a wealthy lifestyle, she is seduced into thinking that she must go there.
In each case, it is power. In each case she has need. In each case it is the information that triggers the power and impacts her choices. The information is the mechanism.
After all, that is the point. We want to have an impact on the choice she will make. That is the purpose of power. To effect choices. Sometimes control, sometimes influence, sometimes seduce.
Information is simply the mechanism in each of those circumstances. The power resides in her need to belong, be accepted, be cool, be successful, be happy. As long as she thinks that she needs the information to know what to choose she will be reliant on the information.
We are completely subject to the information that comes to us from journalism. We look to independent sources for unbiased information so we can make clear, rational and correct decisions about our world, our government and all other aspects of our lives. We cannot be a citizen of this tiny globe without the information we get from news media.
We are critical of the media for good reason. We are cautious. It has been shown time and again that media is biased. Even Ted Turner, media and news mogul extraordinare, has written for Ode Magazine stating that the world is in danger from the concentration of media into the hands of a few major corporations.
However the art of spin has gone beyond the concentration and control of information.
Somehow today the Whitehouse has successfully released "surveys" which suggest that citizens want news media controlled.
As a result of this report by Newsweek, our officials are suggesting that people have died around the world due to irresponsible way Newsweek released this information.
But again I ask - Is it true? Is the statement that US military desecrated the Qu'ran true?
After everything we saw in Abu Gharib, we know it is possible.
So stop avoiding the question by accusing Newsweek of being irresponsible. The administration has been irresponsible in the way it has governed its prison guards and interrogators. That has been proven beyond a doubt.
It is power to be able to control the information.
It is scary power to get people to agree to let government control the flow of information - which was the great lesson taught to us by the Soviet Union.
It is masterful, yet corrupt, power to control not just the answers to our questions but the questions being asked.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Depowerment
When we understand that all the power against is the result of our own set of complicated and compounding needs, we open the door to see the truth of Depowerment.
There is great understanding in knowing the Source of Power. The insight into the process of power is instrumental to knowing and having power. Without seeing that the power you seek resides in the person you seek to influence, you can do little more than the monkey and the typewriter. Eventually you will do something that results in power but it can't be called intentional. When, however, you understand that the Source of Power is need, that it is thing you target to have power over someone, power becomes both possible and intentional. Great leaders know this stuff. The average person doesn't.
That is the first thing I want to share.
What would the world be like if everyone knew how to use power? If everyone had an equal ability to intentionally, deliberately, and effectively use power?
I think it will change the world. There will no longer be the "us" and "them." We will recognize how we are our own slave-creator and that they are just as likely - no, absolutely are, - subject to being our slaves as well. If we want them to be...
But there is a more important opportunity here. It will be the focus of the second book.
Knowing the Source of Power, that is locating it and becoming familiar with it, is what will allow us to address it within us. Not addressing it in others to use power. But addressing it in ourselves to stop their power. And addressing it is more important. It is certainly more effective.
This insight into ourselves is itself powerful. It is powerful however because of the opportunity it creates.
If we can control our needs, and the need based relationships we create, we are in a position to control our own susceptibility to power. We can stop the ability of others to use power over us.
Seeking power, taking power, using power, this is empowerment. The Empowerment craze of the 80' and 90's has done nothing for our society except make things worse. Yes there are some small benefits in the workplace as we give workers more control over their work. But that is entrepreneurship not power. We can still fire their butts if we want. There is no real power per se. That is just an enhanced authority (power by consent) to those who show keen interest in success.
Empowerment for women has not made relationships any better. Yes, through things like professor Wolfe's Fire with Fire, women may see that playing the games men play against the men may cause men to feel uneasy and out of control, and possibly generate in women feelings of greater control. But in the end it is not real power because it does not address the Source of Power. It uses the Source from time to time. But by accident, not by intention. More important though, it only proliferates power, it does not improve our situation.
If the only way we can get along as equals is in some prolonged mistrusting game of power, well, then what have we gained? If we still base our relationships in some balanced power dynamic, what kind of relationship is that? Moreover, it cannot end well. Eventually the scales will tip again. It does not matter in whose favor they tip. Because ultimately what we have are relationships operating as power dynamics. One side using the needs of the other to control them.
There can be no love in that. There can be no real intimacy in that. There can be no growth as humans in that. Society may shift but the game remains the same and we all lose.
Look where empowerment has lead our society. People try to control others more and more every day. Whether it is the pursuit of wealth, political office or celebrity and fame, the quest for power is about creating an in equality for some to enjoy a benefit over others. To be better. To have more. To see ourselves as somehow entitled to a better life than others. Our western society has come to live in a constant state of war and we are not even concerned about this.
This is where our empowerment understandings and our cultural love/hate relationship with power have lead us.
The great idea that comes from understanding the Source of power is not the gaining of power but the ability to avoid power.
Power destroys trust. Trust is necessary for relationships. Relationships are the only real external source of growth and happiness. The increase of power decreases happiness. The decrease of power will create a chance for happiness to come in.
Depowerment is the ability to keep your needs from being subject to others attempts at using power. Depowerment is the removal of power from a situation. Depowerment is freeing the circumstance from the influence of of power. Depowerment stops others from having control. Depowerment is self control. Depowerment is trust. Depowerment helps build relationships.
The Source of Power lets us have power if we want it. Empowerment. More of the same. Same shit, different person, so to speak. But the understanding of the Source of Power is what could depower our lives. Something new, something different, something better. Usiong the same understanding and targeting ourselves rather than others.
A higher evolution of relationships.
Maybe even the beginning of true compassion.
There is great understanding in knowing the Source of Power. The insight into the process of power is instrumental to knowing and having power. Without seeing that the power you seek resides in the person you seek to influence, you can do little more than the monkey and the typewriter. Eventually you will do something that results in power but it can't be called intentional. When, however, you understand that the Source of Power is need, that it is thing you target to have power over someone, power becomes both possible and intentional. Great leaders know this stuff. The average person doesn't.
That is the first thing I want to share.
What would the world be like if everyone knew how to use power? If everyone had an equal ability to intentionally, deliberately, and effectively use power?
I think it will change the world. There will no longer be the "us" and "them." We will recognize how we are our own slave-creator and that they are just as likely - no, absolutely are, - subject to being our slaves as well. If we want them to be...
But there is a more important opportunity here. It will be the focus of the second book.
Knowing the Source of Power, that is locating it and becoming familiar with it, is what will allow us to address it within us. Not addressing it in others to use power. But addressing it in ourselves to stop their power. And addressing it is more important. It is certainly more effective.
This insight into ourselves is itself powerful. It is powerful however because of the opportunity it creates.
If we can control our needs, and the need based relationships we create, we are in a position to control our own susceptibility to power. We can stop the ability of others to use power over us.
Seeking power, taking power, using power, this is empowerment. The Empowerment craze of the 80' and 90's has done nothing for our society except make things worse. Yes there are some small benefits in the workplace as we give workers more control over their work. But that is entrepreneurship not power. We can still fire their butts if we want. There is no real power per se. That is just an enhanced authority (power by consent) to those who show keen interest in success.
Empowerment for women has not made relationships any better. Yes, through things like professor Wolfe's Fire with Fire, women may see that playing the games men play against the men may cause men to feel uneasy and out of control, and possibly generate in women feelings of greater control. But in the end it is not real power because it does not address the Source of Power. It uses the Source from time to time. But by accident, not by intention. More important though, it only proliferates power, it does not improve our situation.
If the only way we can get along as equals is in some prolonged mistrusting game of power, well, then what have we gained? If we still base our relationships in some balanced power dynamic, what kind of relationship is that? Moreover, it cannot end well. Eventually the scales will tip again. It does not matter in whose favor they tip. Because ultimately what we have are relationships operating as power dynamics. One side using the needs of the other to control them.
There can be no love in that. There can be no real intimacy in that. There can be no growth as humans in that. Society may shift but the game remains the same and we all lose.
Look where empowerment has lead our society. People try to control others more and more every day. Whether it is the pursuit of wealth, political office or celebrity and fame, the quest for power is about creating an in equality for some to enjoy a benefit over others. To be better. To have more. To see ourselves as somehow entitled to a better life than others. Our western society has come to live in a constant state of war and we are not even concerned about this.
This is where our empowerment understandings and our cultural love/hate relationship with power have lead us.
The great idea that comes from understanding the Source of power is not the gaining of power but the ability to avoid power.
Power destroys trust. Trust is necessary for relationships. Relationships are the only real external source of growth and happiness. The increase of power decreases happiness. The decrease of power will create a chance for happiness to come in.
Depowerment is the ability to keep your needs from being subject to others attempts at using power. Depowerment is the removal of power from a situation. Depowerment is freeing the circumstance from the influence of of power. Depowerment stops others from having control. Depowerment is self control. Depowerment is trust. Depowerment helps build relationships.
The Source of Power lets us have power if we want it. Empowerment. More of the same. Same shit, different person, so to speak. But the understanding of the Source of Power is what could depower our lives. Something new, something different, something better. Usiong the same understanding and targeting ourselves rather than others.
A higher evolution of relationships.
Maybe even the beginning of true compassion.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
The Power of Spring
Life is more than just intense questions and interpersonal dynamics.
I was reminded of this early this morning....
Early this morning it was clear to me that we finally have spring.
At long last....but for how long...?
Spring is so short. In this land we go from cold and wet to hot and humid in a couple of weeks.
But spring needs to be appreciated.
It must be something special because we all notice it.
In the spring I like to remember the power of the earth. All things come from the earth. It is the origin of everything truly powerful.
Enjoy this spring day.
Les
Some thoughts......
Anne Bradstreet: If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
Edna St. Vincent Millay: April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.
Helen Hayes: All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar.
Margaret Atwood: In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.
Matthew Arnold: Is it so small a thing To have enjoy'd the sun, To have lived light in the spring, To have loved, to have thought, to have done...
Robert Frost: Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;And give us not to think so far awayAs the uncertain harvest; keep us hereAll simply in the springing of the year.
William Wordsworth: Written in Early Spring
I heard a thousand blended notes While in a grove I sate reclined, In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
To her fair works did Nature linkThe human soul that through me ran; And much it grieved my heart to think What Man has made of Man.
I was reminded of this early this morning....
Early this morning it was clear to me that we finally have spring.
At long last....but for how long...?
Spring is so short. In this land we go from cold and wet to hot and humid in a couple of weeks.
But spring needs to be appreciated.
It must be something special because we all notice it.
In the spring I like to remember the power of the earth. All things come from the earth. It is the origin of everything truly powerful.
Enjoy this spring day.
Les
Some thoughts......
Anne Bradstreet: If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
Edna St. Vincent Millay: April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.
Helen Hayes: All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar.
Margaret Atwood: In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.
Matthew Arnold: Is it so small a thing To have enjoy'd the sun, To have lived light in the spring, To have loved, to have thought, to have done...
Robert Frost: Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;And give us not to think so far awayAs the uncertain harvest; keep us hereAll simply in the springing of the year.
William Wordsworth: Written in Early Spring
I heard a thousand blended notes While in a grove I sate reclined, In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
To her fair works did Nature linkThe human soul that through me ran; And much it grieved my heart to think What Man has made of Man.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Power and Trust
So really what's so bad about using power to get what you want?
Why is it that so many see power as an evil or immoral thing?
Why are people afraid of power?
Why do they hold powerful people in disdain?
Why is it that inspite of this distain we still seek to mimic those with power?
Why is it that when I want to teach a course on power there is this natural mistrust?
Why is there this assumption that something sinister is afoot?
Why does the average person yearn for power, seek power, use power but ultimately hate power?
Why are the vast majority of relationships based in power?
Parent /Child
Teacher /Student
Employer/Employee
Politician/Citizen
Doctor/Patient
Clergy/Parishioner
Buyer/Seller
Unions/Management
Nations/Allies
These are relationships that are all about one getting from the other. They are about a sybiosis that is based on interdependence but usually disintegrates into some mild form of extortion.
Even those relationships not based in power cannot claim to be power free.
Man/Woman
Friend /Friend
Brothers/Sisters
Worker/Worker
Why do all relationships at one time or another involve power?
But then...
What is so bad about having power in these relationships anyway?
If I need to get what I need to get, and I can make someone else get it for me, well, why not?
If I have this need to fulfil my life purpose and other people, by necessity, are going to contribute to this, what is wrong with using power to get that contribution?
Well, then...
How do you feel when people use power over you?
Angry? Controlled? Manipulated? Coerced? Trapped? Tricked?
Angry. Real angry sometimes.
Why would we feel this way when we are the subject of a power dynamic?
Because deep inside we know that power is the exploitation of my needs for you to get what you want.
You use my desires, requirements and attachments to make me choose to do what you want me to do.
You use my weakness against me.
All relationships have a mutual benefit or there would be no relationship at all.
But if I reveal the benefit to me of my relationship with you, and then you use that as a means to get more from me than I would be willing to give, then you have violated the trust upon which we first created our connection.
We hate power because it exists within relationships that we want and need. And when it is used, it destroys the trust necessary to have the realtionship.
We are angry because the trust in the relationship, that trust that makes us comfortable and willing to be so engaged, is destroyed.
Power destroys trust.
Power destroys relationships.
We need relationships to fulfil our purpose.
But once we use power, all we have left is an ongoing power struggle. The relationship, partnership, connection is destroyed.
Is there another way?
Can we interact cooperatively without using power?
Although power may assist us in fulfilling our purpose, do we really need it? Is there not another way?
What is compassion?
Why is it that so many see power as an evil or immoral thing?
Why are people afraid of power?
Why do they hold powerful people in disdain?
Why is it that inspite of this distain we still seek to mimic those with power?
Why is it that when I want to teach a course on power there is this natural mistrust?
Why is there this assumption that something sinister is afoot?
Why does the average person yearn for power, seek power, use power but ultimately hate power?
Why are the vast majority of relationships based in power?
Parent /Child
Teacher /Student
Employer/Employee
Politician/Citizen
Doctor/Patient
Clergy/Parishioner
Buyer/Seller
Unions/Management
Nations/Allies
These are relationships that are all about one getting from the other. They are about a sybiosis that is based on interdependence but usually disintegrates into some mild form of extortion.
Even those relationships not based in power cannot claim to be power free.
Man/Woman
Friend /Friend
Brothers/Sisters
Worker/Worker
Why do all relationships at one time or another involve power?
But then...
What is so bad about having power in these relationships anyway?
If I need to get what I need to get, and I can make someone else get it for me, well, why not?
If I have this need to fulfil my life purpose and other people, by necessity, are going to contribute to this, what is wrong with using power to get that contribution?
Well, then...
How do you feel when people use power over you?
Angry? Controlled? Manipulated? Coerced? Trapped? Tricked?
Angry. Real angry sometimes.
Why would we feel this way when we are the subject of a power dynamic?
Because deep inside we know that power is the exploitation of my needs for you to get what you want.
You use my desires, requirements and attachments to make me choose to do what you want me to do.
You use my weakness against me.
All relationships have a mutual benefit or there would be no relationship at all.
But if I reveal the benefit to me of my relationship with you, and then you use that as a means to get more from me than I would be willing to give, then you have violated the trust upon which we first created our connection.
We hate power because it exists within relationships that we want and need. And when it is used, it destroys the trust necessary to have the realtionship.
We are angry because the trust in the relationship, that trust that makes us comfortable and willing to be so engaged, is destroyed.
Power destroys trust.
Power destroys relationships.
We need relationships to fulfil our purpose.
But once we use power, all we have left is an ongoing power struggle. The relationship, partnership, connection is destroyed.
Is there another way?
Can we interact cooperatively without using power?
Although power may assist us in fulfilling our purpose, do we really need it? Is there not another way?
What is compassion?
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Choice
Every life has a purpose -whether you think so or not. We are all here to live a series of events and challenges. We are all here to grow and develop into who we are. There is nothing easy about it. But it was never supposed to be easy. In fact you can be sure that if the process of your life is feeling easy it is either because you have successfully avoided your life or that you have successfully reached nirvana/oneness/enlightenment/heaven.
But the important facts are these: you will live this purpose through a series of choices you will make and you are not alone in this process.
It is obvious. We fall out of another human being. We would not survive without the benevolence of parents and family. We seek love and acceptance just as we seek food and shelter. We are a social beast.
As we progress through the days we find that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. A society can accomplish so much more than an individual. A group of people working together is capable of more than one person working alone.
Moreover, we discover and eventually come to accept, that there is very little in our lives that does not come from other people. Whatever you have as possessions, almost all came from the work of others.
Your knowledge was a gift from parents and teachers as well as books and their authors.
Your food and your home were likely the work of others. And even if your grew your food and built your home someone else gave you the seed, built the tillers and rakes you use, piped the water to your home for your irrigation, cut down the trees for the lumber, fabricated the nails and shingles and created the electricity you used to build. Most of what we have and use came from others.
Even if we are creative and are doing things no one else has done before, thinking things no one has thought before, creating things no one has created before, these are only possible due to the accomplishments of the past. Even if you have elite intellect and are creating new ideas in the world, Newton said it best, "If I have seen a little farther than others it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants."
Nothing comes to us except through others.
The great accomplishments of your life will require the compassionate interaction with other people. Coming to knowing your purpose will require the insight of others. Pursuing your purpose will require the cooperation of others. Fulfilling your purpose will require the contribution of others.
In this great process, we will need others and their abilities.
We cannot do it alone.
This need of others, exacerbated by the extensive interdependency of the society we have created, is the seed of all the power we will experience in our lives.
I will write more on this later, for this is the heart and soul of what I have to offer.
But for today we must focus on the first of the facts. Life is a series of choices.
You will live your life in increments. Whether you see these as steps, stages, phases, minutes moments or periods, each increment is created and finished by a choice you will make along the way.
The increments of a life lived are the choices of that life. Infinite in number as well as in effect, the choices we make are how we actually live.
Life is choice. The process of life is to make choices and then deal with the outcome by making more choices. Each choice being a step further. Not always a s step toward our goal. Often a step away from our goal. Not all choices are for our betterment. Some hurt badly. But even those choices that turn out to be detrimental or even painful, ultimately bring us closer to our purpose because life is not linear. It is more than our four dimensional existence. Growth comes in many directions. Each choice is a contribution to the net outcome.
The increment of life is choice.
When you combine our two truths - we live our lives through a series of choices and those choices are made in the presence of, and in conjunction with, others - we give birth to power.
Affecting choice is the purpose of power.
Power is the ability to use another's need to fulfill their purpose to cause them to make choices that benefit us. Power is using the increment of life to our benefit without regard to the benefit of the one making the choice.
The target of power is always choice. Power is about choice. Controling choice, influencing choice or seducing choice. Power is about impacting the choices others make. Power uses others choice to fulfil our purpose.
This is the relationship between power and choice.
But the important facts are these: you will live this purpose through a series of choices you will make and you are not alone in this process.
It is obvious. We fall out of another human being. We would not survive without the benevolence of parents and family. We seek love and acceptance just as we seek food and shelter. We are a social beast.
As we progress through the days we find that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. A society can accomplish so much more than an individual. A group of people working together is capable of more than one person working alone.
Moreover, we discover and eventually come to accept, that there is very little in our lives that does not come from other people. Whatever you have as possessions, almost all came from the work of others.
Your knowledge was a gift from parents and teachers as well as books and their authors.
Your food and your home were likely the work of others. And even if your grew your food and built your home someone else gave you the seed, built the tillers and rakes you use, piped the water to your home for your irrigation, cut down the trees for the lumber, fabricated the nails and shingles and created the electricity you used to build. Most of what we have and use came from others.
Even if we are creative and are doing things no one else has done before, thinking things no one has thought before, creating things no one has created before, these are only possible due to the accomplishments of the past. Even if you have elite intellect and are creating new ideas in the world, Newton said it best, "If I have seen a little farther than others it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants."
Nothing comes to us except through others.
The great accomplishments of your life will require the compassionate interaction with other people. Coming to knowing your purpose will require the insight of others. Pursuing your purpose will require the cooperation of others. Fulfilling your purpose will require the contribution of others.
In this great process, we will need others and their abilities.
We cannot do it alone.
This need of others, exacerbated by the extensive interdependency of the society we have created, is the seed of all the power we will experience in our lives.
I will write more on this later, for this is the heart and soul of what I have to offer.
But for today we must focus on the first of the facts. Life is a series of choices.
You will live your life in increments. Whether you see these as steps, stages, phases, minutes moments or periods, each increment is created and finished by a choice you will make along the way.
The increments of a life lived are the choices of that life. Infinite in number as well as in effect, the choices we make are how we actually live.
Life is choice. The process of life is to make choices and then deal with the outcome by making more choices. Each choice being a step further. Not always a s step toward our goal. Often a step away from our goal. Not all choices are for our betterment. Some hurt badly. But even those choices that turn out to be detrimental or even painful, ultimately bring us closer to our purpose because life is not linear. It is more than our four dimensional existence. Growth comes in many directions. Each choice is a contribution to the net outcome.
The increment of life is choice.
When you combine our two truths - we live our lives through a series of choices and those choices are made in the presence of, and in conjunction with, others - we give birth to power.
Affecting choice is the purpose of power.
Power is the ability to use another's need to fulfill their purpose to cause them to make choices that benefit us. Power is using the increment of life to our benefit without regard to the benefit of the one making the choice.
The target of power is always choice. Power is about choice. Controling choice, influencing choice or seducing choice. Power is about impacting the choices others make. Power uses others choice to fulfil our purpose.
This is the relationship between power and choice.
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