Q V. WHY ARE THEY USING POWER?
Because they have a Need.
All Power Dynamics are Bipolar.
They are driven by two sets of Needs.
So, what is their Need?
Examine their feelings.
Understand your Mechanism.
Categorize their Needs as Requirements, Desires or Attachments.
Examine the Complexities, how they Compound and how
they Compete.
State their Need.
State the whole Dynamic.
State it out loud.
Knowing that the source of power is Need changes everything. No matter what happens or how you feel, that ultimate truth offers the potential to break out of the cycle of conflict and power and see how all power is balanced.
When people use power it is because they are seeking to satisfy a need. It is the purpose of power.
Power is about choice. When you think power ask yourself what is the choice they are targeting?
Power comes from needs and abilities. So ask your self what are my needs and what are the abilities they have to affect those needs?
And then ask it again.
All power is BiPolar in nature. No power dynamic is created unless there is a need to be filled.
So ask the question – What is their need that drives this power dynamic and what is my ability that they are wanting me to use in their favor?
Some of the needs of the Actors are obvious and simple. You can name them without effort. They are predictable because people are predictable. And often the dynamic is about an outcome that you know. You may not have to look very hard to recognize why they want to use power.
Sometimes it’s not so simple. People can be sick and twisted. There are those who use power simply to prove they can. They do it for the rush or the thrill of it. Because they find having power over others to be pleasurable. But it is still a need. That need to use it or prove it, is the source of your potential power back on them.
The trick is to use their need just enough to put a halt to the dynamic.
Halting the dynamic and seeing it for all it is defeats power. It gives back the opportunity for choice. That is all we really wanted in the first place – was to have choice.
But there could be more…
If you can pause the dynamic long enough to state it out loud – to describe it to the other person in terms of needs and abilities – you may create more than just your own power. You may introduce a chance to do more than just take back choice. You may create the chance to openly discuss power and how in plays in that relationship.
Many people don’t like to think that they may be a power user.
We all are. It can’t be denied. We all use power from time to time to get our way. It is so natural to us because it has been practiced for most of our lives. We can do it without intention or thought. It just comes out sometimes.
But that doesn’t mean we really want to do that. It may mean we just don’t see it. It may mean we just haven’t tried anything else yet. – Yet…
The Bipolar Nature of the Power dynamic does more than balance the power and give back choice. It creates the chance for human evolution…
Now that would be some choice…
Monday, September 26, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Question Four - the method
QIV. WHAT IS MY NEED?
Identify your operating needs.
All of them.
Look to your feelings.
Control, Influence and Seduction
Fear, Anger and Excitement
Look to the Mechanisms they are using.
Is it directed at you or someone else?
Does it help or hinder?
Is it actual or potential?
Identify them as Requirements, Desires and Attachments.
Identify how they are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
Clearly articulate your Needs and state the Dynamic.
The Method is a simple thing. But it is not easy.
If the source of power is need, then you can know that when you feel some power dynamic it is being driven by some need or set of needs within you.
The truth is the power against you originates within you. Finding that origin is the first step.
When you have successfully located the need being stimulated by the mechanism, there are any number of choices you can make. After all, power is about choice. Having choice in spite of the power dynamic being utilized on you, is true power.
Isolating and naming that need is not easy. When have people been good at understanding their own emotions and feelings? Feelings are exactly that kind of evasive and deceptive thing. We may act on them and respond to them but we seldom have a good handle on them. Needs are like that.
They are like that because most of our needs are perceived as feelings. Hunger, thirst, yearning, cravings, desires, attachments, loneliness, love, fear, excitement, and anger are all feelings connected to need. We feel our needs. That is why they can be converted to feelings of power. It is the feeling of power that is motivating. Power is a feeling that motivates our choice.
That is why it works.
That is also why power is an illusion.
Getting a good understanding, a clear picture, of our needs is not easy. But it is necessary. When we can see the need that is being triggered by the mechanism employed by the actor, we can comprehend the dynamic. We can describe it in terms of words. We can state it out loud. We can externalize it and look at it and get a grip on it again. And amazingly often the power within it will begin to dissipate.
There are times when the need is so real and so un-compromise-able that we may decide consciously that we will comply with the intentions of the actor. We may agree to succumb. But at least it becomes a choice again. Not some gut reaction based in anger and resentment and weakness.
To find the need we must be systematic. In the beginning this system will be slow and appear inefficient. You may question its value given the pressing way people play out power. After all, time is often the most significant element in the circumstance. We may have to make choices in milliseconds. The idea then of a lengthy analysis would seem ridiculous - certainly useless in such situations.
However, like every other kind of thinking and decision making we do, we have conditioned ourselves into considering a specific set of factors. When we choose a food off a menu we can often do it in a matter of moments because we have made such decisions a number of times before. We have practiced and we have become good at it. We can give due thought to ten or twenty factors and make decisions in a moment. The difference is that you have never seen power as a thing of needs before. So it has not been part of your consideration in the past.
In the past you have looked to the consequences and the consequences alone. Then you feel the power and you make the decision. In the future, with practice you can look to the operating needs and then choose to submit to them or not.
It is nothing more than a new sequence of thoughts that you must practice and implement. You are not doing something you haven’t done millions of times before. You are just doing it in a new way. Because you already do this kind of thinking, it will become easy within just a few tries.
The sequence is this – First, look at the feelings you are experiencing – what do they tell you? What are you afraid of? What are you angry about? What are you excited about? How is it that you feel controlled, influenced or seduced? What is the feeling that is motivating you and where is it coming from?
Second, look to the thing they are using to get you to change your choice. What is the mechanism they are using to create this feeling? Are they applying it to you directly or to someone else? Is it an attempt to help you in your happiness or to inhibit or hurt your happiness? Is it real and actual? Or is it a threat or promise?
Next consider how you might classify this need. Is this a requirement? Is it something that you cannot live without? Does it go to your survival or inflict pain? Is it a desire? Is it something that you wish for? Is it something that you want but can live without? Is it part of my dreams and wishes? Is it an attachment? Is this a person, idea or thing that you are compelled to protect or defend? Is it something that you can’t let go of? Is it something that will cause you to lose self esteem if you allow it to be compromised?
Finally ask yourself if this feeling of need is complicated. Is it complex? Is it part of a larger need or plan you have? Are there other needs which are competing with this one? Do I have to make a choice between satisfying one need over another? Does it feel worse because it is compounded with other needs? Am I feeling this need because of other needs which are going on at the same time?
Make sure you are taking enough time to see deep into that pool of needs and identify all of the ones that are operating.
Now you see the source of the power against you. You can even describe it. They are using their ability to ……….to help or hinder my need for……….to get me to make the following choice…………..
You can state your side of the dynamic.
Your side you say…?
There is another side?
Yes of course. People don’t use power without a reason. They are motivated to use power because they have a need. This is another of those infinite possibilities hidden inside the truth about power. If the source of power is the need of the subject, and the actor is only using power because they have a need, then their need is your source of power.
Yes, in every power dynamic there are two sides. And yes, every time someone uses power on you, there is an opportunity for you to use power on them.
If you really want to….
Identify your operating needs.
All of them.
Look to your feelings.
Control, Influence and Seduction
Fear, Anger and Excitement
Look to the Mechanisms they are using.
Is it directed at you or someone else?
Does it help or hinder?
Is it actual or potential?
Identify them as Requirements, Desires and Attachments.
Identify how they are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
Clearly articulate your Needs and state the Dynamic.
The Method is a simple thing. But it is not easy.
If the source of power is need, then you can know that when you feel some power dynamic it is being driven by some need or set of needs within you.
The truth is the power against you originates within you. Finding that origin is the first step.
When you have successfully located the need being stimulated by the mechanism, there are any number of choices you can make. After all, power is about choice. Having choice in spite of the power dynamic being utilized on you, is true power.
Isolating and naming that need is not easy. When have people been good at understanding their own emotions and feelings? Feelings are exactly that kind of evasive and deceptive thing. We may act on them and respond to them but we seldom have a good handle on them. Needs are like that.
They are like that because most of our needs are perceived as feelings. Hunger, thirst, yearning, cravings, desires, attachments, loneliness, love, fear, excitement, and anger are all feelings connected to need. We feel our needs. That is why they can be converted to feelings of power. It is the feeling of power that is motivating. Power is a feeling that motivates our choice.
That is why it works.
That is also why power is an illusion.
Getting a good understanding, a clear picture, of our needs is not easy. But it is necessary. When we can see the need that is being triggered by the mechanism employed by the actor, we can comprehend the dynamic. We can describe it in terms of words. We can state it out loud. We can externalize it and look at it and get a grip on it again. And amazingly often the power within it will begin to dissipate.
There are times when the need is so real and so un-compromise-able that we may decide consciously that we will comply with the intentions of the actor. We may agree to succumb. But at least it becomes a choice again. Not some gut reaction based in anger and resentment and weakness.
To find the need we must be systematic. In the beginning this system will be slow and appear inefficient. You may question its value given the pressing way people play out power. After all, time is often the most significant element in the circumstance. We may have to make choices in milliseconds. The idea then of a lengthy analysis would seem ridiculous - certainly useless in such situations.
However, like every other kind of thinking and decision making we do, we have conditioned ourselves into considering a specific set of factors. When we choose a food off a menu we can often do it in a matter of moments because we have made such decisions a number of times before. We have practiced and we have become good at it. We can give due thought to ten or twenty factors and make decisions in a moment. The difference is that you have never seen power as a thing of needs before. So it has not been part of your consideration in the past.
In the past you have looked to the consequences and the consequences alone. Then you feel the power and you make the decision. In the future, with practice you can look to the operating needs and then choose to submit to them or not.
It is nothing more than a new sequence of thoughts that you must practice and implement. You are not doing something you haven’t done millions of times before. You are just doing it in a new way. Because you already do this kind of thinking, it will become easy within just a few tries.
The sequence is this – First, look at the feelings you are experiencing – what do they tell you? What are you afraid of? What are you angry about? What are you excited about? How is it that you feel controlled, influenced or seduced? What is the feeling that is motivating you and where is it coming from?
Second, look to the thing they are using to get you to change your choice. What is the mechanism they are using to create this feeling? Are they applying it to you directly or to someone else? Is it an attempt to help you in your happiness or to inhibit or hurt your happiness? Is it real and actual? Or is it a threat or promise?
Next consider how you might classify this need. Is this a requirement? Is it something that you cannot live without? Does it go to your survival or inflict pain? Is it a desire? Is it something that you wish for? Is it something that you want but can live without? Is it part of my dreams and wishes? Is it an attachment? Is this a person, idea or thing that you are compelled to protect or defend? Is it something that you can’t let go of? Is it something that will cause you to lose self esteem if you allow it to be compromised?
Finally ask yourself if this feeling of need is complicated. Is it complex? Is it part of a larger need or plan you have? Are there other needs which are competing with this one? Do I have to make a choice between satisfying one need over another? Does it feel worse because it is compounded with other needs? Am I feeling this need because of other needs which are going on at the same time?
Make sure you are taking enough time to see deep into that pool of needs and identify all of the ones that are operating.
Now you see the source of the power against you. You can even describe it. They are using their ability to ……….to help or hinder my need for……….to get me to make the following choice…………..
You can state your side of the dynamic.
Your side you say…?
There is another side?
Yes of course. People don’t use power without a reason. They are motivated to use power because they have a need. This is another of those infinite possibilities hidden inside the truth about power. If the source of power is the need of the subject, and the actor is only using power because they have a need, then their need is your source of power.
Yes, in every power dynamic there are two sides. And yes, every time someone uses power on you, there is an opportunity for you to use power on them.
If you really want to….
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Complications
It may be that the dynamic of power as described appears a little simplistic. After all it doesn't feel that straight forward when you are deep in the experience and the feelings of power. When the anger is welling up from the feeling of being controlled by another person, to suggest that you should have better control of your needs, seems to ignore the magnitude of the situation.
The reason this appears at first blush to be an over-simplification is because all of our needs are active in some degree at the same time. They compete and compound with each other in ways that inhibit our ability to isolate one operating need.
We are simply a walking pool of needs. We have thousands in a given day and each one compels us to respond to it.
And they don’t wait their turn. Whether it is the result of some internal or external event or because some actor has tried to stimulate it, we can experience any need at ant time. We may be living one need when another comes forward and demands a response.
The needs we have compete for satisfaction. When a power dynamic is started with some other set of needs as the target, those new needs compete with those we are presently addressing. This exacerbates our feelings, frustrates our ability to satisfy them and enhances the actor’s ability to generate some power effect on the choices we are making at the time.
Two sets of power dynamics taking place from the efforts of two people can make our lives feel like hell. Imagine three or more…
When the boss wants you to work late and your spouse wants you at home and your child wants to play and you are hungry and need to eat and you are stressing over the unpaid bills, and you know that if you don’t get some exercise and stress relief you will have a heart attack, you are having some pretty complicated power dynamics.
Not only do they compete but they compound.
Sometimes a set of needs is augmented by other sets of needs that may or may not be related.
The effect of one need may be something you can over come.
You may be hungry and have a need for some nourishment.
But compound that with the need to feed your children and you have some pretty compelling power dynamics. So you can be understanding with someone who accepts a demotion and a cut in pay when you compound their need for food with the need to feed the children and the need to have shelter and the need to pay the bills and the need to have some self esteem and to have something like a career.
One set of needs adds to the next and soon the compounding effect makes it hard to distinguish one need from the other and impossible to isolate which need is the one that this power dynamic is playing on.
But there is more.
Needs can be complex.
Some needs are mental constructions that are built from a series of other needs that may need to be satisfied in some sequence or aggregate.
The need for a happy marriage is something that is built on a balance of satisfying other needs. This combines the need for self fulfillment and the fulfillment of others. You may start with your need for love and to be loved. There is the need to be appreciated for you as a person. You will have a little bit of companionship and common interests that need to be satisfied. You will have sex and affection. You will add a little bit of career with a little bit of child rearing. A dream or two for each of you. And maybe a little time for solitude and quiet.
All these needs must be satisfied. And each of them will have steps and increments for satisfaction.
All of them compounding and competing with each other – seeking satisfaction and thus compelling choices and behaviors. All being managed by you, day to day, moment to moment, to achieve the larger more complex goals…
Until some rotten SOB comes along and starts to use them as a source of power to control, influence or seduce your choices and get you to do, say or think what they want.
So when I say to you that the Dynamic of power is the simple application of a mechanism – an ability to help or hinder some operating need – to some active need that the actor has isolated and decided to use to create a feeling of control influence or seduction in you – you say it ain’t so simple…
Sometimes the mechanism will address more than the targeted need. Now here they are compounding with each other and those others we were busy trying to respond to. Sometimes the mechanism targets needs which we have sleeping happily waiting for later. Soon they compete for satisfaction. Sometimes the mechanism targets such a complicated complex set of needs that it is hard to see which part of that complex set is being activated. Sometimes that mechanism is so sweet that we cannot stop to think about anything.
The whole thing doesn’t feel simple. It feels so compelling and complicated. How can you simplify power this way?
No, the experience of Power is not simple.
It is not the dynamic that is complicated.
The needs are complicated. The dynamic is simple.
So when Power Dynamics compete, compound and are complex, it is because the needs one lives are competing, compounding and complex.
They are the source of that power.
The reason this appears at first blush to be an over-simplification is because all of our needs are active in some degree at the same time. They compete and compound with each other in ways that inhibit our ability to isolate one operating need.
We are simply a walking pool of needs. We have thousands in a given day and each one compels us to respond to it.
And they don’t wait their turn. Whether it is the result of some internal or external event or because some actor has tried to stimulate it, we can experience any need at ant time. We may be living one need when another comes forward and demands a response.
The needs we have compete for satisfaction. When a power dynamic is started with some other set of needs as the target, those new needs compete with those we are presently addressing. This exacerbates our feelings, frustrates our ability to satisfy them and enhances the actor’s ability to generate some power effect on the choices we are making at the time.
Two sets of power dynamics taking place from the efforts of two people can make our lives feel like hell. Imagine three or more…
When the boss wants you to work late and your spouse wants you at home and your child wants to play and you are hungry and need to eat and you are stressing over the unpaid bills, and you know that if you don’t get some exercise and stress relief you will have a heart attack, you are having some pretty complicated power dynamics.
Not only do they compete but they compound.
Sometimes a set of needs is augmented by other sets of needs that may or may not be related.
The effect of one need may be something you can over come.
You may be hungry and have a need for some nourishment.
But compound that with the need to feed your children and you have some pretty compelling power dynamics. So you can be understanding with someone who accepts a demotion and a cut in pay when you compound their need for food with the need to feed the children and the need to have shelter and the need to pay the bills and the need to have some self esteem and to have something like a career.
One set of needs adds to the next and soon the compounding effect makes it hard to distinguish one need from the other and impossible to isolate which need is the one that this power dynamic is playing on.
But there is more.
Needs can be complex.
Some needs are mental constructions that are built from a series of other needs that may need to be satisfied in some sequence or aggregate.
The need for a happy marriage is something that is built on a balance of satisfying other needs. This combines the need for self fulfillment and the fulfillment of others. You may start with your need for love and to be loved. There is the need to be appreciated for you as a person. You will have a little bit of companionship and common interests that need to be satisfied. You will have sex and affection. You will add a little bit of career with a little bit of child rearing. A dream or two for each of you. And maybe a little time for solitude and quiet.
All these needs must be satisfied. And each of them will have steps and increments for satisfaction.
All of them compounding and competing with each other – seeking satisfaction and thus compelling choices and behaviors. All being managed by you, day to day, moment to moment, to achieve the larger more complex goals…
Until some rotten SOB comes along and starts to use them as a source of power to control, influence or seduce your choices and get you to do, say or think what they want.
So when I say to you that the Dynamic of power is the simple application of a mechanism – an ability to help or hinder some operating need – to some active need that the actor has isolated and decided to use to create a feeling of control influence or seduction in you – you say it ain’t so simple…
Sometimes the mechanism will address more than the targeted need. Now here they are compounding with each other and those others we were busy trying to respond to. Sometimes the mechanism targets needs which we have sleeping happily waiting for later. Soon they compete for satisfaction. Sometimes the mechanism targets such a complicated complex set of needs that it is hard to see which part of that complex set is being activated. Sometimes that mechanism is so sweet that we cannot stop to think about anything.
The whole thing doesn’t feel simple. It feels so compelling and complicated. How can you simplify power this way?
No, the experience of Power is not simple.
It is not the dynamic that is complicated.
The needs are complicated. The dynamic is simple.
So when Power Dynamics compete, compound and are complex, it is because the needs one lives are competing, compounding and complex.
They are the source of that power.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Question Four
Coming to the realization that power is not what we have always imagined can have an immediate impact on your life.
Children see power as a characteristic of some other person. That person got their power either from someone else or as some great gift from heaven. The power is theirs. The power is in them. Or it is in the thing they wield.
Adults will strategize about getting power. They have no real plan because they do not really know where the power comes from. They continue into their adult lives seeing power as an attribute of someone's position or wealth.
They criticise those with power and say they would act differently if they had power. They dream of a day when they could have whatever they want. A day when they can get people to comply with their wishes.
Many simply give up and say I have no power. I will have no power. I am powerless and it is my life to avoid or submit to those who will rule my life.
But our insight changes that.
Knowing that the source of all power lies in the needs within the targeted subject of that power dynamic, opens doors to new methods. These are the Methods of having power.
It always tickles me to think that this little tiny fact can change one's life.
In this insight sleeps a thousand significant ideas that will dramatically impact our lives and the world around us.
Here is the first such idea.
If the source of power is need, then to stop the power against us, to overcome someones efforts to control , influence or seduce us, we simply need to understand which of our needs is operating and then do what we can to depower it.
Simple but not easy.
Understanding ones' own needs is not a common effort in our society. Our society teaches us to act on our needs. It encourages us to have what we want now. It facilitates us getting things. Our society says to have is to be happy. This, of course, is illusion.
But our society also teaches that those who can forbear such actions tend to have the upper hand. Those who can defer gratification of their needs find themselves in a position to satisfy greater more meaningful needs. Those in control of their needs have power.
Now we know why that is true.
But keeping to the Method of having power, we must follow a first step - know your operating needs.
What is the need, or set of needs, which are being accessed by the mechanism of power the Actor is utilizing now?
And that is our next question...
The Method
Q IV. WHAT IS MY NEED?
Identify your operating needs.
All of them.
Look to your feelings.
Control, Influence and Seduction
Fear, Anger and Excitement
Look to the Mechanisms they are using.
Is it directed at you or someone else?
Does it help or hinder?
Is it actual or potential?
Identify them as Requirements, Desires and Attachments.
Identify how they are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
Clearly articulate your Needs and state the Dynamic.
Children see power as a characteristic of some other person. That person got their power either from someone else or as some great gift from heaven. The power is theirs. The power is in them. Or it is in the thing they wield.
Adults will strategize about getting power. They have no real plan because they do not really know where the power comes from. They continue into their adult lives seeing power as an attribute of someone's position or wealth.
They criticise those with power and say they would act differently if they had power. They dream of a day when they could have whatever they want. A day when they can get people to comply with their wishes.
Many simply give up and say I have no power. I will have no power. I am powerless and it is my life to avoid or submit to those who will rule my life.
But our insight changes that.
Knowing that the source of all power lies in the needs within the targeted subject of that power dynamic, opens doors to new methods. These are the Methods of having power.
It always tickles me to think that this little tiny fact can change one's life.
In this insight sleeps a thousand significant ideas that will dramatically impact our lives and the world around us.
Here is the first such idea.
If the source of power is need, then to stop the power against us, to overcome someones efforts to control , influence or seduce us, we simply need to understand which of our needs is operating and then do what we can to depower it.
Simple but not easy.
Understanding ones' own needs is not a common effort in our society. Our society teaches us to act on our needs. It encourages us to have what we want now. It facilitates us getting things. Our society says to have is to be happy. This, of course, is illusion.
But our society also teaches that those who can forbear such actions tend to have the upper hand. Those who can defer gratification of their needs find themselves in a position to satisfy greater more meaningful needs. Those in control of their needs have power.
Now we know why that is true.
But keeping to the Method of having power, we must follow a first step - know your operating needs.
What is the need, or set of needs, which are being accessed by the mechanism of power the Actor is utilizing now?
And that is our next question...
The Method
Q IV. WHAT IS MY NEED?
Identify your operating needs.
All of them.
Look to your feelings.
Control, Influence and Seduction
Fear, Anger and Excitement
Look to the Mechanisms they are using.
Is it directed at you or someone else?
Does it help or hinder?
Is it actual or potential?
Identify them as Requirements, Desires and Attachments.
Identify how they are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
Clearly articulate your Needs and state the Dynamic.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Question Three
So...
...if the idea that power cannot exist without a need within the subject is making sense to you, then you are acknowledging that your previous mental programming about power is not accurate.
Now you want to understand how power really works.
So you ask the next question...
Q III. WHAT IS THE DYNAMIC OF POWER?
Power is about Choice.
Power is about the Control, Influence or Seduction of that Choice.
The Actor has a Need the Subject can impact.
The Actor sees the Subject as a part of the Circumstance they must respond to.
To create Power the Actor identifies the Needs of the Subject.
The Actor applies a Mechanism of Power to help or hinder the satisfaction of the Subject’s Need.
As a result the Subject experiences feelings of Power - Control, Influence or Seduction.
Also, the Subject experiences feelings of motivation – Fear, Anger or Excitement.
Just like the Needs that create it, Power Dynamics are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
The Subject responds with a Choice.
Power is an interpersonal thing. Although we want to see structures and organizations in our society as powerful, in truth they are just groups of people. Sometimes they act on the directions of an individual who is a leader or an authority. Sometimes they act in some group-think fashion with no real single mentality. But in truth they act and it is the people who act.
Power is a people thing.
Everyday we all walk around saturated in needs. Some are requirements - absolutes that must be fulfilled or our survival is at risk. Some are simple desires, wishes or wants. Things we do not require but we want in some meaningful way.
They may not be so simple. They may be complex. The strategies we use to obtain our wishes will need to be just as complex.
We feel attachments. In truth we probably experience more attachments than anything else. We can turn survival into an attachment to a way of life. We can turn our simplist desires into something that we must have or we are not who we want to be. Thus they become attachments.
We are attached to people or things or ideas and we believe that if we release them, if we allow them to be breached, we are somehow violating our deepest self. We have so many attachments - and we show them in our actions and words - that it is hard for them not to become the source of someone else's power.
Very little of what we do in a day is not about some kind of requirement, desire or attachment.
And we are surrounded by people living this out.
In the pursuit of our desires and attachments, we find ourselves with opportunities to assist or be assisted - inhibit or be inhibited - in the satisfying of our collective needs. We collide with others who could help us or hinder us in any number of our needs. And they collide with us.
If we could use some help, we look around to find someone who would be willing to help. Sometimes that is easy. It is easy because we have friends and family that care for us - that are attached to us.
Sometimes others are not freely willing to help us.
So to motivate them to chose to help, we use power. We may offer them some reward - seduce them - into helping us. But to do so requires an understanding of what they want - what they need.
We may not be able to recognize something about them we could use to seduce, so we may use something to control them. We may threaten their well being by imposing or withholding something they need or want. Again we must first spot the need.
We may have nothing that can help or hinder them. So we may turn to others to do so for us. Others that are attached to us or others we can influence in some way using their unique set of needs.
In the end, what impacts the choice of others is our ability to help or hinder them in some Requirement, Desire or Attachment that they have.
The ability we have is a mechanism. It is the thing that releases the power that lies dormant within the need. It is not itself a thing of power. For power exists within people not within things. It is a mechanism that can release power if there is a need it can speak to.
For example...
The ability to have spend or give money - in large amounts - is an incredibly effective mechanism of power in our world because there is not much you cannot buy. However if there is no need for money in the life of our target subject, it is no longer powerful. Money does not create a lot of power in rich people. They already have it.
The power is not in the money, it is in our ability to use it to help or hinder the other person. Thus it is motivating them to help us in our own quest. It motivates by creating feelings of control, influence or seduction, coupled with feelings of anger, fear or excitement. The whole of the power experience is going on inside the subject. The actor is simply trying to use the needs of their subject to motivate a choice to do, say or think something. The mechanism allows them the chance to use the need - to exploit the power within the need.
The dynamic of power is simple.
It is always an application of a mechanism against a need to create an experience of control, influence or seduction coupled with motivating feelings of anger, fear or excitement.
Person against person. Whether a group of people or not. It is a personal thing.
It happens within the subject. It is created within the subject. The source of the power is within the subject. And the dynamic of power plays itself out within the mind of the subject.
And - for better or worse - power is created.
...if the idea that power cannot exist without a need within the subject is making sense to you, then you are acknowledging that your previous mental programming about power is not accurate.
Now you want to understand how power really works.
So you ask the next question...
Q III. WHAT IS THE DYNAMIC OF POWER?
Power is about Choice.
Power is about the Control, Influence or Seduction of that Choice.
The Actor has a Need the Subject can impact.
The Actor sees the Subject as a part of the Circumstance they must respond to.
To create Power the Actor identifies the Needs of the Subject.
The Actor applies a Mechanism of Power to help or hinder the satisfaction of the Subject’s Need.
As a result the Subject experiences feelings of Power - Control, Influence or Seduction.
Also, the Subject experiences feelings of motivation – Fear, Anger or Excitement.
Just like the Needs that create it, Power Dynamics are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
The Subject responds with a Choice.
Power is an interpersonal thing. Although we want to see structures and organizations in our society as powerful, in truth they are just groups of people. Sometimes they act on the directions of an individual who is a leader or an authority. Sometimes they act in some group-think fashion with no real single mentality. But in truth they act and it is the people who act.
Power is a people thing.
Everyday we all walk around saturated in needs. Some are requirements - absolutes that must be fulfilled or our survival is at risk. Some are simple desires, wishes or wants. Things we do not require but we want in some meaningful way.
They may not be so simple. They may be complex. The strategies we use to obtain our wishes will need to be just as complex.
We feel attachments. In truth we probably experience more attachments than anything else. We can turn survival into an attachment to a way of life. We can turn our simplist desires into something that we must have or we are not who we want to be. Thus they become attachments.
We are attached to people or things or ideas and we believe that if we release them, if we allow them to be breached, we are somehow violating our deepest self. We have so many attachments - and we show them in our actions and words - that it is hard for them not to become the source of someone else's power.
Very little of what we do in a day is not about some kind of requirement, desire or attachment.
And we are surrounded by people living this out.
In the pursuit of our desires and attachments, we find ourselves with opportunities to assist or be assisted - inhibit or be inhibited - in the satisfying of our collective needs. We collide with others who could help us or hinder us in any number of our needs. And they collide with us.
If we could use some help, we look around to find someone who would be willing to help. Sometimes that is easy. It is easy because we have friends and family that care for us - that are attached to us.
Sometimes others are not freely willing to help us.
So to motivate them to chose to help, we use power. We may offer them some reward - seduce them - into helping us. But to do so requires an understanding of what they want - what they need.
We may not be able to recognize something about them we could use to seduce, so we may use something to control them. We may threaten their well being by imposing or withholding something they need or want. Again we must first spot the need.
We may have nothing that can help or hinder them. So we may turn to others to do so for us. Others that are attached to us or others we can influence in some way using their unique set of needs.
In the end, what impacts the choice of others is our ability to help or hinder them in some Requirement, Desire or Attachment that they have.
The ability we have is a mechanism. It is the thing that releases the power that lies dormant within the need. It is not itself a thing of power. For power exists within people not within things. It is a mechanism that can release power if there is a need it can speak to.
For example...
The ability to have spend or give money - in large amounts - is an incredibly effective mechanism of power in our world because there is not much you cannot buy. However if there is no need for money in the life of our target subject, it is no longer powerful. Money does not create a lot of power in rich people. They already have it.
The power is not in the money, it is in our ability to use it to help or hinder the other person. Thus it is motivating them to help us in our own quest. It motivates by creating feelings of control, influence or seduction, coupled with feelings of anger, fear or excitement. The whole of the power experience is going on inside the subject. The actor is simply trying to use the needs of their subject to motivate a choice to do, say or think something. The mechanism allows them the chance to use the need - to exploit the power within the need.
The dynamic of power is simple.
It is always an application of a mechanism against a need to create an experience of control, influence or seduction coupled with motivating feelings of anger, fear or excitement.
Person against person. Whether a group of people or not. It is a personal thing.
It happens within the subject. It is created within the subject. The source of the power is within the subject. And the dynamic of power plays itself out within the mind of the subject.
And - for better or worse - power is created.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
The Source of Power
Q II. WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF POWER?
The Source of Power is the Need within the Subject.
But for the Need, there is no Power.
Needs are experienced asRequirements, Desires, and Attachments.
Needs are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
Growing up in a world full of people using power over you can create myths about your reality.
From the instant you are born you are experiencing power. When your mother first decided to let you cry rather than pick you up, you experienced power. However long before this, you learned how to use power. It was why you cried. If you did, mom would pick you up. She would feed you or change you or just hold you.
At this point in your life you were not making conscious decisions to use power. You were simply acting in a way that worked. You were responding to your needs with an action that got you relief.
This kind of lesson about power is not cognitive. There is nothing rational about it. You have learned these lessons on the most animal of levels. These kind of lessons are hard to dispel when your rational, logical self comes into play.
To understand more about this aspect of the mind you may consider doing some reading in developmental psychology and neuro-lingusitic programming (NLP).
But to see where the myths come into play, we must understand that at some point, early in our lives, whether that was our mother or caregiver or someone else - someone chose not to respond to our cries for help. Someone chose not to give us what we wanted.
Our first power struggle...
No matter how many power struggles we may have won to that point, oblivious to their existence, when one of the persons ruling our lives decided that we were not going to have our way - we were going to have to learn to endulge our suffering - we lost our first power struggle. At that point, because we could not satisfy our need ourselves, we became aware of the power others had over us. Our need was unbearable and we submitted. In that first submission was born the practice of locating power outside ourselves. Power was something that someone else had.
And the lessons continued from there. As we grew and found ourselves trying to get what we wanted, using different strategies, with different people in our lives, we had that lesson reinforced. Power is out there. It is something parents, teachers, adults had. Our job was to learn how to get our own.
As we matured we began the bargaining and negotiation that became common in our everyday life.
Soon, as teenagers, we learned that many of the authorities of our lives could be overcome. Parents and Teachers could not use force. Rebellion and challenge were tools that worked. We learned instinctively what our parents and families wanted from us and we used it to create our own power. It countered the power we were subject to and we began to be powerful.
We learned about independence. We learned about manipulation. We learned about lying and information control. We were able to use power.
But we did not call it power. And we did not see how it was about the need of the subject that created the power we had rather than the skill or possession we used.
In fact, what we learned was that unless we had something they wanted we had no power. So we continued our lessons of thinking that power was something "out there" by gaining knowledge and money and learning to use our abilities to get results. Always thinking that it was what we had or could do that gave us power.
So as adults we have come to believe that the source of power is wealth, or public office, or authority, or strength, or knowledge, or beauty or any number of other things.
Our lessons have taught us that sometimes power works and sometimes it doesn't.
It is in that lesson that we can learn the most important lesson.
Why doesn't power work when we think it should? Why does beauty sometimes get us what we want and other times doesn't? Why is it that sometimes having money is all it takes to get your way but sometimes people seem to be able to over come it? Why is it that sometimes people are willing to suffer - even die - rather than submit to force? Why is it that sometimes even the president of a nation should be afraid?
Because the power does not reside in the thing. There is no power in money. There is no power in authority. There is no power in beauty or sex. There is no power in brute strength or the ability to implement an army.
The power is in our requirement for money - in our world you have money or you die. The power is in our need for order and predictability in our society - without social order shaos and destruction results. It is in our drive for sex and our desire of beauty. The power is in our attachment to survival.
The power is in the need.
The baby needed to have her diaper changed. The mother had the ability to do it. The baby wanted the mother to chose to change her diaper. So time and again, the mother responded and changed the diaper.
Because she needed to be a good mother.
The baby used her ability to cry to upset the mother into thinking she was not being a good mother. The mothers need was more pressing than the baby's. The baby won.
But soon the mother knew that if the baby had to wait for a diaper change, the baby would be fine. And she was still a good mother. So, the baby was forced to wait. The mother won the power struggle.
The feelings of power - control, influence or seduction - are stimulated by feelings of motivation - anger, fear or excitement - they are created by needs - requirements, desires and attachments - which are subject to abilities - mechanisms of power.
The source of power is need. Without the need there is no power.
It is not an external thing, or force, held or possessed by someone else. The power against us is created in the needs we have - the requirements, desires and attachments we feel.
Power is not real. Control is an illusion. Every feeling of power be it control, influence or seduction is not real. It is simply a feeling. A construct of the mind. That mental creation is having an impact on the choices we make. This is because at that primal mental level we are just babies trying to alleviate suffering. But when we try to rise to a level of cognitive life - deliberate living - we take back choice. There is always a choice to be made. The act of Choice is true power.
On the other hand, Needs are real. That is why there can be such a thing as power. It is the core of our nature. Our life is the journey from need to need. Meeting other persons making the same journey. Seeking to alleviate their suffering. Seeking to satisfy their needs.
It is that journey that creates the possibility for power.
The source of power is need.
Of course there is a hope...
When we accept our needs and the needs of others as the reality we are here to address - the purpose of this life - we will likely stop the utilization of power and begin the application of compassion.
The Source of Power is the Need within the Subject.
But for the Need, there is no Power.
Needs are experienced asRequirements, Desires, and Attachments.
Needs are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
Growing up in a world full of people using power over you can create myths about your reality.
From the instant you are born you are experiencing power. When your mother first decided to let you cry rather than pick you up, you experienced power. However long before this, you learned how to use power. It was why you cried. If you did, mom would pick you up. She would feed you or change you or just hold you.
At this point in your life you were not making conscious decisions to use power. You were simply acting in a way that worked. You were responding to your needs with an action that got you relief.
This kind of lesson about power is not cognitive. There is nothing rational about it. You have learned these lessons on the most animal of levels. These kind of lessons are hard to dispel when your rational, logical self comes into play.
To understand more about this aspect of the mind you may consider doing some reading in developmental psychology and neuro-lingusitic programming (NLP).
But to see where the myths come into play, we must understand that at some point, early in our lives, whether that was our mother or caregiver or someone else - someone chose not to respond to our cries for help. Someone chose not to give us what we wanted.
Our first power struggle...
No matter how many power struggles we may have won to that point, oblivious to their existence, when one of the persons ruling our lives decided that we were not going to have our way - we were going to have to learn to endulge our suffering - we lost our first power struggle. At that point, because we could not satisfy our need ourselves, we became aware of the power others had over us. Our need was unbearable and we submitted. In that first submission was born the practice of locating power outside ourselves. Power was something that someone else had.
And the lessons continued from there. As we grew and found ourselves trying to get what we wanted, using different strategies, with different people in our lives, we had that lesson reinforced. Power is out there. It is something parents, teachers, adults had. Our job was to learn how to get our own.
As we matured we began the bargaining and negotiation that became common in our everyday life.
Soon, as teenagers, we learned that many of the authorities of our lives could be overcome. Parents and Teachers could not use force. Rebellion and challenge were tools that worked. We learned instinctively what our parents and families wanted from us and we used it to create our own power. It countered the power we were subject to and we began to be powerful.
We learned about independence. We learned about manipulation. We learned about lying and information control. We were able to use power.
But we did not call it power. And we did not see how it was about the need of the subject that created the power we had rather than the skill or possession we used.
In fact, what we learned was that unless we had something they wanted we had no power. So we continued our lessons of thinking that power was something "out there" by gaining knowledge and money and learning to use our abilities to get results. Always thinking that it was what we had or could do that gave us power.
So as adults we have come to believe that the source of power is wealth, or public office, or authority, or strength, or knowledge, or beauty or any number of other things.
Our lessons have taught us that sometimes power works and sometimes it doesn't.
It is in that lesson that we can learn the most important lesson.
Why doesn't power work when we think it should? Why does beauty sometimes get us what we want and other times doesn't? Why is it that sometimes having money is all it takes to get your way but sometimes people seem to be able to over come it? Why is it that sometimes people are willing to suffer - even die - rather than submit to force? Why is it that sometimes even the president of a nation should be afraid?
Because the power does not reside in the thing. There is no power in money. There is no power in authority. There is no power in beauty or sex. There is no power in brute strength or the ability to implement an army.
The power is in our requirement for money - in our world you have money or you die. The power is in our need for order and predictability in our society - without social order shaos and destruction results. It is in our drive for sex and our desire of beauty. The power is in our attachment to survival.
The power is in the need.
The baby needed to have her diaper changed. The mother had the ability to do it. The baby wanted the mother to chose to change her diaper. So time and again, the mother responded and changed the diaper.
Because she needed to be a good mother.
The baby used her ability to cry to upset the mother into thinking she was not being a good mother. The mothers need was more pressing than the baby's. The baby won.
But soon the mother knew that if the baby had to wait for a diaper change, the baby would be fine. And she was still a good mother. So, the baby was forced to wait. The mother won the power struggle.
The feelings of power - control, influence or seduction - are stimulated by feelings of motivation - anger, fear or excitement - they are created by needs - requirements, desires and attachments - which are subject to abilities - mechanisms of power.
The source of power is need. Without the need there is no power.
It is not an external thing, or force, held or possessed by someone else. The power against us is created in the needs we have - the requirements, desires and attachments we feel.
Power is not real. Control is an illusion. Every feeling of power be it control, influence or seduction is not real. It is simply a feeling. A construct of the mind. That mental creation is having an impact on the choices we make. This is because at that primal mental level we are just babies trying to alleviate suffering. But when we try to rise to a level of cognitive life - deliberate living - we take back choice. There is always a choice to be made. The act of Choice is true power.
On the other hand, Needs are real. That is why there can be such a thing as power. It is the core of our nature. Our life is the journey from need to need. Meeting other persons making the same journey. Seeking to alleviate their suffering. Seeking to satisfy their needs.
It is that journey that creates the possibility for power.
The source of power is need.
Of course there is a hope...
When we accept our needs and the needs of others as the reality we are here to address - the purpose of this life - we will likely stop the utilization of power and begin the application of compassion.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Control is an Illusion
We approach power like it is a magical skill of another person. We meet someone who appears powerful and we think that they hold some secret that we can't find.
We locate power "out there."
It is something that soemone else has - that someone else deserves. It is something that someone else can acquire. They gain wealth or authority. They get power. We are unsure how they got it. It seems like a bit of a mystery. But they have "it." Power is all about them.
The power seems to be located in their "thing." Maybe they have beauty. Maybe they have money. Maybe they have enormous strength. Maybe they have weapons and armies. Maybe they have allies in the right places. Maybe they hold a significant office - like mayor or president or Senator or principal or sherriff or judge or teacher...
Whatever it is, they have it. It's theirs. It is all about them.
We treat it like it is some kind of absolute thing. When you get it, you have it and you will be powerful. Forever.
By putting the idea of power inside another person, or their position, or their holdings, we make it seem like it is so much more than it really is. If power works - if you can control others - we say you have it. If it doesn't work, and others are able to do what they want, we say you don't have it- or that you don't have enough.
But to understand it we have to look beyond this old way of measuring the existence of power.
It is not the effect that determines the existence of power. One can have power and have it not work. One can be powerful but not effect the consequence they are looking for. Ask any cop or parent. Ask any politician. Ask any king. Ask any CEO.
Power is not the effect. It is the process we use. Power is a method of effecting choice. Nothing more but nothing less.
The target of this process is choice. The choice one makes to say do or think something. In the end those who want to have power and want to use power, are trying to impact the behaviour of others in some way. That is, in some way useful to them.
But the truth is that this process of effecting choice is not perfect. It is not absolute. The ability to make a choice never goes away. The powerful person may be able to create in you feelings of fear or anger or excitement. You may feel Control, Influence or Seduction. But you still can make a choice and if you make that choice without succumbing to those feelings, then the power did not work.
But it is still power.
Power is not absolute. Control is an illusion.
If you seem to have control it is simply that the person you targeted - the Subject - was somehow willing to allow you to affect their choice because you successfully made it appear to be in their best interests.
That is what power is about. It is a mechanical process that works on the person level. It is not some omni-present force field that comes with one's position or possessions.
Power is never perfect. Power is never absolute.
That is because choice never goes away.
So it does not surprise us to see that any domination of others comes to an end.
All empires have fallen. From the Sumarians to the Greeks to the Romans to the British to the Soviets to the American Empire. It is inevitable. Power is not absolute. Control is an illusion. People are ruled because they find it in their best interests to be ruled. People never lose choice. And when it appears that choice needs to be exercised, then power fails.
Control is an illusion. Power is not absolute because the target of all power is choice. And though choice can be controlled, influenced or seduced from time to time, in the end choice remains. It never goes away. And history has proven, over and over again, that ultimately, control fails. Power fails.
It is no less power because it failed.
Power is simply a response to the circumstances.
Life brings us circumstances from time to time. Situations in which we can make choices and effect what comes next. When we want a particular outcome we look at those circumstances and do what we think will get us what we want. Sometimes those circumstances include people. And we may need those people to do what we wish to get what we want. So we have turned to power. We have turned to trying to get those people to make choices to do or say or think something that will help us get what we are seeking.
That is the use of power. To accomplish our goal we use power to make people respond the way we want.
That is the only thing we really control - how we respond to what life brings us. And most of us control it badly.
This is what really powerful people do. They examine the circumstance and act in a way that gets people to respond the way they want.
Powerful people know control is an illusion. The only thing you control is how you respond to the circumstance before you. In knowing this they create an opportunity to use power.
In their response to the circumstance - in their attempt to use power - they control and focus their response - they try to focus their response on the Source of Power.
So on to Question Two...
What is the Source of Power?
The Source of Power is the Need within the Subject.
But for the Need, there is no Power.
Needs are experienced as Requirements, Desires, and Attachments.
Needs are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
We locate power "out there."
It is something that soemone else has - that someone else deserves. It is something that someone else can acquire. They gain wealth or authority. They get power. We are unsure how they got it. It seems like a bit of a mystery. But they have "it." Power is all about them.
The power seems to be located in their "thing." Maybe they have beauty. Maybe they have money. Maybe they have enormous strength. Maybe they have weapons and armies. Maybe they have allies in the right places. Maybe they hold a significant office - like mayor or president or Senator or principal or sherriff or judge or teacher...
Whatever it is, they have it. It's theirs. It is all about them.
We treat it like it is some kind of absolute thing. When you get it, you have it and you will be powerful. Forever.
By putting the idea of power inside another person, or their position, or their holdings, we make it seem like it is so much more than it really is. If power works - if you can control others - we say you have it. If it doesn't work, and others are able to do what they want, we say you don't have it- or that you don't have enough.
But to understand it we have to look beyond this old way of measuring the existence of power.
It is not the effect that determines the existence of power. One can have power and have it not work. One can be powerful but not effect the consequence they are looking for. Ask any cop or parent. Ask any politician. Ask any king. Ask any CEO.
Power is not the effect. It is the process we use. Power is a method of effecting choice. Nothing more but nothing less.
The target of this process is choice. The choice one makes to say do or think something. In the end those who want to have power and want to use power, are trying to impact the behaviour of others in some way. That is, in some way useful to them.
But the truth is that this process of effecting choice is not perfect. It is not absolute. The ability to make a choice never goes away. The powerful person may be able to create in you feelings of fear or anger or excitement. You may feel Control, Influence or Seduction. But you still can make a choice and if you make that choice without succumbing to those feelings, then the power did not work.
But it is still power.
Power is not absolute. Control is an illusion.
If you seem to have control it is simply that the person you targeted - the Subject - was somehow willing to allow you to affect their choice because you successfully made it appear to be in their best interests.
That is what power is about. It is a mechanical process that works on the person level. It is not some omni-present force field that comes with one's position or possessions.
Power is never perfect. Power is never absolute.
That is because choice never goes away.
So it does not surprise us to see that any domination of others comes to an end.
All empires have fallen. From the Sumarians to the Greeks to the Romans to the British to the Soviets to the American Empire. It is inevitable. Power is not absolute. Control is an illusion. People are ruled because they find it in their best interests to be ruled. People never lose choice. And when it appears that choice needs to be exercised, then power fails.
Control is an illusion. Power is not absolute because the target of all power is choice. And though choice can be controlled, influenced or seduced from time to time, in the end choice remains. It never goes away. And history has proven, over and over again, that ultimately, control fails. Power fails.
It is no less power because it failed.
Power is simply a response to the circumstances.
Life brings us circumstances from time to time. Situations in which we can make choices and effect what comes next. When we want a particular outcome we look at those circumstances and do what we think will get us what we want. Sometimes those circumstances include people. And we may need those people to do what we wish to get what we want. So we have turned to power. We have turned to trying to get those people to make choices to do or say or think something that will help us get what we are seeking.
That is the use of power. To accomplish our goal we use power to make people respond the way we want.
That is the only thing we really control - how we respond to what life brings us. And most of us control it badly.
This is what really powerful people do. They examine the circumstance and act in a way that gets people to respond the way they want.
Powerful people know control is an illusion. The only thing you control is how you respond to the circumstance before you. In knowing this they create an opportunity to use power.
In their response to the circumstance - in their attempt to use power - they control and focus their response - they try to focus their response on the Source of Power.
So on to Question Two...
What is the Source of Power?
The Source of Power is the Need within the Subject.
But for the Need, there is no Power.
Needs are experienced as Requirements, Desires, and Attachments.
Needs are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
The Seven Questions and Answers
When trying to learn about power it is hard to find a place to begin.
Our lives are hip-deep in power dynamics - there is no shortage of things we can talk about.
Events, news, relationships, work and play all seem to have power in them. Power dynamics spin around you like bees on clover. Round and round. Never ending. Always there. Not slow enough to get a real picture of what is happening. But never so fast that we lose sight of it. Control, Influence and Seduction - the dynamics of your relationships - Pushing, Pointing and Pulling you round and round. Frustrating and confusing. Never ending. No way to stop it long enough to get a good look...
Finding that first thing to get a handle on - to stop the spinning - now that's a tough one.
You can see the power. You can feel it even more. You see it in the way everyone treats you. And you see it in the way you treat others. You know it begins and ends somewhere but you can't find that break.
There must be a seam in this web of power you are caught it. But where is it?
I offer you the Seven Questions and Answers On Having Power.
Question One
Where do I start?
Start with Absolute Truth.
Control is an Illusion.
The only thing we control is how we respond to the circumstance before us.
If it is true for us, it is true for them.
What are they responding to?
They are responding to the Source of Power.
Our lives are hip-deep in power dynamics - there is no shortage of things we can talk about.
Events, news, relationships, work and play all seem to have power in them. Power dynamics spin around you like bees on clover. Round and round. Never ending. Always there. Not slow enough to get a real picture of what is happening. But never so fast that we lose sight of it. Control, Influence and Seduction - the dynamics of your relationships - Pushing, Pointing and Pulling you round and round. Frustrating and confusing. Never ending. No way to stop it long enough to get a good look...
Finding that first thing to get a handle on - to stop the spinning - now that's a tough one.
You can see the power. You can feel it even more. You see it in the way everyone treats you. And you see it in the way you treat others. You know it begins and ends somewhere but you can't find that break.
There must be a seam in this web of power you are caught it. But where is it?
I offer you the Seven Questions and Answers On Having Power.
Question One
Where do I start?
Start with Absolute Truth.
Control is an Illusion.
The only thing we control is how we respond to the circumstance before us.
If it is true for us, it is true for them.
What are they responding to?
They are responding to the Source of Power.
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