Power and Trust

So really what's so bad about using power to get what you want?

Why is it that so many see power as an evil or immoral thing?

Why are people afraid of power?

Why do they hold powerful people in disdain?

Why is it that inspite of this distain we still seek to mimic those with power?

Why is it that when I want to teach a course on power there is this natural mistrust?

Why is there this assumption that something sinister is afoot?

Why does the average person yearn for power, seek power, use power but ultimately hate power?

Why are the vast majority of relationships based in power?

Parent /Child
Teacher /Student
Employer/Employee
Politician/Citizen
Doctor/Patient
Clergy/Parishioner
Buyer/Seller
Unions/Management
Nations/Allies

These are relationships that are all about one getting from the other. They are about a sybiosis that is based on interdependence but usually disintegrates into some mild form of extortion.

Even those relationships not based in power cannot claim to be power free.

Man/Woman
Friend /Friend
Brothers/Sisters
Worker/Worker

Why do all relationships at one time or another involve power?

But then...

What is so bad about having power in these relationships anyway?

If I need to get what I need to get, and I can make someone else get it for me, well, why not?

If I have this need to fulfil my life purpose and other people, by necessity, are going to contribute to this, what is wrong with using power to get that contribution?

Well, then...

How do you feel when people use power over you?

Angry? Controlled? Manipulated? Coerced? Trapped? Tricked?

Angry. Real angry sometimes.

Why would we feel this way when we are the subject of a power dynamic?

Because deep inside we know that power is the exploitation of my needs for you to get what you want.

You use my desires, requirements and attachments to make me choose to do what you want me to do.

You use my weakness against me.

All relationships have a mutual benefit or there would be no relationship at all.

But if I reveal the benefit to me of my relationship with you, and then you use that as a means to get more from me than I would be willing to give, then you have violated the trust upon which we first created our connection.

We hate power because it exists within relationships that we want and need. And when it is used, it destroys the trust necessary to have the realtionship.

We are angry because the trust in the relationship, that trust that makes us comfortable and willing to be so engaged, is destroyed.

Power destroys trust.

Power destroys relationships.

We need relationships to fulfil our purpose.

But once we use power, all we have left is an ongoing power struggle. The relationship, partnership, connection is destroyed.

Is there another way?

Can we interact cooperatively without using power?

Although power may assist us in fulfilling our purpose, do we really need it? Is there not another way?

What is compassion?