We approach power like it is a magical skill of another person. We meet someone who appears powerful and we think that they hold some secret that we can't find.
We locate power "out there."
It is something that soemone else has - that someone else deserves. It is something that someone else can acquire. They gain wealth or authority. They get power. We are unsure how they got it. It seems like a bit of a mystery. But they have "it." Power is all about them.
The power seems to be located in their "thing." Maybe they have beauty. Maybe they have money. Maybe they have enormous strength. Maybe they have weapons and armies. Maybe they have allies in the right places. Maybe they hold a significant office - like mayor or president or Senator or principal or sherriff or judge or teacher...
Whatever it is, they have it. It's theirs. It is all about them.
We treat it like it is some kind of absolute thing. When you get it, you have it and you will be powerful. Forever.
By putting the idea of power inside another person, or their position, or their holdings, we make it seem like it is so much more than it really is. If power works - if you can control others - we say you have it. If it doesn't work, and others are able to do what they want, we say you don't have it- or that you don't have enough.
But to understand it we have to look beyond this old way of measuring the existence of power.
It is not the effect that determines the existence of power. One can have power and have it not work. One can be powerful but not effect the consequence they are looking for. Ask any cop or parent. Ask any politician. Ask any king. Ask any CEO.
Power is not the effect. It is the process we use. Power is a method of effecting choice. Nothing more but nothing less.
The target of this process is choice. The choice one makes to say do or think something. In the end those who want to have power and want to use power, are trying to impact the behaviour of others in some way. That is, in some way useful to them.
But the truth is that this process of effecting choice is not perfect. It is not absolute. The ability to make a choice never goes away. The powerful person may be able to create in you feelings of fear or anger or excitement. You may feel Control, Influence or Seduction. But you still can make a choice and if you make that choice without succumbing to those feelings, then the power did not work.
But it is still power.
Power is not absolute. Control is an illusion.
If you seem to have control it is simply that the person you targeted - the Subject - was somehow willing to allow you to affect their choice because you successfully made it appear to be in their best interests.
That is what power is about. It is a mechanical process that works on the person level. It is not some omni-present force field that comes with one's position or possessions.
Power is never perfect. Power is never absolute.
That is because choice never goes away.
So it does not surprise us to see that any domination of others comes to an end.
All empires have fallen. From the Sumarians to the Greeks to the Romans to the British to the Soviets to the American Empire. It is inevitable. Power is not absolute. Control is an illusion. People are ruled because they find it in their best interests to be ruled. People never lose choice. And when it appears that choice needs to be exercised, then power fails.
Control is an illusion. Power is not absolute because the target of all power is choice. And though choice can be controlled, influenced or seduced from time to time, in the end choice remains. It never goes away. And history has proven, over and over again, that ultimately, control fails. Power fails.
It is no less power because it failed.
Power is simply a response to the circumstances.
Life brings us circumstances from time to time. Situations in which we can make choices and effect what comes next. When we want a particular outcome we look at those circumstances and do what we think will get us what we want. Sometimes those circumstances include people. And we may need those people to do what we wish to get what we want. So we have turned to power. We have turned to trying to get those people to make choices to do or say or think something that will help us get what we are seeking.
That is the use of power. To accomplish our goal we use power to make people respond the way we want.
That is the only thing we really control - how we respond to what life brings us. And most of us control it badly.
This is what really powerful people do. They examine the circumstance and act in a way that gets people to respond the way they want.
Powerful people know control is an illusion. The only thing you control is how you respond to the circumstance before you. In knowing this they create an opportunity to use power.
In their response to the circumstance - in their attempt to use power - they control and focus their response - they try to focus their response on the Source of Power.
So on to Question Two...
What is the Source of Power?
The Source of Power is the Need within the Subject.
But for the Need, there is no Power.
Needs are experienced as Requirements, Desires, and Attachments.
Needs are Complex, Compounding and Competing.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Thursday, September 08, 2005
The Seven Questions and Answers
When trying to learn about power it is hard to find a place to begin.
Our lives are hip-deep in power dynamics - there is no shortage of things we can talk about.
Events, news, relationships, work and play all seem to have power in them. Power dynamics spin around you like bees on clover. Round and round. Never ending. Always there. Not slow enough to get a real picture of what is happening. But never so fast that we lose sight of it. Control, Influence and Seduction - the dynamics of your relationships - Pushing, Pointing and Pulling you round and round. Frustrating and confusing. Never ending. No way to stop it long enough to get a good look...
Finding that first thing to get a handle on - to stop the spinning - now that's a tough one.
You can see the power. You can feel it even more. You see it in the way everyone treats you. And you see it in the way you treat others. You know it begins and ends somewhere but you can't find that break.
There must be a seam in this web of power you are caught it. But where is it?
I offer you the Seven Questions and Answers On Having Power.
Question One
Where do I start?
Start with Absolute Truth.
Control is an Illusion.
The only thing we control is how we respond to the circumstance before us.
If it is true for us, it is true for them.
What are they responding to?
They are responding to the Source of Power.
Our lives are hip-deep in power dynamics - there is no shortage of things we can talk about.
Events, news, relationships, work and play all seem to have power in them. Power dynamics spin around you like bees on clover. Round and round. Never ending. Always there. Not slow enough to get a real picture of what is happening. But never so fast that we lose sight of it. Control, Influence and Seduction - the dynamics of your relationships - Pushing, Pointing and Pulling you round and round. Frustrating and confusing. Never ending. No way to stop it long enough to get a good look...
Finding that first thing to get a handle on - to stop the spinning - now that's a tough one.
You can see the power. You can feel it even more. You see it in the way everyone treats you. And you see it in the way you treat others. You know it begins and ends somewhere but you can't find that break.
There must be a seam in this web of power you are caught it. But where is it?
I offer you the Seven Questions and Answers On Having Power.
Question One
Where do I start?
Start with Absolute Truth.
Control is an Illusion.
The only thing we control is how we respond to the circumstance before us.
If it is true for us, it is true for them.
What are they responding to?
They are responding to the Source of Power.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Let's start at the beginning...
Introduction to Power
It's everywhere. It's in every relationship you have. It's in every interaction with other people. When it isn't being used you still are aware of its potential. You can see it. You can feel it. You are surrounded by it. You want it. Yet you want to avoid it. You are disgusted by it. But you are also enticed and seduced. You see the genius in it. You see the hope and promise. You see the corruption - the horror. You have read about it. You have looked at artwork that embodies it. You sing songs and listen to music about it. Every movie ever made is about it. Every book ever written is about the quest for it. History is the story of it. Almost everything people do is in someway a small attempt to fight it, or attain it.
Power - strength, sway, clout, influence, control, chi, might, puissance, supremacy, dominance, seduction, persuasion, might, say, potency - power.
It is the drive to create the self.
It is the hope to be more than everyone else.
It is the quest for power.
It has many faces and forms: wealth, resource, strength, weaponry, knowledge, ability, skill, friends, allies, authority, love, beauty, charisma, salvation, hope.
Each with the ability to affect the Choice one might make.
Those who have it, the powerful, use it to control, influence or seduce anyone who might serve their purpose. And they are never satisfied with how much they have. They desire more.
Those subject to it, the rest of us, resist, revolt and reject it as corrupt and detestable. Yet still wrestle and toil in the faint hope that we may acquire our own.
Everyone uses it when they can. It is the tool of more than dictators, tyrants and generals. Mothers use it with their children. Priests use it with their parishioners. Lovers use it with their suitors. Teachers use it with their students. CEOs use it with their employees. Presidents use it with their people.
We spend our days using power. Or seeking power. Or resisting power. Or avoiding power. It is in the very nature of our beings. We are obsessed and saturated.
We can use it and abuse it. But do we understand it?
Where does it come from?
How does it work?
What is it really? What is this dynamic of power?
You are probably just like everyone else reading this.
Your career moves forward but you are unsure how. It certainly does not move fast enough or in the direction you want.
Your relationships bring as much pain as they do happiness. Friendships, family ties and loving partnerships all reduce into power struggles.
Romance is more of a game than a source of fulfillment.
You are tired of feeling pushed and pulled and pointed in a thousand directions. Your life is controlled and influenced and seduced by so many forces and so many people. You have lost count. You are powerless. You are afraid. You are exhausted. You feel helpless. You feel frustrated. You are angry.
These are the feelings of Power.
Power is about Choice.
Power is about Needs and Abilities.
Power is about control, influence and seduction.
Power destroys trust.
These ideas, insights and methods are for you.
This is your course on having power.
It's everywhere. It's in every relationship you have. It's in every interaction with other people. When it isn't being used you still are aware of its potential. You can see it. You can feel it. You are surrounded by it. You want it. Yet you want to avoid it. You are disgusted by it. But you are also enticed and seduced. You see the genius in it. You see the hope and promise. You see the corruption - the horror. You have read about it. You have looked at artwork that embodies it. You sing songs and listen to music about it. Every movie ever made is about it. Every book ever written is about the quest for it. History is the story of it. Almost everything people do is in someway a small attempt to fight it, or attain it.
Power - strength, sway, clout, influence, control, chi, might, puissance, supremacy, dominance, seduction, persuasion, might, say, potency - power.
It is the drive to create the self.
It is the hope to be more than everyone else.
It is the quest for power.
It has many faces and forms: wealth, resource, strength, weaponry, knowledge, ability, skill, friends, allies, authority, love, beauty, charisma, salvation, hope.
Each with the ability to affect the Choice one might make.
Those who have it, the powerful, use it to control, influence or seduce anyone who might serve their purpose. And they are never satisfied with how much they have. They desire more.
Those subject to it, the rest of us, resist, revolt and reject it as corrupt and detestable. Yet still wrestle and toil in the faint hope that we may acquire our own.
Everyone uses it when they can. It is the tool of more than dictators, tyrants and generals. Mothers use it with their children. Priests use it with their parishioners. Lovers use it with their suitors. Teachers use it with their students. CEOs use it with their employees. Presidents use it with their people.
We spend our days using power. Or seeking power. Or resisting power. Or avoiding power. It is in the very nature of our beings. We are obsessed and saturated.
We can use it and abuse it. But do we understand it?
Where does it come from?
How does it work?
What is it really? What is this dynamic of power?
You are probably just like everyone else reading this.
Your career moves forward but you are unsure how. It certainly does not move fast enough or in the direction you want.
Your relationships bring as much pain as they do happiness. Friendships, family ties and loving partnerships all reduce into power struggles.
Romance is more of a game than a source of fulfillment.
You are tired of feeling pushed and pulled and pointed in a thousand directions. Your life is controlled and influenced and seduced by so many forces and so many people. You have lost count. You are powerless. You are afraid. You are exhausted. You feel helpless. You feel frustrated. You are angry.
These are the feelings of Power.
Power is about Choice.
Power is about Needs and Abilities.
Power is about control, influence and seduction.
Power destroys trust.
These ideas, insights and methods are for you.
This is your course on having power.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Now
Choice is something that happens in the now. So power exists only in the now.
In the instant the choice is made, you will know whether or not power has succeeded. You will know which power forces have been dominant. It is in the choice itself, that power comes to life.
It is in the now that power succeeds of fails.
The causes and conditions that lead to the now are limitless. You can not fathom the chain of events and all the subtlies that have created the moment you are in. There is no need to try.
The future and the past just illusions.
Control is an illusion. The only thing you control is what you do right now
And it is in this moment, this now, that you make a choice. Within the process of power, the now is the only thing that is real.
Somewhere in that process, some actor has decided to try to influence your choice in some way. And in doing so they have created a situation in which their ability gets applied to your need to try to stimulate in you feelings of control, influence or seduction.
These feelings motivate you to make a choice that will somehow assist the actor. Although those feelings can motivate by tapping into fear and excitement, and although you may feel pushed, pulled and pointed, the choice remains yours.
The moment of choice does not disappear. The choice itself does not disappear. And that choice is yours.
Power is planned for the future. It builds and rises and accelerates. It requires the future. The promise or threat of the future is what makes us willing to comply. But none of that is real yet. All that is real is the now. The moment of choice arrives. And in that moment power is felt. But it is not real. It is an illusion.
It is it's confinement to the now that makes power vulnerable.
If you can see the illusion of the promise or threat, if you can see the only truth in the present moment, if you can see the true power in the moment of choice, then power remains yours.
To control others is strength,
But to control yourself is true power.
LaoTzu
Tao Te Ching
In the instant the choice is made, you will know whether or not power has succeeded. You will know which power forces have been dominant. It is in the choice itself, that power comes to life.
It is in the now that power succeeds of fails.
The causes and conditions that lead to the now are limitless. You can not fathom the chain of events and all the subtlies that have created the moment you are in. There is no need to try.
The future and the past just illusions.
Control is an illusion. The only thing you control is what you do right now
And it is in this moment, this now, that you make a choice. Within the process of power, the now is the only thing that is real.
Somewhere in that process, some actor has decided to try to influence your choice in some way. And in doing so they have created a situation in which their ability gets applied to your need to try to stimulate in you feelings of control, influence or seduction.
These feelings motivate you to make a choice that will somehow assist the actor. Although those feelings can motivate by tapping into fear and excitement, and although you may feel pushed, pulled and pointed, the choice remains yours.
The moment of choice does not disappear. The choice itself does not disappear. And that choice is yours.
Power is planned for the future. It builds and rises and accelerates. It requires the future. The promise or threat of the future is what makes us willing to comply. But none of that is real yet. All that is real is the now. The moment of choice arrives. And in that moment power is felt. But it is not real. It is an illusion.
It is it's confinement to the now that makes power vulnerable.
If you can see the illusion of the promise or threat, if you can see the only truth in the present moment, if you can see the true power in the moment of choice, then power remains yours.
To control others is strength,
But to control yourself is true power.
LaoTzu
Tao Te Ching
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Gen "Y" Not?
Why not?
Really, why not?
The sense of powerlessness comes from being controlled and dismissed for too long.
It is true that many of our western institutions and structures are so well established that to even question them gets a reaction of harsh criticism. But that does not mean that we shouldn't question them.
You have been raised in a rich protected time. You have been given so much that you feel satiated. But in this process you have been controlled and you feel like there is no point in trying anything new. There is no value in stepping out of the box.
Everything I could want is in the box - why would I leave?
Because there is one thing that is missing - happiness.
You are not happy or you would not be running to IM's, PS2's, movies, music, sex, porn, drugs and drinks.
You think you are controlled and that any claim to change is pointless.
That is power. And the absolute truth of power is simple;
Control is an Illusion. The only thing you control is how you respond to the circumstance which is before you.
So respond.
You think that you can't make a difference so you walk away and get drunk. You go play a game. You go find someone you love and hide away having sex.
That is not responding. That is hiding. That is not living. You were born to live. Just like everyone before you. And everyone that will follow you.
Wake up! Control is an illusion.
So is your fear.
A smart man once encouraged the questioning of all things.
Not a politician. Not a rebel. Not a trouble maker. A spiritual teacher.
"Believe nothing merely because you have been told it...Or because it is traditional, or because you yourselves have imagined it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings--that's good doctrine. Believe it and cling to it, and take it as your guide." Siddhartha Gotama Buddha
The control you feel is an illusion.
There is more to be had.
You have power.
Accept it.
Deal with it.
Really, why not?
The sense of powerlessness comes from being controlled and dismissed for too long.
It is true that many of our western institutions and structures are so well established that to even question them gets a reaction of harsh criticism. But that does not mean that we shouldn't question them.
You have been raised in a rich protected time. You have been given so much that you feel satiated. But in this process you have been controlled and you feel like there is no point in trying anything new. There is no value in stepping out of the box.
Everything I could want is in the box - why would I leave?
Because there is one thing that is missing - happiness.
You are not happy or you would not be running to IM's, PS2's, movies, music, sex, porn, drugs and drinks.
You think you are controlled and that any claim to change is pointless.
That is power. And the absolute truth of power is simple;
Control is an Illusion. The only thing you control is how you respond to the circumstance which is before you.
So respond.
You think that you can't make a difference so you walk away and get drunk. You go play a game. You go find someone you love and hide away having sex.
That is not responding. That is hiding. That is not living. You were born to live. Just like everyone before you. And everyone that will follow you.
Wake up! Control is an illusion.
So is your fear.
A smart man once encouraged the questioning of all things.
Not a politician. Not a rebel. Not a trouble maker. A spiritual teacher.
"Believe nothing merely because you have been told it...Or because it is traditional, or because you yourselves have imagined it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings--that's good doctrine. Believe it and cling to it, and take it as your guide." Siddhartha Gotama Buddha
The control you feel is an illusion.
There is more to be had.
You have power.
Accept it.
Deal with it.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Gen "Y"... Bother?
Check out the link in the name of the post..
You asked...?
"Y" did you ask...?
Because deep within you there is hope and desire and you need to release it.
So here is my answer.
Y
I am Disengaged.
I want to be unique and understood.
Existing labels and world directions don't fit me. Our lives are defined for us and we wonder what we can do about it. We wonder- why try to do anything about?
Xbox and movies look so good. Better than my life. Unless, of course, I drop a little ecstacy...
Let Me Be Numb - I don't like to think about this crap.
Things in this world are bigger, better, hotter, faster, tastier, sexier and still not really enough to make me happy or motivate me to do anything about it.
Sound familiar.
AIDS, Terrorism, World Wide War, Globalization, New World Order
All things are in motion - corporations, governments, people with power - and there is nothing to be done about them. If there is something to be done about them, it needs to be done by someone else - maybe government. Maybe parents. Maybe God.
But what the hell can I do?
I am only one person... and me and my friends don't even talk about this stuff.
We talk all the time though. We have cell phones and four kinds of IM and text messages. We see each other in the morning by 8 and we stay in touch till we crash at midnight. Then get up and do it all again. We talk all the time about the same things over and over. Never about change, cause things don't change - do they? They have always been this way.
All that history shit is behind us. It's just history.
There are too many people who have control.
We are told to let other people worry about it. We are told to go to school - sports - dance clubs - whatever...as long as we stay out of the way. When we do stay out of the way, we get stuff - lots of stuff - tons of stuff - so much stuff I have no idea what I have...anyway - I have what I want and I hope nothing really horrible comes down. I couldn't handle it.
Really dude, why bother?
Because the world is no less yours than anyone elses and everybody up to this point has fucked it up good. It's your turn. :)
Difference is - you are probably smarter and have more resources than anyone before you. You could probably fix it if you really wanted to.
But you have forgotten that.
You have forgotten that you have as much power as anyone ever had. More really. But you don't see it.
But here it is.
Here is your course on having power.
Hope you do it better than those before you.
"Y" Bother?
Cause it's yours now - and you can't make it any worse can you?
You asked...?
"Y" did you ask...?
Because deep within you there is hope and desire and you need to release it.
So here is my answer.
Y
I am Disengaged.
I want to be unique and understood.
Existing labels and world directions don't fit me. Our lives are defined for us and we wonder what we can do about it. We wonder- why try to do anything about?
Xbox and movies look so good. Better than my life. Unless, of course, I drop a little ecstacy...
Let Me Be Numb - I don't like to think about this crap.
Things in this world are bigger, better, hotter, faster, tastier, sexier and still not really enough to make me happy or motivate me to do anything about it.
Sound familiar.
AIDS, Terrorism, World Wide War, Globalization, New World Order
All things are in motion - corporations, governments, people with power - and there is nothing to be done about them. If there is something to be done about them, it needs to be done by someone else - maybe government. Maybe parents. Maybe God.
But what the hell can I do?
I am only one person... and me and my friends don't even talk about this stuff.
We talk all the time though. We have cell phones and four kinds of IM and text messages. We see each other in the morning by 8 and we stay in touch till we crash at midnight. Then get up and do it all again. We talk all the time about the same things over and over. Never about change, cause things don't change - do they? They have always been this way.
All that history shit is behind us. It's just history.
There are too many people who have control.
We are told to let other people worry about it. We are told to go to school - sports - dance clubs - whatever...as long as we stay out of the way. When we do stay out of the way, we get stuff - lots of stuff - tons of stuff - so much stuff I have no idea what I have...anyway - I have what I want and I hope nothing really horrible comes down. I couldn't handle it.
Really dude, why bother?
Because the world is no less yours than anyone elses and everybody up to this point has fucked it up good. It's your turn. :)
Difference is - you are probably smarter and have more resources than anyone before you. You could probably fix it if you really wanted to.
But you have forgotten that.
You have forgotten that you have as much power as anyone ever had. More really. But you don't see it.
But here it is.
Here is your course on having power.
Hope you do it better than those before you.
"Y" Bother?
Cause it's yours now - and you can't make it any worse can you?
Friday, July 15, 2005
True Love
Click the title of this blog for quotes on true love...
How does power help us find true love?
It doesn't. In fact it leads us away from it.
I can't tell you what true love is.
I believe I have had it. Lived it. Revelled in it. Been crushed by it.
I think I would know it if I saw it.
True love isn't perfect or always pleasant... but it is true.
But to answer the question I don't think I need to be able to describe the mechanics of love. I don't even think that is possible. Love - true love - is that which is beyond this life - this physical experience. True love is that which permiates all beautiful, joyful things. It is ever present and available to come into our lives.
However this life is something that must be accepted and lived. It is to be learned and overcome. Available in this life is an abundance of love.
Also within this life there is an abundance of power relationships.
I do know power.
I know the source of all power is need.
I know we all need love. We seek it. We yearn for it. We fight to get it. We cling to it. We pine for it when it leaves. We require it. We desire it. And we are attached to it.
I know that the promise of true love - deep unlimited and unconditional love - love of the soul - love that goes beyond the here and now of this life - love that brings the ecstacy of the beyond - love that is the purest of connections - that love, is probably the greatest mechanism of power there is.
There is really nothing we want more than that kind of love.
The promise of that love will control, influence and seduce us like nothing else.
And we know it will have the same effect on others.
Power is the exploitation of another person's need to gain some advantage.
True love will take joy in the happiness of all people. Not just the happiness of the actor.
To use power to find true love, to use power to motivate others to help us find it or to give it to us, is like using a pin to find a balloon.
You know you found it when you have destroyed it.
Power destroys trust.
We would trust nothing more than true love. We trust no one more than those who truly love us.
Unfortunately, we seek true love without the ability to describe it unless we are looking at it. And we use power everyday, even in our most loving relationships.
I am sure we have all used power to pop the balloon of true love a few times without meaning to. And we have suffered the pain which follows.
I can offer two things I've learned.
First - sometimes we use power when we don't want to. This is just a bad habit that is hard to break. We need to be gentle and forgiving with others and ourselves. And just because someone used power on you doesn't mean they don't love you. It sounds paradoxical, but in that same use of power on you, they used it on themselves. They hurt themselves as much as they hurt you. That is hard to forgive.
Second - you can never have love if you chose to use power. True love requires true power.
True power is the complete self-control of your own needs so as to depower all others. It is the ability to see through the illusion of your needs and rise above. No one will have power over you because you do not have any need that you do not understand and have the ability to control. Because of this ability, not only will you never be a subject of power, but you will never act like an actor.
True power is the ability to be free of all power.
True love is not about needing someone. True love is to take joy in someone. Joy that sees and accepts and loves the weakness, flaws and failures of that other. It sees the beauty of the flaws and failures. It sees the struggle and the quest and the inability to attain perfection as the best reason to love perfectly. It holds the realization that loving them is never a cost to us. It is always a fulfillment. It is always good to love - even when it hurts.
True love and true power require the purest of compassion.
Then no matter what happens, no matter what we get, no matter how they love us back, all is joy.
Ya, easily said...
It's an incredible, intimidating, heart-breaking quest...
Compelling and fleeting...
But what else are we here for?
How does power help us find true love?
It doesn't. In fact it leads us away from it.
I can't tell you what true love is.
I believe I have had it. Lived it. Revelled in it. Been crushed by it.
I think I would know it if I saw it.
True love isn't perfect or always pleasant... but it is true.
But to answer the question I don't think I need to be able to describe the mechanics of love. I don't even think that is possible. Love - true love - is that which is beyond this life - this physical experience. True love is that which permiates all beautiful, joyful things. It is ever present and available to come into our lives.
However this life is something that must be accepted and lived. It is to be learned and overcome. Available in this life is an abundance of love.
Also within this life there is an abundance of power relationships.
I do know power.
I know the source of all power is need.
I know we all need love. We seek it. We yearn for it. We fight to get it. We cling to it. We pine for it when it leaves. We require it. We desire it. And we are attached to it.
I know that the promise of true love - deep unlimited and unconditional love - love of the soul - love that goes beyond the here and now of this life - love that brings the ecstacy of the beyond - love that is the purest of connections - that love, is probably the greatest mechanism of power there is.
There is really nothing we want more than that kind of love.
The promise of that love will control, influence and seduce us like nothing else.
And we know it will have the same effect on others.
Power is the exploitation of another person's need to gain some advantage.
True love will take joy in the happiness of all people. Not just the happiness of the actor.
To use power to find true love, to use power to motivate others to help us find it or to give it to us, is like using a pin to find a balloon.
You know you found it when you have destroyed it.
Power destroys trust.
We would trust nothing more than true love. We trust no one more than those who truly love us.
Unfortunately, we seek true love without the ability to describe it unless we are looking at it. And we use power everyday, even in our most loving relationships.
I am sure we have all used power to pop the balloon of true love a few times without meaning to. And we have suffered the pain which follows.
I can offer two things I've learned.
First - sometimes we use power when we don't want to. This is just a bad habit that is hard to break. We need to be gentle and forgiving with others and ourselves. And just because someone used power on you doesn't mean they don't love you. It sounds paradoxical, but in that same use of power on you, they used it on themselves. They hurt themselves as much as they hurt you. That is hard to forgive.
Second - you can never have love if you chose to use power. True love requires true power.
True power is the complete self-control of your own needs so as to depower all others. It is the ability to see through the illusion of your needs and rise above. No one will have power over you because you do not have any need that you do not understand and have the ability to control. Because of this ability, not only will you never be a subject of power, but you will never act like an actor.
True power is the ability to be free of all power.
True love is not about needing someone. True love is to take joy in someone. Joy that sees and accepts and loves the weakness, flaws and failures of that other. It sees the beauty of the flaws and failures. It sees the struggle and the quest and the inability to attain perfection as the best reason to love perfectly. It holds the realization that loving them is never a cost to us. It is always a fulfillment. It is always good to love - even when it hurts.
True love and true power require the purest of compassion.
Then no matter what happens, no matter what we get, no matter how they love us back, all is joy.
Ya, easily said...
It's an incredible, intimidating, heart-breaking quest...
Compelling and fleeting...
But what else are we here for?
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Are you there?
Consider it my need.
Consider it your power over me.
If you are reading this, please do two things.
First, post a short comment. Let me know you are there.
Second, if you see something here that is worth thinking about, share it with someone. Send this link to a friend that may benefit from thinking about power.
Cheers
Consider it your power over me.
If you are reading this, please do two things.
First, post a short comment. Let me know you are there.
Second, if you see something here that is worth thinking about, share it with someone. Send this link to a friend that may benefit from thinking about power.
Cheers
People Need People
The Source of Power is Need.
Overcome Need, and you overcome Power.
Living this however, is not so simple.
Sometimes we just need others.
A kind word. A loving embrace. Someone standing behind us just in case....
No one wants to be alone all the time.
No one can do everything for themselves.
No one can satisfy all of their needs by themselves.
It is good to control your needs. To be clear about what you really need.
Understanding that which is a requirement or a desire. Seeing how we are attached to people and ideas. Recognizing how how our attachments hurt us and create the suffering we live. This is a good start to overcoming power. It is how we will get power out of our relationships. It is how we find true love and compassion. It is how we live in peace.
However...
Needing others is real and necessary.
Yet it is not the needing that is wrong. It is the way we need. The way we insist on our needs. The way we are attached to our attachments.
Overcoming power is overcoming need. But that does not mean living as an insensitive hermit.
One can still hold a need and have overcome it.
People need people.
It is being too attached to just one or two that leads to pain.
People are wonderful.
Nothing comes to us except through other people.
But there are a good six billion out there to chose from.
Go crazy...
Overcome Need, and you overcome Power.
Living this however, is not so simple.
Sometimes we just need others.
A kind word. A loving embrace. Someone standing behind us just in case....
No one wants to be alone all the time.
No one can do everything for themselves.
No one can satisfy all of their needs by themselves.
It is good to control your needs. To be clear about what you really need.
Understanding that which is a requirement or a desire. Seeing how we are attached to people and ideas. Recognizing how how our attachments hurt us and create the suffering we live. This is a good start to overcoming power. It is how we will get power out of our relationships. It is how we find true love and compassion. It is how we live in peace.
However...
Needing others is real and necessary.
Yet it is not the needing that is wrong. It is the way we need. The way we insist on our needs. The way we are attached to our attachments.
Overcoming power is overcoming need. But that does not mean living as an insensitive hermit.
One can still hold a need and have overcome it.
People need people.
It is being too attached to just one or two that leads to pain.
People are wonderful.
Nothing comes to us except through other people.
But there are a good six billion out there to chose from.
Go crazy...
Friday, July 08, 2005
Fear and Terrorism
So on the day I decide to discuss fear, we have a terrorist attack in London.
Here is a power based analysis of Terrorism.
Terrorism is all about power.
Terror. Fear of a possible random imposition of pain or death resulting from an act of violence by a perceived enemy.
Terror can be used as a type of power interaction to affect the choices made by others.
Usually it is targeted at rulers or those with the ability to make decisions which affect the terror user. Therefore they can include heads of corporations.
Remember – power is personal. It is not abstract. It is about people by people.
However like any power dynamic, the power comes from the emotional response to a help or hinder ability on the part of the actor against the need of the subject. That help or hinder ability does not have to be actual and executed. It is sufficient if it is applied in degrees or not at all. It can be no more than a believable threat or promise.
And the help or hinder effect does not have to be direct to the subject. It may be applied to someone the subject is attached to or is competing with.
Therefore, terror can generate feelings of control, influence or seduction when it is nothing more than a credible threat to hurt the basic requirement of life in someone the subject cares about.
And we can care about those we do not know.
A politician has as great an obligation to care for those they do not know as they do to those they do know. Heads of corporations can care about many people whether or not they are shareholders or customers.
Along with the feelings of power, - control, influence and seduction, - there will be feelings of anger as well as feelings of fear. Fear is created when the power dynamic is anticipated.
Fear is a strong motivator. It focuses on Requirements. Those are the Needs which are about human survival and avoidance of pain. These are Needs we are compelled to satisfy without thought or intention. Our instincts and reflexes will typically be sufficient.
Hence we can understand why our immediate reaction to terrorism is with fear, violence and usually some small amount of compromise.
Terrorist. One who has the ability and willingness to impose a random act of violence resulting in pain or death of a targeted enemy. Typically we see them as the Actor in the power dynamic. They are ones who have decided to use power to get what they are looking for.
The BiPolar Nature of the power dynamic tells us that they are using power because they want something from the Subject. They want to have some control, influence or seduction over something the Subject may do, say or think. That is their need. That is their motivation to use power.
So we see terrorism as an act by an actor against the needs of us, the subjects, to get us to choose to do something differently and ultimately in their benefit.
Our need to be free of random acts of violence, our need for survival, our need for avoidance of pain, is the source of the power the terrorist has over us.
That something that they want from us – the reason they are using power – is our source of power over them. Their need is our source of power.
So what do they want and how can we use it?
Unfortunately we do not conduct this analysis. We stop thinking at the imposition of their violent act and respond with violence of our own. Thus we actually lose the opportunity to have power over them. We rely on their need for survival and avoidance of pain – direct or indirect – as means of creating power. Unfortunately, they are willing to lose their lives. They are willing to sacrifice for their real goal. They willingly suffer pain to get what they really want.
So what do they want?
A more important question is why don’t we spend time answering this question rather than responding with meaningless and ineffective violence of our own?
Our responsive violence is not working. In fact it obviously only makes it worse.
Terrorist Act. The imposition of random violence intended to create fear. Usually motivated by political, moral, cultural or financial goals on the part of the Actor.
The Bipolar nature of the power dynamic tells us that they want something. What is it that they want? They are motivated by moral, cultural, political and financial needs.
Of course those who are on the other side of this power dynamic see it differently. They don’t see themselves as the Actors. They see themselves as the Subjects. They are subjects responding to the power imposed upon them.
They say that foreign governments wanted to control their geography for military reasons. Foreign governments wanted to have free access to their resources at less than fair market value. They say that foreigners wanted to sell their goods in our markets without concern or care for our culture and heritage.
They say as a result of these wants of foreign governments and the willing greed of a few in their home land they have been subject to cultural decay, wars, revolutions, coups, immorality and non-democratic governments bought and installed by foreign powers.
They want this to end. They will use power if it is necessary.
Power is bipolar. Power is about needs and abilities and choices and feelings.
Terror doesn't just happen. It comes out of an already existing power dynamic.
When we start listening and respecting, the terror will end.
Isn't that obvious?
Here is a power based analysis of Terrorism.
Terrorism is all about power.
Terror. Fear of a possible random imposition of pain or death resulting from an act of violence by a perceived enemy.
Terror can be used as a type of power interaction to affect the choices made by others.
Usually it is targeted at rulers or those with the ability to make decisions which affect the terror user. Therefore they can include heads of corporations.
Remember – power is personal. It is not abstract. It is about people by people.
However like any power dynamic, the power comes from the emotional response to a help or hinder ability on the part of the actor against the need of the subject. That help or hinder ability does not have to be actual and executed. It is sufficient if it is applied in degrees or not at all. It can be no more than a believable threat or promise.
And the help or hinder effect does not have to be direct to the subject. It may be applied to someone the subject is attached to or is competing with.
Therefore, terror can generate feelings of control, influence or seduction when it is nothing more than a credible threat to hurt the basic requirement of life in someone the subject cares about.
And we can care about those we do not know.
A politician has as great an obligation to care for those they do not know as they do to those they do know. Heads of corporations can care about many people whether or not they are shareholders or customers.
Along with the feelings of power, - control, influence and seduction, - there will be feelings of anger as well as feelings of fear. Fear is created when the power dynamic is anticipated.
Fear is a strong motivator. It focuses on Requirements. Those are the Needs which are about human survival and avoidance of pain. These are Needs we are compelled to satisfy without thought or intention. Our instincts and reflexes will typically be sufficient.
Hence we can understand why our immediate reaction to terrorism is with fear, violence and usually some small amount of compromise.
Terrorist. One who has the ability and willingness to impose a random act of violence resulting in pain or death of a targeted enemy. Typically we see them as the Actor in the power dynamic. They are ones who have decided to use power to get what they are looking for.
The BiPolar Nature of the power dynamic tells us that they are using power because they want something from the Subject. They want to have some control, influence or seduction over something the Subject may do, say or think. That is their need. That is their motivation to use power.
So we see terrorism as an act by an actor against the needs of us, the subjects, to get us to choose to do something differently and ultimately in their benefit.
Our need to be free of random acts of violence, our need for survival, our need for avoidance of pain, is the source of the power the terrorist has over us.
That something that they want from us – the reason they are using power – is our source of power over them. Their need is our source of power.
So what do they want and how can we use it?
Unfortunately we do not conduct this analysis. We stop thinking at the imposition of their violent act and respond with violence of our own. Thus we actually lose the opportunity to have power over them. We rely on their need for survival and avoidance of pain – direct or indirect – as means of creating power. Unfortunately, they are willing to lose their lives. They are willing to sacrifice for their real goal. They willingly suffer pain to get what they really want.
So what do they want?
A more important question is why don’t we spend time answering this question rather than responding with meaningless and ineffective violence of our own?
Our responsive violence is not working. In fact it obviously only makes it worse.
Terrorist Act. The imposition of random violence intended to create fear. Usually motivated by political, moral, cultural or financial goals on the part of the Actor.
The Bipolar nature of the power dynamic tells us that they want something. What is it that they want? They are motivated by moral, cultural, political and financial needs.
Of course those who are on the other side of this power dynamic see it differently. They don’t see themselves as the Actors. They see themselves as the Subjects. They are subjects responding to the power imposed upon them.
They say that foreign governments wanted to control their geography for military reasons. Foreign governments wanted to have free access to their resources at less than fair market value. They say that foreigners wanted to sell their goods in our markets without concern or care for our culture and heritage.
They say as a result of these wants of foreign governments and the willing greed of a few in their home land they have been subject to cultural decay, wars, revolutions, coups, immorality and non-democratic governments bought and installed by foreign powers.
They want this to end. They will use power if it is necessary.
Power is bipolar. Power is about needs and abilities and choices and feelings.
Terror doesn't just happen. It comes out of an already existing power dynamic.
When we start listening and respecting, the terror will end.
Isn't that obvious?
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Fear, Time and Power
I want to thank Russell, Gunther and Lex for their feedback and questions. This post is generated by their thoughts.
Time is like a funnel. All things must pass through it. The opening is small and there are no other paths. If you want it to go faster it cannot. If you want it to go slower it cannot. No matter how much there is to go through, only so much can pass through at a time. When it is your turn to pass though, you have no option but to go as all the matter above you is pressing its way through. The future pushes the present into the past.
Time makes our typical experience of life linear. It is the thread that is followed. It restricts and limits the flow of our lives into a continuous stream of moments of Now.
Time is the context in which we experience needs.
Needs always exist. They rise and fall in their presence or priority in our mind, but they never go away. When one is fulfilled another follows in its place. We are constantly grasping and clinging and seeking and searching.
We experience our needs within the flow of time. Time forces us to prioritize our needs. We must answer the question – Which need is most important right now? Time not only forces us to, but facilitates our ability to, place our needs in an order or sequence of satisfaction. Living within the realm of time has taught us that. So much of our life is spent in the juggling of needs. The rest is spent in the addressing of needs.
Power uses needs.
Power is the exploitation of ones’ needs to motivate a favorable response. An actor uses the needs of a subject to get what they want. But the mere existence of needs is not enough to create power. There must be an ability on the part of the actor to help or hinder that need. This is a mechanism of power. The Actor uses a mechanism of power against a need to create an emotional state in the subject that requires resolution within that moment. That resolution the actor seeks is a response favorable to them. Power is created when a subject is forced to chose according to the wishes of the actor.
Power uses emotion.
The feelings of power are control, influence and seduction. The Push, the Point and the Pull. This is our experience when we are subject to power dynamics of others. These are the feeling we wish to generate when we use power ourselves.
These feelings of power are always accompanied by the feelings of motivation. Usually we will feel fear or anger or excitement when we are within a power dynamic. Often we will feel all three or a combination of two.
Anger is that feeling of encroachment. We are wanting something we cannot have. Someone is taking away our ability to chose what we want. Be it a desire, a requirement or an attachment, when we are subject to another’s ability to help or hinder the satisfaction of that need, we are usually angry. And usually it shows. It is a residual emotion because it is linked to one of the feelings of power. We are angry because we are being controlled or influenced or even seduced, into making choices we would not otherwise make.
Anger is the encroachment of the self by the will and ability of another.
It is a dangerous emotion and only useful if we use it as a marker of power dynamics. It is the sign that tells us power is happening.
Fear is the first of the anticipation feelings of power. The other is excitement. Fear is negative anticipation; excitement is positive anticipation. Fear usually creates feelings of control. Excitement usually creates feelings of seduction.
In that emotional state of fear, we can see the imminent failure of our wants and needs and we must react to keep it from happening. We expect that the actor will have the ability to hinder our needs, or help others attain their needs at a cost to us. We are afraid that our requirements of survival or avoidance of pain are at risk. We fear that our desires cannot be met, or will be restricted in their success by another person who is using their ability to impact that desire. We are concerned, in varying degrees, about those things, people and ideas to which we are attached. Fear is the awareness that our needs will be somehow compromised or hurt by the ability of the actor, so we prepare ourselves to be subjected to those feelings of control, influence and seduction.
Fear gets us ready to respond to power.
Fear is the anticipation of the encroachment of the self by the will and ability of another.
Excitement is the enjoyable feeling of anticipated power. It is the anticipation of getting something we require or desire or are attached to. It is the sense of impending satisfaction and pleasure. It is the awareness of coming closer to our dreams and wishes. It is the arousal of appetite and desire. It is the imminent satisfaction of the self. It is the knowledge that the actor has the ability to help us. It is the knowledge that the actor is about to satisfy our need.
However it is a conditional satisfaction. There will be a price. Excitement often overcomes the any sense of cost. That is exactly why excitement is motivating. Excitement overwhelms our rational self with its own desires.
Excitement is the anticipation of the fulfillment of the self by the will and ability of another.
Power uses time.
Anger, fear and excitement are the emotions of power which are triggered by time structures of our life
These are the emotions that when coupled with the limiting and demanding effects of time, force a response.
All we experience is a single moment at a time – the Now. In each of those moments are choices to make. The choices are being demanded by the circumstances and the events of those circumstances. A powerful person will respond to those circumstances by applying a mechanism against a need you are experiencing in that moment. Sometimes the need is already there and present in that circumstance. Sometimes that need is not part of the circumstance but is brought forward by the words or actions of the Actor. Whether the need is present or brought forward, the application of the mechanism to the need generates emotions in you. Usually it is a feeling of Control, Influence or Seduction and that feeling of power is accompanied by a feeling of motivation. Maybe fear, maybe anger or maybe excitement.
These feelings are pushed through the funnel of time by time. They must go through and they must be addressed.
Power is a recipe of Need, Ability, Time and Emotion. All brought together as a technique to satisfy the needs of the actor.
Power comes from the exploitation of need by an ability within a moment of time creating an emotion that motivates a choice.
And it is all an illusion.
Control is an illusion.
Fear is an illusion
Excitement is an illusion.
Anger is an erosion of the soul based on an illusion.
It is all illusion.
Choice never goes away.
Time will see to that.
For we only live a moment at a time. No one can really take away the moment. No one can really take away the choice.
Power is a very effective illusion. It only exists in the emotion of the moment.
Remember that fear, excitement and anger are emotions resulting from stimuli. They are feelings. And like all of power they are not real. All of this is amplified and stirred by the flow of time. Less time results in more power. More time results in less power. The more the time allowed the more likely we will find another option or overcome the pressing nature of the need. With time we can recognize power and address it.
That is why the method requires a pause, a step back, a detachment from the immediate and an analysis of the dynamic.
Conquer the emotion so that you can conquer the need. In that act of will and self control, free choice is revived and power is defeated.
Time is like a funnel. All things must pass through it. The opening is small and there are no other paths. If you want it to go faster it cannot. If you want it to go slower it cannot. No matter how much there is to go through, only so much can pass through at a time. When it is your turn to pass though, you have no option but to go as all the matter above you is pressing its way through. The future pushes the present into the past.
Time makes our typical experience of life linear. It is the thread that is followed. It restricts and limits the flow of our lives into a continuous stream of moments of Now.
Time is the context in which we experience needs.
Needs always exist. They rise and fall in their presence or priority in our mind, but they never go away. When one is fulfilled another follows in its place. We are constantly grasping and clinging and seeking and searching.
We experience our needs within the flow of time. Time forces us to prioritize our needs. We must answer the question – Which need is most important right now? Time not only forces us to, but facilitates our ability to, place our needs in an order or sequence of satisfaction. Living within the realm of time has taught us that. So much of our life is spent in the juggling of needs. The rest is spent in the addressing of needs.
Power uses needs.
Power is the exploitation of ones’ needs to motivate a favorable response. An actor uses the needs of a subject to get what they want. But the mere existence of needs is not enough to create power. There must be an ability on the part of the actor to help or hinder that need. This is a mechanism of power. The Actor uses a mechanism of power against a need to create an emotional state in the subject that requires resolution within that moment. That resolution the actor seeks is a response favorable to them. Power is created when a subject is forced to chose according to the wishes of the actor.
Power uses emotion.
The feelings of power are control, influence and seduction. The Push, the Point and the Pull. This is our experience when we are subject to power dynamics of others. These are the feeling we wish to generate when we use power ourselves.
These feelings of power are always accompanied by the feelings of motivation. Usually we will feel fear or anger or excitement when we are within a power dynamic. Often we will feel all three or a combination of two.
Anger is that feeling of encroachment. We are wanting something we cannot have. Someone is taking away our ability to chose what we want. Be it a desire, a requirement or an attachment, when we are subject to another’s ability to help or hinder the satisfaction of that need, we are usually angry. And usually it shows. It is a residual emotion because it is linked to one of the feelings of power. We are angry because we are being controlled or influenced or even seduced, into making choices we would not otherwise make.
Anger is the encroachment of the self by the will and ability of another.
It is a dangerous emotion and only useful if we use it as a marker of power dynamics. It is the sign that tells us power is happening.
Fear is the first of the anticipation feelings of power. The other is excitement. Fear is negative anticipation; excitement is positive anticipation. Fear usually creates feelings of control. Excitement usually creates feelings of seduction.
In that emotional state of fear, we can see the imminent failure of our wants and needs and we must react to keep it from happening. We expect that the actor will have the ability to hinder our needs, or help others attain their needs at a cost to us. We are afraid that our requirements of survival or avoidance of pain are at risk. We fear that our desires cannot be met, or will be restricted in their success by another person who is using their ability to impact that desire. We are concerned, in varying degrees, about those things, people and ideas to which we are attached. Fear is the awareness that our needs will be somehow compromised or hurt by the ability of the actor, so we prepare ourselves to be subjected to those feelings of control, influence and seduction.
Fear gets us ready to respond to power.
Fear is the anticipation of the encroachment of the self by the will and ability of another.
Excitement is the enjoyable feeling of anticipated power. It is the anticipation of getting something we require or desire or are attached to. It is the sense of impending satisfaction and pleasure. It is the awareness of coming closer to our dreams and wishes. It is the arousal of appetite and desire. It is the imminent satisfaction of the self. It is the knowledge that the actor has the ability to help us. It is the knowledge that the actor is about to satisfy our need.
However it is a conditional satisfaction. There will be a price. Excitement often overcomes the any sense of cost. That is exactly why excitement is motivating. Excitement overwhelms our rational self with its own desires.
Excitement is the anticipation of the fulfillment of the self by the will and ability of another.
Power uses time.
Anger, fear and excitement are the emotions of power which are triggered by time structures of our life
These are the emotions that when coupled with the limiting and demanding effects of time, force a response.
All we experience is a single moment at a time – the Now. In each of those moments are choices to make. The choices are being demanded by the circumstances and the events of those circumstances. A powerful person will respond to those circumstances by applying a mechanism against a need you are experiencing in that moment. Sometimes the need is already there and present in that circumstance. Sometimes that need is not part of the circumstance but is brought forward by the words or actions of the Actor. Whether the need is present or brought forward, the application of the mechanism to the need generates emotions in you. Usually it is a feeling of Control, Influence or Seduction and that feeling of power is accompanied by a feeling of motivation. Maybe fear, maybe anger or maybe excitement.
These feelings are pushed through the funnel of time by time. They must go through and they must be addressed.
Power is a recipe of Need, Ability, Time and Emotion. All brought together as a technique to satisfy the needs of the actor.
Power comes from the exploitation of need by an ability within a moment of time creating an emotion that motivates a choice.
And it is all an illusion.
Control is an illusion.
Fear is an illusion
Excitement is an illusion.
Anger is an erosion of the soul based on an illusion.
It is all illusion.
Choice never goes away.
Time will see to that.
For we only live a moment at a time. No one can really take away the moment. No one can really take away the choice.
Power is a very effective illusion. It only exists in the emotion of the moment.
Remember that fear, excitement and anger are emotions resulting from stimuli. They are feelings. And like all of power they are not real. All of this is amplified and stirred by the flow of time. Less time results in more power. More time results in less power. The more the time allowed the more likely we will find another option or overcome the pressing nature of the need. With time we can recognize power and address it.
That is why the method requires a pause, a step back, a detachment from the immediate and an analysis of the dynamic.
Conquer the emotion so that you can conquer the need. In that act of will and self control, free choice is revived and power is defeated.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Children
Although they are only learning, children tend to be the best at power plays.
I suppose if you were raised by parents who spent most of their time negotiating with you to do what they wanted you to do, you would learn power well. And that is what parents do.
If you want to learn about the basics of power, watch children. They are not very good at masking their efforts. The power dynamics they implement are often transparent. But it is truely a basic course in power.
They are very aware of what they want. They pursue what they want knowing your role in attaining it. They also know your needs. They know the buttons to push.
Right now my son wants to go out and play soccer. I am trying to write.
Although I use my authority and say, "Go out and play." He keeps coming back in. He knows that he is getting to me. He knows that I want to be a good Dad. He doesn't have to just keep asking me. He doesn't have to disturb me.
He just has to say, "Dad, don't you want to play with your son?"
Now I'm cooked. My son knows more about power than me.....
See you later.
I suppose if you were raised by parents who spent most of their time negotiating with you to do what they wanted you to do, you would learn power well. And that is what parents do.
If you want to learn about the basics of power, watch children. They are not very good at masking their efforts. The power dynamics they implement are often transparent. But it is truely a basic course in power.
They are very aware of what they want. They pursue what they want knowing your role in attaining it. They also know your needs. They know the buttons to push.
Right now my son wants to go out and play soccer. I am trying to write.
Although I use my authority and say, "Go out and play." He keeps coming back in. He knows that he is getting to me. He knows that I want to be a good Dad. He doesn't have to just keep asking me. He doesn't have to disturb me.
He just has to say, "Dad, don't you want to play with your son?"
Now I'm cooked. My son knows more about power than me.....
See you later.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Rights and Power
This is huge.
However it is complicated. Like multiple- step power dynamics in which the needs and dynamics are complex and competing, the idea of rights are protected by a web of power dynamics.
There are those who define rights as something given and protected by a government. We are somehow beholding to our governors as they have the ability to determmine what our rights will be from time to time. This is the underlying premise in the present versions of anti-terrorist legislation. This inherently means that a right is something given and therefore can, in particular circumstances, be taken away.
There are others who believe that a right is something one possesses from birth, by virtue of their birth, and flows from natural law or god's law. Like hair color, or height, like fingers and toes, it is an attribute of being human. From the moment of birth we have rights. More importantly, they believe that from the moment of birth their value as a human being is equal to any one else's. And that value and right are to be protected by all.
How can one claim to have a right if they are unwilling to protect the rights of others? How can something be a right if it is not a right to all? If it is not an entitlement of all, then it is simply a priviledge. And priviledges come and go. They are subject to the will of others.
Rights are rights and they have nothing to do with government.
Rights are therefore inalienable. You can never loose them. And certainly no other human being has the power to say whether or not you are entitled to your's. Simply they can not be taken away. Unless you let them. And the only reason you would let them is becusase you have a need they can help you with. That is power.
Oh, we have many reasons to think it is acceptable to take them away. Today we justify that infringement on the basis of protection.
That's what the king of England said when people wanted rights in the new world. "I need to tax you to take care of you. So you need to be subject to my will though I am across the ocean."
Paternalistic. Patronizing. And just plain false.
So a group of american settlers said - "No."
A war was fought. People died. Freedom won.
And those great humble souls wrote a document to ensure that this would never happen again.
Now the leaders of that nation are being paternalistic, patronizing and false.
Those rights are being taken away on the premise that somehow they were given.
The first real land of freedom and rights is the place where they are being taken away.
Enough people agree because they have been scared. Fear. The requirement of survival is a powerful need to tap into. It is very motivating. And those who can use it by having mechanisms to help or hinder it ( like armies, police, jails and courts) are able to exert a significant degree of control, influence and seduction.
They will point at people like me and say I am the reason we can't properly protect the people. I am trying to protect rights and remove power. But they want their power. They want to control you. There is a bigger picture here most people don't see. This is because they have successfully triggered the need and offered a mechanism.
They refuse to ask why we are being threatened. Until that question is asked and answered honestly, there will be the steady erosion of rights here in the land of the free.
To control the questions being asked is a significant mechanism. Information is the ultimate mechanism. For whatever we do, we do it for reasons. The ability to reason is based on information. False information will change what you do. It will change what you think you should do.
We are threatened because we have intruded into the rights of others in other lands. They do not want our culture any more than we want theirs.
But we want their markets because there is more money to be made. We want their resources because that is how we make money. Those with money want more money. It is another incredible mechanism of power. It can be used to control influence and seduce. People love power.
Money buys advertising. Advertising controls information. Information is what we use to cast a vote. Those who have the money can get those who want votes, to do anything. They need more money. They need foreign markets and resources to get it. They need votes and those with money can use that ability to influence to gain the votes.
Needs and abilities. This is the core of power. This is how power comes to life.
You have a right to truth. You have a right to be governed as little as posible. You have the right to act, think and speak as you see fit. And you have the right and responsibility to make sure everyone enjoys that right.
We have empowered government. They are entrusted to protect our rights. We gave them the authority. Authority is nothing but power by consent. We need to have people to protect our rights. We need people to make rules for our way of life so we might all get along in a safe predictable environment. We need this. So we give the ability to elected officials.
This is a mammoth duty. A duty that people should see as intimidating and onerous. One people should be afraid of.
However, they see it as an opportunity. They see it as something to pursue. Our culture, though founded in the protection of rights, has turned into nothing more than the pursuit of power. No longer is it the pursuit of happiness for all. In fact, we think we can take peoples' god given rights away to make sure some of us get to have our happiness in whatever way we want.
Rights are a good reason to create government. It is a good idea to make it their duty to protect them. We need that task cared for. Never did we intend for government - power by consent - to conceive that they had the ability to take rights away.
We are no longer the land of the free. But will we be the home of the brave? Will we stand up and say a right is a right. Hey you governors - you are just men who want to take those rights away. I don't care why you think you can take them away. I don't care that you can force this on me. There have been evil rulers before. There will be again. We must stand up to people like you. I have learned this lesson before - the hard way.
We are not another version of the Roman, Greek, or Chinese empires. We are the people who believe in rights as god given. We are the people you may call names and try to marginalize. We are the people you may harrass. But we are the people who won't go away. We didn't go away in 1776. We aren't going away today.
I am not liberal, conservative, communist or anarchist. I am a freedom-ist. I believe in the rights we have from birth. I believe power is the only true threat to freedom and our rights as humans.
We gave you the power to take care of our needs. If you are going to use those needs as a means to lie to us, manipulate us, control us, then you do not deserve the power we gave you.
Needs and abilities.
We still need them to take care of our rights. They still need us to cooperate and do as we are told.
Needs and abilties. We have power too.
However it is complicated. Like multiple- step power dynamics in which the needs and dynamics are complex and competing, the idea of rights are protected by a web of power dynamics.
There are those who define rights as something given and protected by a government. We are somehow beholding to our governors as they have the ability to determmine what our rights will be from time to time. This is the underlying premise in the present versions of anti-terrorist legislation. This inherently means that a right is something given and therefore can, in particular circumstances, be taken away.
There are others who believe that a right is something one possesses from birth, by virtue of their birth, and flows from natural law or god's law. Like hair color, or height, like fingers and toes, it is an attribute of being human. From the moment of birth we have rights. More importantly, they believe that from the moment of birth their value as a human being is equal to any one else's. And that value and right are to be protected by all.
How can one claim to have a right if they are unwilling to protect the rights of others? How can something be a right if it is not a right to all? If it is not an entitlement of all, then it is simply a priviledge. And priviledges come and go. They are subject to the will of others.
Rights are rights and they have nothing to do with government.
Rights are therefore inalienable. You can never loose them. And certainly no other human being has the power to say whether or not you are entitled to your's. Simply they can not be taken away. Unless you let them. And the only reason you would let them is becusase you have a need they can help you with. That is power.
Oh, we have many reasons to think it is acceptable to take them away. Today we justify that infringement on the basis of protection.
That's what the king of England said when people wanted rights in the new world. "I need to tax you to take care of you. So you need to be subject to my will though I am across the ocean."
Paternalistic. Patronizing. And just plain false.
So a group of american settlers said - "No."
A war was fought. People died. Freedom won.
And those great humble souls wrote a document to ensure that this would never happen again.
Now the leaders of that nation are being paternalistic, patronizing and false.
Those rights are being taken away on the premise that somehow they were given.
The first real land of freedom and rights is the place where they are being taken away.
Enough people agree because they have been scared. Fear. The requirement of survival is a powerful need to tap into. It is very motivating. And those who can use it by having mechanisms to help or hinder it ( like armies, police, jails and courts) are able to exert a significant degree of control, influence and seduction.
They will point at people like me and say I am the reason we can't properly protect the people. I am trying to protect rights and remove power. But they want their power. They want to control you. There is a bigger picture here most people don't see. This is because they have successfully triggered the need and offered a mechanism.
They refuse to ask why we are being threatened. Until that question is asked and answered honestly, there will be the steady erosion of rights here in the land of the free.
To control the questions being asked is a significant mechanism. Information is the ultimate mechanism. For whatever we do, we do it for reasons. The ability to reason is based on information. False information will change what you do. It will change what you think you should do.
We are threatened because we have intruded into the rights of others in other lands. They do not want our culture any more than we want theirs.
But we want their markets because there is more money to be made. We want their resources because that is how we make money. Those with money want more money. It is another incredible mechanism of power. It can be used to control influence and seduce. People love power.
Money buys advertising. Advertising controls information. Information is what we use to cast a vote. Those who have the money can get those who want votes, to do anything. They need more money. They need foreign markets and resources to get it. They need votes and those with money can use that ability to influence to gain the votes.
Needs and abilities. This is the core of power. This is how power comes to life.
You have a right to truth. You have a right to be governed as little as posible. You have the right to act, think and speak as you see fit. And you have the right and responsibility to make sure everyone enjoys that right.
We have empowered government. They are entrusted to protect our rights. We gave them the authority. Authority is nothing but power by consent. We need to have people to protect our rights. We need people to make rules for our way of life so we might all get along in a safe predictable environment. We need this. So we give the ability to elected officials.
This is a mammoth duty. A duty that people should see as intimidating and onerous. One people should be afraid of.
However, they see it as an opportunity. They see it as something to pursue. Our culture, though founded in the protection of rights, has turned into nothing more than the pursuit of power. No longer is it the pursuit of happiness for all. In fact, we think we can take peoples' god given rights away to make sure some of us get to have our happiness in whatever way we want.
Rights are a good reason to create government. It is a good idea to make it their duty to protect them. We need that task cared for. Never did we intend for government - power by consent - to conceive that they had the ability to take rights away.
We are no longer the land of the free. But will we be the home of the brave? Will we stand up and say a right is a right. Hey you governors - you are just men who want to take those rights away. I don't care why you think you can take them away. I don't care that you can force this on me. There have been evil rulers before. There will be again. We must stand up to people like you. I have learned this lesson before - the hard way.
We are not another version of the Roman, Greek, or Chinese empires. We are the people who believe in rights as god given. We are the people you may call names and try to marginalize. We are the people you may harrass. But we are the people who won't go away. We didn't go away in 1776. We aren't going away today.
I am not liberal, conservative, communist or anarchist. I am a freedom-ist. I believe in the rights we have from birth. I believe power is the only true threat to freedom and our rights as humans.
We gave you the power to take care of our needs. If you are going to use those needs as a means to lie to us, manipulate us, control us, then you do not deserve the power we gave you.
Needs and abilities.
We still need them to take care of our rights. They still need us to cooperate and do as we are told.
Needs and abilties. We have power too.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Depowerment II
It's been a while. Sorry.
Check this out.
Ipsos Reid Polls are always fun. They show attitudes useful to business. But sometimes they show attitudes useful to understanding power.
This one in particular.
A Public Opinion Survey Of Canadians And Americans About China
An Ipsos-Reid Report Prepared For The Canada Institute of the Washington D.C. based Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars And The Toronto Based Canada Institute on North American Issues (CHINA)
June 10, 2005
Anxiety about China?s emergence as a superpower is unsettling to many in North America. Fifty-four percent of Americans and 40% of Canadians agree ?the emergence of China as a superpower is a threat to world peace?. And most Americans (54%) and many Canadians (45%) are concerned about the level of Chinese investment in their country.
Funny how when we are the ones with the power, we seem to think that corruption is a myth. But see power shifting into the hands of others and we start to question the morality of the powerful.
It is when you are subject to power, that you can understand it.
How does it feel to know that about 1/3 of the worlds population is about to enter the free market?
We have kept them at bay for 60 years.
We complained that they would not participate in our world market place. We told them they were bad. They were godless. They were evil. We told them that were not welcome at the table. We told everyone that because they refused to come to the market with the rest of the world that we should fear them. Now that they want to come to our party, we are told that we should fear them.
There is nothing to fear. Except that we will no longer be the biggest kid on the block.
Hmmm...The power of information. Who is spreading these lies?
They already supply more goods into the marketplace than any other manufacturer. They already account for a significant portion of the world's labor. If you shop at Walmart - and I know you do - you already have dozens, if not hundreds of goods in your home made in China.
We have been partnering in business with them for more than 25 years.
However, we have been buying from them. And if they start to buy, they will not be buying from us. They will be buying from themselves. And that means that the value of their cheap labor and starving markets, will remain in China to benefit the Chinese people. And we don't like that.
The power comes from need.
Ten years ago, China needed money. More than a billion people. Huge government costs. Health care alone was bankrupting them. The only way that money would come was if Americans used their incredibly cheap labor. And the North American CEO's thought it was great. And they used it. China allowed changes in their communism to facilitate American business exploitation. So we jumped all over it. We were happy to have cheaper goods.
All the while knowing that eventually the flow would change. All the while knowing that when enough of the money flowed into China the people would start to buy goods. All the while knowing that by moving manufacturing to China we were changing the market forever. All the while knowing that they had to make their wealth soon because once the flow shifted, we would be in trouble.
Greedy? Short-sighted? Sure, most power users are greedy and short-sighted.
We used their need to satisfy our need. Profits were dwindling. We needed to increase profitability to combat the rising cost of North American labor. We were at a time that saw large corporations having to face the law. Having to face the power of the labor unions. No more cheap labor. No more exploitation on the basis of race or gender. A day's work was worth a day's pay.
Moreover, unless taxes decreased the people would have no money to spend. We had to cut government and pay more. Even then, foreign markets were growing and we were shrinking.
In truth, we needed them. All power dynamics are bipolar in nature. You just need to look for the needs and abilities and you can see how it works. They needed money. We needed cheaper labor.
Now we have created a business model that requires Asian labor. We have created unsustainable markets. We need their labor. Our need has not gone away.
However, now they don't need our money. Nor do they need our products. The fact is, we are afraid that they don't need us at all. If they don't need us, they have the power.
In the past, when people haven't needed us any more, we have used our army to remind them that we are in charge.
Not long ago the oil of the middle east created enough money that they could say to us, "We don't need your money anymore. We don't want your culture or your interference. And if you want our oil you will pay."
Prior to their wealth, they needed our money. We needed their oil.
Now they don't need our money and we need their oil more than ever. They have the power because we have the most pressing need.
We were lucky however. We had the richest and best equipped army in the history of the world. So we went and took the oil. Their need for survival and peace was greater. We took power.
China is no Iraq. China is no little country. They have quite an army. They have the ability to win at war.
So now, for the first time in a century, we are scared. And we should be. We have been a manipulative bully for too long.
Power destroys trust. We have used power for a century. We have destroyed almost all the trust anyone ever had for us.
Power dynamics never end. Once we have no trust there is nothing left but power.
So we are scared. Bloody scared. Whether we can articulate power dynamics or not, we innately know them and understand them. We know when they are coming. We know that these coming power dynamics won't be so easily won. If fact we may lose. We are afraid that all we have left is power and it will be inadequate.
We should be afraid. We should all be afraid. In the past when North American businessmen are about to lose power (and their money) they send young men to war. And this is a war we will lose.
Is this going to end in war?
We still have depowerment.
Would we need our army in the middle east if we took the 150 Billion Dollars we spent on that never ending war on the development of renewable power sources like wind and sun?
We could have depowered the countries of the middle east by taking control of our own needs. By eliminating our need for oil we could have eliminated the need for a war. They would have no power because they would have no ability we needed. Their only mechanism - oil - would become impotent.
But we chose war.
Now, as we sit in fear of the inevitable domination of the world marketplace by China, do we have to consider war and manipulation or can we depower our needs and find a new way?
Check this out.
Ipsos Reid Polls are always fun. They show attitudes useful to business. But sometimes they show attitudes useful to understanding power.
This one in particular.
A Public Opinion Survey Of Canadians And Americans About China
An Ipsos-Reid Report Prepared For The Canada Institute of the Washington D.C. based Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars And The Toronto Based Canada Institute on North American Issues (CHINA)
June 10, 2005
Anxiety about China?s emergence as a superpower is unsettling to many in North America. Fifty-four percent of Americans and 40% of Canadians agree ?the emergence of China as a superpower is a threat to world peace?. And most Americans (54%) and many Canadians (45%) are concerned about the level of Chinese investment in their country.
Funny how when we are the ones with the power, we seem to think that corruption is a myth. But see power shifting into the hands of others and we start to question the morality of the powerful.
It is when you are subject to power, that you can understand it.
How does it feel to know that about 1/3 of the worlds population is about to enter the free market?
We have kept them at bay for 60 years.
We complained that they would not participate in our world market place. We told them they were bad. They were godless. They were evil. We told them that were not welcome at the table. We told everyone that because they refused to come to the market with the rest of the world that we should fear them. Now that they want to come to our party, we are told that we should fear them.
There is nothing to fear. Except that we will no longer be the biggest kid on the block.
Hmmm...The power of information. Who is spreading these lies?
They already supply more goods into the marketplace than any other manufacturer. They already account for a significant portion of the world's labor. If you shop at Walmart - and I know you do - you already have dozens, if not hundreds of goods in your home made in China.
We have been partnering in business with them for more than 25 years.
However, we have been buying from them. And if they start to buy, they will not be buying from us. They will be buying from themselves. And that means that the value of their cheap labor and starving markets, will remain in China to benefit the Chinese people. And we don't like that.
The power comes from need.
Ten years ago, China needed money. More than a billion people. Huge government costs. Health care alone was bankrupting them. The only way that money would come was if Americans used their incredibly cheap labor. And the North American CEO's thought it was great. And they used it. China allowed changes in their communism to facilitate American business exploitation. So we jumped all over it. We were happy to have cheaper goods.
All the while knowing that eventually the flow would change. All the while knowing that when enough of the money flowed into China the people would start to buy goods. All the while knowing that by moving manufacturing to China we were changing the market forever. All the while knowing that they had to make their wealth soon because once the flow shifted, we would be in trouble.
Greedy? Short-sighted? Sure, most power users are greedy and short-sighted.
We used their need to satisfy our need. Profits were dwindling. We needed to increase profitability to combat the rising cost of North American labor. We were at a time that saw large corporations having to face the law. Having to face the power of the labor unions. No more cheap labor. No more exploitation on the basis of race or gender. A day's work was worth a day's pay.
Moreover, unless taxes decreased the people would have no money to spend. We had to cut government and pay more. Even then, foreign markets were growing and we were shrinking.
In truth, we needed them. All power dynamics are bipolar in nature. You just need to look for the needs and abilities and you can see how it works. They needed money. We needed cheaper labor.
Now we have created a business model that requires Asian labor. We have created unsustainable markets. We need their labor. Our need has not gone away.
However, now they don't need our money. Nor do they need our products. The fact is, we are afraid that they don't need us at all. If they don't need us, they have the power.
In the past, when people haven't needed us any more, we have used our army to remind them that we are in charge.
Not long ago the oil of the middle east created enough money that they could say to us, "We don't need your money anymore. We don't want your culture or your interference. And if you want our oil you will pay."
Prior to their wealth, they needed our money. We needed their oil.
Now they don't need our money and we need their oil more than ever. They have the power because we have the most pressing need.
We were lucky however. We had the richest and best equipped army in the history of the world. So we went and took the oil. Their need for survival and peace was greater. We took power.
China is no Iraq. China is no little country. They have quite an army. They have the ability to win at war.
So now, for the first time in a century, we are scared. And we should be. We have been a manipulative bully for too long.
Power destroys trust. We have used power for a century. We have destroyed almost all the trust anyone ever had for us.
Power dynamics never end. Once we have no trust there is nothing left but power.
So we are scared. Bloody scared. Whether we can articulate power dynamics or not, we innately know them and understand them. We know when they are coming. We know that these coming power dynamics won't be so easily won. If fact we may lose. We are afraid that all we have left is power and it will be inadequate.
We should be afraid. We should all be afraid. In the past when North American businessmen are about to lose power (and their money) they send young men to war. And this is a war we will lose.
Is this going to end in war?
We still have depowerment.
Would we need our army in the middle east if we took the 150 Billion Dollars we spent on that never ending war on the development of renewable power sources like wind and sun?
We could have depowered the countries of the middle east by taking control of our own needs. By eliminating our need for oil we could have eliminated the need for a war. They would have no power because they would have no ability we needed. Their only mechanism - oil - would become impotent.
But we chose war.
Now, as we sit in fear of the inevitable domination of the world marketplace by China, do we have to consider war and manipulation or can we depower our needs and find a new way?
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Compassion
Power and Compassion are related ways of interacting with people. They come from the same place. They are sisters of the same mother. They are related by being opposite ends of one great continuum.
I have spent so much of my life fascinated with the way people control and influence each other. My question has been the same...Why? Why do we do it? Why are we so determined? Why do we even want to?
Call it my upbringing or my ethic or my over-moralist mindset - but to me with the ability to influence people comes the responsibility to take care of them. If you are going to have an impact on the way someone acts, or the choices that they make in their life, you have a responsibility to be sure that your use of control, influence or seduction is done with more than your own best interests in mind.
When you think about that, it sounds more than a little naive and maybe even crazy. After all power is about getting what you want.
I am not sure why I think that way. Although I do not think I am unique in this, I do believe this way of seeing power and responsibility is not as common as it might be. I think most people seeking power of one kind or another, do so with the desire to rise above others and satisfy some twisted need that, to them, represents happiness.
I think all people are on a constant quest toward happiness. It is the singular thing which drives us all. It is just that some people have some pretty weird ways of being happy. And for many of those, when they get what they want, they realize it didn't make them happy. As a result of the inadequate, fleeting or evasive feelings of happiness, they wonder what to do next. So they do more of the same hoping that it was not a question of what to do but of how much of it to do.
It's just a yearning for happiness.
We are all the same. We look different. We talk different. We act, eat, sleep, walk, choose and dream different. But notwithstanding all the differences in everything we think, say and do, we are still pointed at that same quest for happiness. We are all the same.
Power is a quest for happiness using others' needs to get what we want. Compassion is the quest for happiness believing in the oneness of us all.
To use power - to exploit others' needs - is the pursuit of the self. It is the raising of the individual. It is the focus on the uniqueness and supremacy of ourselves as individuals. It is happiness at the expense of others.
Compassion is the acceptance that we are all the same and together we will reach happiness or none of us will. It is seeing the need of another person not as a tool for self gratification but as the link between us, the common ground we experience, the common trait that makes us one. Compassion is using our ability to satisfy their need not a a means to an end but as an end it itself.
Power is an attempt at happiness for one. Compassion is a acceptance of happiness for all.
I believe that when we release power from our methods of seeking happiness and replace it with compassion we will evolve forever as a species.
That is my belief.
So if everyone knew how to use power, wouldn't we be forced to consider new ways? If everyone knew how power worked, wouldn't we be forced to acknowledge its corrupt nature? If everyone were to see this connection between power and compassion wouldn't we start to be truly happy?
I have spent so much of my life fascinated with the way people control and influence each other. My question has been the same...Why? Why do we do it? Why are we so determined? Why do we even want to?
Call it my upbringing or my ethic or my over-moralist mindset - but to me with the ability to influence people comes the responsibility to take care of them. If you are going to have an impact on the way someone acts, or the choices that they make in their life, you have a responsibility to be sure that your use of control, influence or seduction is done with more than your own best interests in mind.
When you think about that, it sounds more than a little naive and maybe even crazy. After all power is about getting what you want.
I am not sure why I think that way. Although I do not think I am unique in this, I do believe this way of seeing power and responsibility is not as common as it might be. I think most people seeking power of one kind or another, do so with the desire to rise above others and satisfy some twisted need that, to them, represents happiness.
I think all people are on a constant quest toward happiness. It is the singular thing which drives us all. It is just that some people have some pretty weird ways of being happy. And for many of those, when they get what they want, they realize it didn't make them happy. As a result of the inadequate, fleeting or evasive feelings of happiness, they wonder what to do next. So they do more of the same hoping that it was not a question of what to do but of how much of it to do.
It's just a yearning for happiness.
We are all the same. We look different. We talk different. We act, eat, sleep, walk, choose and dream different. But notwithstanding all the differences in everything we think, say and do, we are still pointed at that same quest for happiness. We are all the same.
Power is a quest for happiness using others' needs to get what we want. Compassion is the quest for happiness believing in the oneness of us all.
To use power - to exploit others' needs - is the pursuit of the self. It is the raising of the individual. It is the focus on the uniqueness and supremacy of ourselves as individuals. It is happiness at the expense of others.
Compassion is the acceptance that we are all the same and together we will reach happiness or none of us will. It is seeing the need of another person not as a tool for self gratification but as the link between us, the common ground we experience, the common trait that makes us one. Compassion is using our ability to satisfy their need not a a means to an end but as an end it itself.
Power is an attempt at happiness for one. Compassion is a acceptance of happiness for all.
I believe that when we release power from our methods of seeking happiness and replace it with compassion we will evolve forever as a species.
That is my belief.
So if everyone knew how to use power, wouldn't we be forced to consider new ways? If everyone knew how power worked, wouldn't we be forced to acknowledge its corrupt nature? If everyone were to see this connection between power and compassion wouldn't we start to be truly happy?
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Good Power?
There are those who pursue power because they say they can use it for good.
Some say good things happen when good people use power for a good reason.
I think it is important to understand authority properly before you can say if power is good or bad.
Authority is power by consent. It is still power. It is still about Needs. It is still a way for people to fulfill Needs in the great social nature of human existence.
We are a social beast. We fall out of another human being and if they don’t pick us up, we die. From the instant we are born we are constantly interacting with other humans to have our basic requirements of life satisfied. We need each other. We need each other for so much more than food and security. We need each other because this life we take is meant to be our human experience. Humans are not meant to live alone.
But to live together we need rules. We need agreements and conventions. We need predictability and consistency. Without the rules of social interaction we are unable to accomplish the great things. So we create authority.
Let’s not talk about politics. It just gets us confused. Let’s skip political power just for today. Let’s talk about something easy.
As a social beast we need a lot of things other than government. We need language to have knowledge. We need knowledge to have technology. We need technology to enjoy the lifestyle we live. These needs will create conventions and rules we are happy to submit to. They offer nothing but possibilities of hope and prosperity.
Of course knowledge can be abused and manipulated as a mechanism of power. But like everything we need, it is available to be used for power.
To get knowledge you must be a tax payer in our society to go school and use our libraries. We see nothing wrong with such institutions. They are a reflection of the best intentions of people. They are the best of authority.
However authority, like any mechanism of power can used for good and bad.
We would all agree to have a library. It is a worthwhile institution. It is a benefit to a society. Boy, Ben Franklin was a smart guy with a cool idea.
We know that to be able to have it, we would submit to the rules of the library. After all you can’t have a thousand books just floating around. We need to organize them and keep track of them so everyone can use them.
Of course to submit to the rules of the library is to submit to the authority of the librarian.
If she acts inappropriately, we will remove her from the position and take the authority away. We can replace her and then once again be happy to submit to the authority of a new librarian. After all, we want the books and the knowledge in them.
This is power by consent. The librarian gets her power from the agreement of the people to let her be in charge of the books. Her authority comes from the people. In this case, we would say this is good power. It keeps the books organized and keeps people from hurting our collective knowledge base. We see her power to levy fines and revoke privileges as a good use of power because we need someone to take care of the books. She uses our need for a library. Applies her authority to organize and protect. She gets compliance from us and we take our books back on time.
Power by consent- authority. What makes it good is that we have agreed to submit to it. What makes it good is that the authority is not being abused for her own purposes.
Nonetheless it is the exploitation of a need. And that is what power is.
When authority is taken or imposed there is no consent. When authority is abused for personal gain, we call it corruption. We might call this the abuse of power. We might call it bad power.
But then what is power for, except to get what we want?
What did we think would happen when we give people the authority to use power?
How many times do you have to be told? – Power corrupts.
Power and corruption are twin sisters. They are the same use of power by consent. However we like one and hate the other.
Good power is authority given with true well-meaning and informed consent. Everything else is corruption.
Some say good things happen when good people use power for a good reason.
I think it is important to understand authority properly before you can say if power is good or bad.
Authority is power by consent. It is still power. It is still about Needs. It is still a way for people to fulfill Needs in the great social nature of human existence.
We are a social beast. We fall out of another human being and if they don’t pick us up, we die. From the instant we are born we are constantly interacting with other humans to have our basic requirements of life satisfied. We need each other. We need each other for so much more than food and security. We need each other because this life we take is meant to be our human experience. Humans are not meant to live alone.
But to live together we need rules. We need agreements and conventions. We need predictability and consistency. Without the rules of social interaction we are unable to accomplish the great things. So we create authority.
Let’s not talk about politics. It just gets us confused. Let’s skip political power just for today. Let’s talk about something easy.
As a social beast we need a lot of things other than government. We need language to have knowledge. We need knowledge to have technology. We need technology to enjoy the lifestyle we live. These needs will create conventions and rules we are happy to submit to. They offer nothing but possibilities of hope and prosperity.
Of course knowledge can be abused and manipulated as a mechanism of power. But like everything we need, it is available to be used for power.
To get knowledge you must be a tax payer in our society to go school and use our libraries. We see nothing wrong with such institutions. They are a reflection of the best intentions of people. They are the best of authority.
However authority, like any mechanism of power can used for good and bad.
We would all agree to have a library. It is a worthwhile institution. It is a benefit to a society. Boy, Ben Franklin was a smart guy with a cool idea.
We know that to be able to have it, we would submit to the rules of the library. After all you can’t have a thousand books just floating around. We need to organize them and keep track of them so everyone can use them.
Of course to submit to the rules of the library is to submit to the authority of the librarian.
If she acts inappropriately, we will remove her from the position and take the authority away. We can replace her and then once again be happy to submit to the authority of a new librarian. After all, we want the books and the knowledge in them.
This is power by consent. The librarian gets her power from the agreement of the people to let her be in charge of the books. Her authority comes from the people. In this case, we would say this is good power. It keeps the books organized and keeps people from hurting our collective knowledge base. We see her power to levy fines and revoke privileges as a good use of power because we need someone to take care of the books. She uses our need for a library. Applies her authority to organize and protect. She gets compliance from us and we take our books back on time.
Power by consent- authority. What makes it good is that we have agreed to submit to it. What makes it good is that the authority is not being abused for her own purposes.
Nonetheless it is the exploitation of a need. And that is what power is.
When authority is taken or imposed there is no consent. When authority is abused for personal gain, we call it corruption. We might call this the abuse of power. We might call it bad power.
But then what is power for, except to get what we want?
What did we think would happen when we give people the authority to use power?
How many times do you have to be told? – Power corrupts.
Power and corruption are twin sisters. They are the same use of power by consent. However we like one and hate the other.
Good power is authority given with true well-meaning and informed consent. Everything else is corruption.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Love
I was always good at power when it came to the practice of law.
Within the context of negotiation and conflict, I was adept at isolating needs and finding abilities to get to those needs in a motivating and often, even conciliatory, way. I was able to see the whole picture so clearly. And of course my clients were happy to know I had that ability.
Having talents in power made me both money and reputation and it all seemed good.
I learned a lot about power from those situations. In those circumstances you can try different tactics and strategies and since the outcome was seldom personal in nature, I was able to overcome anger and other such emotions. Keeping a cool head, when dealing in power, is essential.
Yes the world of law, finance and business was a great place to be educated on power.
On the other hand, I learned a lot more about power from my personal life. The hardest lessons on power came from those I love and live with.
It makes sense. When you live in such a close proximity and with such integrated lives, you must expect that every decision and move impacts everyone around you. You should expect then, that those people around you are going to want to exercise some influence over those decisions and moves.
Implementing the method of need and mechanism analysis is so much harder when emotion is involved.
Anger generated by loving relationships is probably the most intense anger you will ever experience.
But in the occasional situation when I was able to see with compassion and collaboration rather than anger and competition, I could comprehend what was motivating the other’s use of power. In such cases I was able to learn a lot about power. And usually my choices resulted in greater happiness not greater animosity.
I wish I could say I was good at it. I can’t claim to be any better than anyone else. About the best I can say is that I see and understand better than most. But I don’t claim to overcome better than most.
Nothing is more of a power mechanism than love. Few mechanisms can be so intense and absolute. The results of power dynamics using love are usually extreme in their conclusion.
We have the capability to generate resistances to pain and threat; to bribe and seduction and attachment. Sometimes we can hold our own in the most terrifying of circumstances. We can cling to our intention to make a deliberate decision and we are successful in our non-compliance.
But love…now that mechanism is hard to resist.
Avoiding power is important because of its incredible ability to destroy trust. In a loving relationship it is especially important to avoid the use of power- intentional or not. The loss of trust in those cases can be fatal.
It is a good lesson to remember that when you see a loved one react to you in anger, it is because they are feeling subject your power. Whether you are trying to use it or not, it can be active. Whether you mean it or not, it is destroying the trust you hold for each other.
Remember that expecting someone you love to just submit to your requests is unrealistic. And if you are unwilling to collaborate or compromise you will find yourselves running down a road of constant power dynamics.
Love is a potent mechanism. Loving relationships are going to have power dynamics in them whether or not you want it.
Sometimes to love is to submit to power.
Within the context of negotiation and conflict, I was adept at isolating needs and finding abilities to get to those needs in a motivating and often, even conciliatory, way. I was able to see the whole picture so clearly. And of course my clients were happy to know I had that ability.
Having talents in power made me both money and reputation and it all seemed good.
I learned a lot about power from those situations. In those circumstances you can try different tactics and strategies and since the outcome was seldom personal in nature, I was able to overcome anger and other such emotions. Keeping a cool head, when dealing in power, is essential.
Yes the world of law, finance and business was a great place to be educated on power.
On the other hand, I learned a lot more about power from my personal life. The hardest lessons on power came from those I love and live with.
It makes sense. When you live in such a close proximity and with such integrated lives, you must expect that every decision and move impacts everyone around you. You should expect then, that those people around you are going to want to exercise some influence over those decisions and moves.
Implementing the method of need and mechanism analysis is so much harder when emotion is involved.
Anger generated by loving relationships is probably the most intense anger you will ever experience.
But in the occasional situation when I was able to see with compassion and collaboration rather than anger and competition, I could comprehend what was motivating the other’s use of power. In such cases I was able to learn a lot about power. And usually my choices resulted in greater happiness not greater animosity.
I wish I could say I was good at it. I can’t claim to be any better than anyone else. About the best I can say is that I see and understand better than most. But I don’t claim to overcome better than most.
Nothing is more of a power mechanism than love. Few mechanisms can be so intense and absolute. The results of power dynamics using love are usually extreme in their conclusion.
We have the capability to generate resistances to pain and threat; to bribe and seduction and attachment. Sometimes we can hold our own in the most terrifying of circumstances. We can cling to our intention to make a deliberate decision and we are successful in our non-compliance.
But love…now that mechanism is hard to resist.
Avoiding power is important because of its incredible ability to destroy trust. In a loving relationship it is especially important to avoid the use of power- intentional or not. The loss of trust in those cases can be fatal.
It is a good lesson to remember that when you see a loved one react to you in anger, it is because they are feeling subject your power. Whether you are trying to use it or not, it can be active. Whether you mean it or not, it is destroying the trust you hold for each other.
Remember that expecting someone you love to just submit to your requests is unrealistic. And if you are unwilling to collaborate or compromise you will find yourselves running down a road of constant power dynamics.
Love is a potent mechanism. Loving relationships are going to have power dynamics in them whether or not you want it.
Sometimes to love is to submit to power.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Freedom
The long weekends are always welcome in the summer months. The combination of winter’s imprisonment and work’s control makes a long weekend feel like freedom.
Holidays serve as a great break from power.
No work. No one to answer to. No coworkers messing with our heads. No bosses with their heel on the back of our neck. No arbitrary tasks undertaken solely for the benefit of a paycheque.
From the instant we awake we have lightness of being. With no commute to a workplace there is no feeling of control. We are momentarily carefree. The exploitation of our need for money has been halted. Our social conscience is given reprieve for 24 hours as we indulge our legal and moral right to a day away from work. We are not cheating. We are not breaking rules. In fact, finally there is a rule that works in our favor. We are the champions for a single day. We are free from the power of our employer.
While at work there is this constant drone of thought in our head telling us to keep going. Telling us to get it done. Telling us we need the money. Telling us that it does not matter if we like our job. We are lucky to have one. We are lucky that we have the ability to survive. We need the job, so we must work.
The voices in our head remind us of our weakness and our reliance on others.
Not everyone hates their job. I love mine. But not everyday. And not everything about it. And I still ask the question, “If I won the lottery tomorrow, is this the job I would choose?” I am so fortunate to say that my answer is always “Yes.”
Innate in us is the need to belong. The need for meaning and self actualization. Some of us are so lucky to have jobs that facilitate that meaning. Most of us however, do not have that kind of employment. Most of us do what we can or what we have to, not what we want. Our job does not fulfill our need for meaning or self esteem. If fulfills only our need for survival.
And that makes it feel so much more like power over us.
It is the most obvious, most constant form of power in our lives. But for our job, we could not survive and as such our need is exploited and we are subject to the control and influence of others.
Sometimes we have one of those “upwardly mobile” jobs. They are the most sublime forms of power. It is real power because it is not upwardly mobile for every one. It is competitive and only a very few of us will get to move up. But that carrot on a stick hangs there and we willingly, through the seduction of an opportunity to realize our dreams and wishes, submit to the wishes and whims of our boss and the organization.
But at the end of that stick is a shiny bauble. It is the chance at freedom. It is the ability to not be the one who is told what to do. It is the chance to be the one who does the telling. And in that rise of status comes some sense of freedom. Some hope of liberation from what we are.
We seek power to feel free. Power over others. Power to demand and command. Power to free ourselves of the daily mundane. Freedom from hunger - we have steak and caviar. Freedom from work - we have employees and domestics. Freedom from cares - we have all the conveniences. Freedom from the will of others - they will do what we say say.
Those who rise and attain the promise of more money, more holidays, more power, after some time, come to realize that it is not so.
There is no freedom in it.
We will forever be beasts who have needs. We will forever need the next meal. We will always need sleep. We will always be subject to illness, age, and fear. We will always be subject to climate and society. We will always be subject to the will of those who have given us what we sought. We will always be subject to the will of those we love. We will always be subjects to the things we desire. We will always be subject to our needs. It is the nature of what we are. There is no freedom from being human.
All the power in the world will not stop you from being human.
Being at work we are reminded that we are subject to the power of others because of our need for money.
But at least for one extra day in May we are free.
Holidays serve as a great break from power.
No work. No one to answer to. No coworkers messing with our heads. No bosses with their heel on the back of our neck. No arbitrary tasks undertaken solely for the benefit of a paycheque.
From the instant we awake we have lightness of being. With no commute to a workplace there is no feeling of control. We are momentarily carefree. The exploitation of our need for money has been halted. Our social conscience is given reprieve for 24 hours as we indulge our legal and moral right to a day away from work. We are not cheating. We are not breaking rules. In fact, finally there is a rule that works in our favor. We are the champions for a single day. We are free from the power of our employer.
While at work there is this constant drone of thought in our head telling us to keep going. Telling us to get it done. Telling us we need the money. Telling us that it does not matter if we like our job. We are lucky to have one. We are lucky that we have the ability to survive. We need the job, so we must work.
The voices in our head remind us of our weakness and our reliance on others.
Not everyone hates their job. I love mine. But not everyday. And not everything about it. And I still ask the question, “If I won the lottery tomorrow, is this the job I would choose?” I am so fortunate to say that my answer is always “Yes.”
Innate in us is the need to belong. The need for meaning and self actualization. Some of us are so lucky to have jobs that facilitate that meaning. Most of us however, do not have that kind of employment. Most of us do what we can or what we have to, not what we want. Our job does not fulfill our need for meaning or self esteem. If fulfills only our need for survival.
And that makes it feel so much more like power over us.
It is the most obvious, most constant form of power in our lives. But for our job, we could not survive and as such our need is exploited and we are subject to the control and influence of others.
Sometimes we have one of those “upwardly mobile” jobs. They are the most sublime forms of power. It is real power because it is not upwardly mobile for every one. It is competitive and only a very few of us will get to move up. But that carrot on a stick hangs there and we willingly, through the seduction of an opportunity to realize our dreams and wishes, submit to the wishes and whims of our boss and the organization.
But at the end of that stick is a shiny bauble. It is the chance at freedom. It is the ability to not be the one who is told what to do. It is the chance to be the one who does the telling. And in that rise of status comes some sense of freedom. Some hope of liberation from what we are.
We seek power to feel free. Power over others. Power to demand and command. Power to free ourselves of the daily mundane. Freedom from hunger - we have steak and caviar. Freedom from work - we have employees and domestics. Freedom from cares - we have all the conveniences. Freedom from the will of others - they will do what we say say.
Those who rise and attain the promise of more money, more holidays, more power, after some time, come to realize that it is not so.
There is no freedom in it.
We will forever be beasts who have needs. We will forever need the next meal. We will always need sleep. We will always be subject to illness, age, and fear. We will always be subject to climate and society. We will always be subject to the will of those who have given us what we sought. We will always be subject to the will of those we love. We will always be subjects to the things we desire. We will always be subject to our needs. It is the nature of what we are. There is no freedom from being human.
All the power in the world will not stop you from being human.
Being at work we are reminded that we are subject to the power of others because of our need for money.
But at least for one extra day in May we are free.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Detachment
It is essential when dealing with power to detach yourself from the situation.
Emotions always run hard in power dynamics.
Needs are emotion based things and a good power play exacerbates the effect of the need so as to create power from it. Which means it will exacerbate the emotional content of the need as well.
The first step in overcoming power is to detach from the circumstance so that the emotions are not the platform from which you make decisions.
Benjamin Franklin said - "That which begins in anger ends in shame."
Power will always evoke anger. Anger must be neutralized. To neutralize anger we must detach.
Detach. See the dynamic as needs and abilities. Re-take the ability to choose.
Nothing is as important as we think it is.
And we love our anger. It is invigorating. We see it as an entitlement. Just like the child in the grocery store, we think there is power in it. But there isn't really. The power is in need and our ability to overcome power is about our ability to overcome our own needs.
The only thing anger is good for is to warn us that we are in a power dynamic.
So feel it and give it up. Detach.
Focus on the needs and abilities.
Emotions always run hard in power dynamics.
Needs are emotion based things and a good power play exacerbates the effect of the need so as to create power from it. Which means it will exacerbate the emotional content of the need as well.
The first step in overcoming power is to detach from the circumstance so that the emotions are not the platform from which you make decisions.
Benjamin Franklin said - "That which begins in anger ends in shame."
Power will always evoke anger. Anger must be neutralized. To neutralize anger we must detach.
Detach. See the dynamic as needs and abilities. Re-take the ability to choose.
Nothing is as important as we think it is.
And we love our anger. It is invigorating. We see it as an entitlement. Just like the child in the grocery store, we think there is power in it. But there isn't really. The power is in need and our ability to overcome power is about our ability to overcome our own needs.
The only thing anger is good for is to warn us that we are in a power dynamic.
So feel it and give it up. Detach.
Focus on the needs and abilities.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Information
I was curious to listen to the news reports today after Newsweek reported that in Guantanamo Bay US military personnel "flushed a Qu'ran down the toilet" to intimidate detainees in the prison camp there.
Mostly because nobody seemed to ask whether or not it happened.
We know exactly how many sources the reporter had. We know how he dealt with his sources. We know that most of the other media are finger pointing and criticizing the report for failing to have sufficient corroborating sources.
Newsweek even retracted part of the story.
But not the whole story. And not the part about the event. Only the part that qualifies it as "according to a single source."
Information is the strongest Mechanism of Power there is.
Power comes from the Need of the subject. If there is no need there is no power. The power is only released by the ability of someone to offer help or hindrance to the fulfillment of the need of the subject. That ability is the Power Mechanism. It is the trigger of power. The Need is the Source of the Power. The power resides inside that need. But it takes a mechanism to bring it out. To make it real. To activate it.
In the Mechanism is the ability to create feelings of control, influence and seduction. These are the experiences of power.
When a young girl is told that a certain hair style is "totally yesterday, so five minutes ago" she is compelled by her need to belong and be appreciated to feel controlled to change her doo.
When she is told that one band is more cool than another she is influenced to listen to that music.
When she is told that if she attends a certain university she will have a better chance of successful career and a wealthy lifestyle, she is seduced into thinking that she must go there.
In each case, it is power. In each case she has need. In each case it is the information that triggers the power and impacts her choices. The information is the mechanism.
After all, that is the point. We want to have an impact on the choice she will make. That is the purpose of power. To effect choices. Sometimes control, sometimes influence, sometimes seduce.
Information is simply the mechanism in each of those circumstances. The power resides in her need to belong, be accepted, be cool, be successful, be happy. As long as she thinks that she needs the information to know what to choose she will be reliant on the information.
We are completely subject to the information that comes to us from journalism. We look to independent sources for unbiased information so we can make clear, rational and correct decisions about our world, our government and all other aspects of our lives. We cannot be a citizen of this tiny globe without the information we get from news media.
We are critical of the media for good reason. We are cautious. It has been shown time and again that media is biased. Even Ted Turner, media and news mogul extraordinare, has written for Ode Magazine stating that the world is in danger from the concentration of media into the hands of a few major corporations.
However the art of spin has gone beyond the concentration and control of information.
Somehow today the Whitehouse has successfully released "surveys" which suggest that citizens want news media controlled.
As a result of this report by Newsweek, our officials are suggesting that people have died around the world due to irresponsible way Newsweek released this information.
But again I ask - Is it true? Is the statement that US military desecrated the Qu'ran true?
After everything we saw in Abu Gharib, we know it is possible.
So stop avoiding the question by accusing Newsweek of being irresponsible. The administration has been irresponsible in the way it has governed its prison guards and interrogators. That has been proven beyond a doubt.
It is power to be able to control the information.
It is scary power to get people to agree to let government control the flow of information - which was the great lesson taught to us by the Soviet Union.
It is masterful, yet corrupt, power to control not just the answers to our questions but the questions being asked.
Mostly because nobody seemed to ask whether or not it happened.
We know exactly how many sources the reporter had. We know how he dealt with his sources. We know that most of the other media are finger pointing and criticizing the report for failing to have sufficient corroborating sources.
Newsweek even retracted part of the story.
But not the whole story. And not the part about the event. Only the part that qualifies it as "according to a single source."
Information is the strongest Mechanism of Power there is.
Power comes from the Need of the subject. If there is no need there is no power. The power is only released by the ability of someone to offer help or hindrance to the fulfillment of the need of the subject. That ability is the Power Mechanism. It is the trigger of power. The Need is the Source of the Power. The power resides inside that need. But it takes a mechanism to bring it out. To make it real. To activate it.
In the Mechanism is the ability to create feelings of control, influence and seduction. These are the experiences of power.
When a young girl is told that a certain hair style is "totally yesterday, so five minutes ago" she is compelled by her need to belong and be appreciated to feel controlled to change her doo.
When she is told that one band is more cool than another she is influenced to listen to that music.
When she is told that if she attends a certain university she will have a better chance of successful career and a wealthy lifestyle, she is seduced into thinking that she must go there.
In each case, it is power. In each case she has need. In each case it is the information that triggers the power and impacts her choices. The information is the mechanism.
After all, that is the point. We want to have an impact on the choice she will make. That is the purpose of power. To effect choices. Sometimes control, sometimes influence, sometimes seduce.
Information is simply the mechanism in each of those circumstances. The power resides in her need to belong, be accepted, be cool, be successful, be happy. As long as she thinks that she needs the information to know what to choose she will be reliant on the information.
We are completely subject to the information that comes to us from journalism. We look to independent sources for unbiased information so we can make clear, rational and correct decisions about our world, our government and all other aspects of our lives. We cannot be a citizen of this tiny globe without the information we get from news media.
We are critical of the media for good reason. We are cautious. It has been shown time and again that media is biased. Even Ted Turner, media and news mogul extraordinare, has written for Ode Magazine stating that the world is in danger from the concentration of media into the hands of a few major corporations.
However the art of spin has gone beyond the concentration and control of information.
Somehow today the Whitehouse has successfully released "surveys" which suggest that citizens want news media controlled.
As a result of this report by Newsweek, our officials are suggesting that people have died around the world due to irresponsible way Newsweek released this information.
But again I ask - Is it true? Is the statement that US military desecrated the Qu'ran true?
After everything we saw in Abu Gharib, we know it is possible.
So stop avoiding the question by accusing Newsweek of being irresponsible. The administration has been irresponsible in the way it has governed its prison guards and interrogators. That has been proven beyond a doubt.
It is power to be able to control the information.
It is scary power to get people to agree to let government control the flow of information - which was the great lesson taught to us by the Soviet Union.
It is masterful, yet corrupt, power to control not just the answers to our questions but the questions being asked.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Depowerment
When we understand that all the power against is the result of our own set of complicated and compounding needs, we open the door to see the truth of Depowerment.
There is great understanding in knowing the Source of Power. The insight into the process of power is instrumental to knowing and having power. Without seeing that the power you seek resides in the person you seek to influence, you can do little more than the monkey and the typewriter. Eventually you will do something that results in power but it can't be called intentional. When, however, you understand that the Source of Power is need, that it is thing you target to have power over someone, power becomes both possible and intentional. Great leaders know this stuff. The average person doesn't.
That is the first thing I want to share.
What would the world be like if everyone knew how to use power? If everyone had an equal ability to intentionally, deliberately, and effectively use power?
I think it will change the world. There will no longer be the "us" and "them." We will recognize how we are our own slave-creator and that they are just as likely - no, absolutely are, - subject to being our slaves as well. If we want them to be...
But there is a more important opportunity here. It will be the focus of the second book.
Knowing the Source of Power, that is locating it and becoming familiar with it, is what will allow us to address it within us. Not addressing it in others to use power. But addressing it in ourselves to stop their power. And addressing it is more important. It is certainly more effective.
This insight into ourselves is itself powerful. It is powerful however because of the opportunity it creates.
If we can control our needs, and the need based relationships we create, we are in a position to control our own susceptibility to power. We can stop the ability of others to use power over us.
Seeking power, taking power, using power, this is empowerment. The Empowerment craze of the 80' and 90's has done nothing for our society except make things worse. Yes there are some small benefits in the workplace as we give workers more control over their work. But that is entrepreneurship not power. We can still fire their butts if we want. There is no real power per se. That is just an enhanced authority (power by consent) to those who show keen interest in success.
Empowerment for women has not made relationships any better. Yes, through things like professor Wolfe's Fire with Fire, women may see that playing the games men play against the men may cause men to feel uneasy and out of control, and possibly generate in women feelings of greater control. But in the end it is not real power because it does not address the Source of Power. It uses the Source from time to time. But by accident, not by intention. More important though, it only proliferates power, it does not improve our situation.
If the only way we can get along as equals is in some prolonged mistrusting game of power, well, then what have we gained? If we still base our relationships in some balanced power dynamic, what kind of relationship is that? Moreover, it cannot end well. Eventually the scales will tip again. It does not matter in whose favor they tip. Because ultimately what we have are relationships operating as power dynamics. One side using the needs of the other to control them.
There can be no love in that. There can be no real intimacy in that. There can be no growth as humans in that. Society may shift but the game remains the same and we all lose.
Look where empowerment has lead our society. People try to control others more and more every day. Whether it is the pursuit of wealth, political office or celebrity and fame, the quest for power is about creating an in equality for some to enjoy a benefit over others. To be better. To have more. To see ourselves as somehow entitled to a better life than others. Our western society has come to live in a constant state of war and we are not even concerned about this.
This is where our empowerment understandings and our cultural love/hate relationship with power have lead us.
The great idea that comes from understanding the Source of power is not the gaining of power but the ability to avoid power.
Power destroys trust. Trust is necessary for relationships. Relationships are the only real external source of growth and happiness. The increase of power decreases happiness. The decrease of power will create a chance for happiness to come in.
Depowerment is the ability to keep your needs from being subject to others attempts at using power. Depowerment is the removal of power from a situation. Depowerment is freeing the circumstance from the influence of of power. Depowerment stops others from having control. Depowerment is self control. Depowerment is trust. Depowerment helps build relationships.
The Source of Power lets us have power if we want it. Empowerment. More of the same. Same shit, different person, so to speak. But the understanding of the Source of Power is what could depower our lives. Something new, something different, something better. Usiong the same understanding and targeting ourselves rather than others.
A higher evolution of relationships.
Maybe even the beginning of true compassion.
There is great understanding in knowing the Source of Power. The insight into the process of power is instrumental to knowing and having power. Without seeing that the power you seek resides in the person you seek to influence, you can do little more than the monkey and the typewriter. Eventually you will do something that results in power but it can't be called intentional. When, however, you understand that the Source of Power is need, that it is thing you target to have power over someone, power becomes both possible and intentional. Great leaders know this stuff. The average person doesn't.
That is the first thing I want to share.
What would the world be like if everyone knew how to use power? If everyone had an equal ability to intentionally, deliberately, and effectively use power?
I think it will change the world. There will no longer be the "us" and "them." We will recognize how we are our own slave-creator and that they are just as likely - no, absolutely are, - subject to being our slaves as well. If we want them to be...
But there is a more important opportunity here. It will be the focus of the second book.
Knowing the Source of Power, that is locating it and becoming familiar with it, is what will allow us to address it within us. Not addressing it in others to use power. But addressing it in ourselves to stop their power. And addressing it is more important. It is certainly more effective.
This insight into ourselves is itself powerful. It is powerful however because of the opportunity it creates.
If we can control our needs, and the need based relationships we create, we are in a position to control our own susceptibility to power. We can stop the ability of others to use power over us.
Seeking power, taking power, using power, this is empowerment. The Empowerment craze of the 80' and 90's has done nothing for our society except make things worse. Yes there are some small benefits in the workplace as we give workers more control over their work. But that is entrepreneurship not power. We can still fire their butts if we want. There is no real power per se. That is just an enhanced authority (power by consent) to those who show keen interest in success.
Empowerment for women has not made relationships any better. Yes, through things like professor Wolfe's Fire with Fire, women may see that playing the games men play against the men may cause men to feel uneasy and out of control, and possibly generate in women feelings of greater control. But in the end it is not real power because it does not address the Source of Power. It uses the Source from time to time. But by accident, not by intention. More important though, it only proliferates power, it does not improve our situation.
If the only way we can get along as equals is in some prolonged mistrusting game of power, well, then what have we gained? If we still base our relationships in some balanced power dynamic, what kind of relationship is that? Moreover, it cannot end well. Eventually the scales will tip again. It does not matter in whose favor they tip. Because ultimately what we have are relationships operating as power dynamics. One side using the needs of the other to control them.
There can be no love in that. There can be no real intimacy in that. There can be no growth as humans in that. Society may shift but the game remains the same and we all lose.
Look where empowerment has lead our society. People try to control others more and more every day. Whether it is the pursuit of wealth, political office or celebrity and fame, the quest for power is about creating an in equality for some to enjoy a benefit over others. To be better. To have more. To see ourselves as somehow entitled to a better life than others. Our western society has come to live in a constant state of war and we are not even concerned about this.
This is where our empowerment understandings and our cultural love/hate relationship with power have lead us.
The great idea that comes from understanding the Source of power is not the gaining of power but the ability to avoid power.
Power destroys trust. Trust is necessary for relationships. Relationships are the only real external source of growth and happiness. The increase of power decreases happiness. The decrease of power will create a chance for happiness to come in.
Depowerment is the ability to keep your needs from being subject to others attempts at using power. Depowerment is the removal of power from a situation. Depowerment is freeing the circumstance from the influence of of power. Depowerment stops others from having control. Depowerment is self control. Depowerment is trust. Depowerment helps build relationships.
The Source of Power lets us have power if we want it. Empowerment. More of the same. Same shit, different person, so to speak. But the understanding of the Source of Power is what could depower our lives. Something new, something different, something better. Usiong the same understanding and targeting ourselves rather than others.
A higher evolution of relationships.
Maybe even the beginning of true compassion.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
The Power of Spring
Life is more than just intense questions and interpersonal dynamics.
I was reminded of this early this morning....
Early this morning it was clear to me that we finally have spring.
At long last....but for how long...?
Spring is so short. In this land we go from cold and wet to hot and humid in a couple of weeks.
But spring needs to be appreciated.
It must be something special because we all notice it.
In the spring I like to remember the power of the earth. All things come from the earth. It is the origin of everything truly powerful.
Enjoy this spring day.
Les
Some thoughts......
Anne Bradstreet: If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
Edna St. Vincent Millay: April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.
Helen Hayes: All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar.
Margaret Atwood: In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.
Matthew Arnold: Is it so small a thing To have enjoy'd the sun, To have lived light in the spring, To have loved, to have thought, to have done...
Robert Frost: Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;And give us not to think so far awayAs the uncertain harvest; keep us hereAll simply in the springing of the year.
William Wordsworth: Written in Early Spring
I heard a thousand blended notes While in a grove I sate reclined, In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
To her fair works did Nature linkThe human soul that through me ran; And much it grieved my heart to think What Man has made of Man.
I was reminded of this early this morning....
Early this morning it was clear to me that we finally have spring.
At long last....but for how long...?
Spring is so short. In this land we go from cold and wet to hot and humid in a couple of weeks.
But spring needs to be appreciated.
It must be something special because we all notice it.
In the spring I like to remember the power of the earth. All things come from the earth. It is the origin of everything truly powerful.
Enjoy this spring day.
Les
Some thoughts......
Anne Bradstreet: If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
Edna St. Vincent Millay: April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.
Helen Hayes: All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar.
Margaret Atwood: In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.
Matthew Arnold: Is it so small a thing To have enjoy'd the sun, To have lived light in the spring, To have loved, to have thought, to have done...
Robert Frost: Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;And give us not to think so far awayAs the uncertain harvest; keep us hereAll simply in the springing of the year.
William Wordsworth: Written in Early Spring
I heard a thousand blended notes While in a grove I sate reclined, In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
To her fair works did Nature linkThe human soul that through me ran; And much it grieved my heart to think What Man has made of Man.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Power and Trust
So really what's so bad about using power to get what you want?
Why is it that so many see power as an evil or immoral thing?
Why are people afraid of power?
Why do they hold powerful people in disdain?
Why is it that inspite of this distain we still seek to mimic those with power?
Why is it that when I want to teach a course on power there is this natural mistrust?
Why is there this assumption that something sinister is afoot?
Why does the average person yearn for power, seek power, use power but ultimately hate power?
Why are the vast majority of relationships based in power?
Parent /Child
Teacher /Student
Employer/Employee
Politician/Citizen
Doctor/Patient
Clergy/Parishioner
Buyer/Seller
Unions/Management
Nations/Allies
These are relationships that are all about one getting from the other. They are about a sybiosis that is based on interdependence but usually disintegrates into some mild form of extortion.
Even those relationships not based in power cannot claim to be power free.
Man/Woman
Friend /Friend
Brothers/Sisters
Worker/Worker
Why do all relationships at one time or another involve power?
But then...
What is so bad about having power in these relationships anyway?
If I need to get what I need to get, and I can make someone else get it for me, well, why not?
If I have this need to fulfil my life purpose and other people, by necessity, are going to contribute to this, what is wrong with using power to get that contribution?
Well, then...
How do you feel when people use power over you?
Angry? Controlled? Manipulated? Coerced? Trapped? Tricked?
Angry. Real angry sometimes.
Why would we feel this way when we are the subject of a power dynamic?
Because deep inside we know that power is the exploitation of my needs for you to get what you want.
You use my desires, requirements and attachments to make me choose to do what you want me to do.
You use my weakness against me.
All relationships have a mutual benefit or there would be no relationship at all.
But if I reveal the benefit to me of my relationship with you, and then you use that as a means to get more from me than I would be willing to give, then you have violated the trust upon which we first created our connection.
We hate power because it exists within relationships that we want and need. And when it is used, it destroys the trust necessary to have the realtionship.
We are angry because the trust in the relationship, that trust that makes us comfortable and willing to be so engaged, is destroyed.
Power destroys trust.
Power destroys relationships.
We need relationships to fulfil our purpose.
But once we use power, all we have left is an ongoing power struggle. The relationship, partnership, connection is destroyed.
Is there another way?
Can we interact cooperatively without using power?
Although power may assist us in fulfilling our purpose, do we really need it? Is there not another way?
What is compassion?
Why is it that so many see power as an evil or immoral thing?
Why are people afraid of power?
Why do they hold powerful people in disdain?
Why is it that inspite of this distain we still seek to mimic those with power?
Why is it that when I want to teach a course on power there is this natural mistrust?
Why is there this assumption that something sinister is afoot?
Why does the average person yearn for power, seek power, use power but ultimately hate power?
Why are the vast majority of relationships based in power?
Parent /Child
Teacher /Student
Employer/Employee
Politician/Citizen
Doctor/Patient
Clergy/Parishioner
Buyer/Seller
Unions/Management
Nations/Allies
These are relationships that are all about one getting from the other. They are about a sybiosis that is based on interdependence but usually disintegrates into some mild form of extortion.
Even those relationships not based in power cannot claim to be power free.
Man/Woman
Friend /Friend
Brothers/Sisters
Worker/Worker
Why do all relationships at one time or another involve power?
But then...
What is so bad about having power in these relationships anyway?
If I need to get what I need to get, and I can make someone else get it for me, well, why not?
If I have this need to fulfil my life purpose and other people, by necessity, are going to contribute to this, what is wrong with using power to get that contribution?
Well, then...
How do you feel when people use power over you?
Angry? Controlled? Manipulated? Coerced? Trapped? Tricked?
Angry. Real angry sometimes.
Why would we feel this way when we are the subject of a power dynamic?
Because deep inside we know that power is the exploitation of my needs for you to get what you want.
You use my desires, requirements and attachments to make me choose to do what you want me to do.
You use my weakness against me.
All relationships have a mutual benefit or there would be no relationship at all.
But if I reveal the benefit to me of my relationship with you, and then you use that as a means to get more from me than I would be willing to give, then you have violated the trust upon which we first created our connection.
We hate power because it exists within relationships that we want and need. And when it is used, it destroys the trust necessary to have the realtionship.
We are angry because the trust in the relationship, that trust that makes us comfortable and willing to be so engaged, is destroyed.
Power destroys trust.
Power destroys relationships.
We need relationships to fulfil our purpose.
But once we use power, all we have left is an ongoing power struggle. The relationship, partnership, connection is destroyed.
Is there another way?
Can we interact cooperatively without using power?
Although power may assist us in fulfilling our purpose, do we really need it? Is there not another way?
What is compassion?
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Choice
Every life has a purpose -whether you think so or not. We are all here to live a series of events and challenges. We are all here to grow and develop into who we are. There is nothing easy about it. But it was never supposed to be easy. In fact you can be sure that if the process of your life is feeling easy it is either because you have successfully avoided your life or that you have successfully reached nirvana/oneness/enlightenment/heaven.
But the important facts are these: you will live this purpose through a series of choices you will make and you are not alone in this process.
It is obvious. We fall out of another human being. We would not survive without the benevolence of parents and family. We seek love and acceptance just as we seek food and shelter. We are a social beast.
As we progress through the days we find that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. A society can accomplish so much more than an individual. A group of people working together is capable of more than one person working alone.
Moreover, we discover and eventually come to accept, that there is very little in our lives that does not come from other people. Whatever you have as possessions, almost all came from the work of others.
Your knowledge was a gift from parents and teachers as well as books and their authors.
Your food and your home were likely the work of others. And even if your grew your food and built your home someone else gave you the seed, built the tillers and rakes you use, piped the water to your home for your irrigation, cut down the trees for the lumber, fabricated the nails and shingles and created the electricity you used to build. Most of what we have and use came from others.
Even if we are creative and are doing things no one else has done before, thinking things no one has thought before, creating things no one has created before, these are only possible due to the accomplishments of the past. Even if you have elite intellect and are creating new ideas in the world, Newton said it best, "If I have seen a little farther than others it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants."
Nothing comes to us except through others.
The great accomplishments of your life will require the compassionate interaction with other people. Coming to knowing your purpose will require the insight of others. Pursuing your purpose will require the cooperation of others. Fulfilling your purpose will require the contribution of others.
In this great process, we will need others and their abilities.
We cannot do it alone.
This need of others, exacerbated by the extensive interdependency of the society we have created, is the seed of all the power we will experience in our lives.
I will write more on this later, for this is the heart and soul of what I have to offer.
But for today we must focus on the first of the facts. Life is a series of choices.
You will live your life in increments. Whether you see these as steps, stages, phases, minutes moments or periods, each increment is created and finished by a choice you will make along the way.
The increments of a life lived are the choices of that life. Infinite in number as well as in effect, the choices we make are how we actually live.
Life is choice. The process of life is to make choices and then deal with the outcome by making more choices. Each choice being a step further. Not always a s step toward our goal. Often a step away from our goal. Not all choices are for our betterment. Some hurt badly. But even those choices that turn out to be detrimental or even painful, ultimately bring us closer to our purpose because life is not linear. It is more than our four dimensional existence. Growth comes in many directions. Each choice is a contribution to the net outcome.
The increment of life is choice.
When you combine our two truths - we live our lives through a series of choices and those choices are made in the presence of, and in conjunction with, others - we give birth to power.
Affecting choice is the purpose of power.
Power is the ability to use another's need to fulfill their purpose to cause them to make choices that benefit us. Power is using the increment of life to our benefit without regard to the benefit of the one making the choice.
The target of power is always choice. Power is about choice. Controling choice, influencing choice or seducing choice. Power is about impacting the choices others make. Power uses others choice to fulfil our purpose.
This is the relationship between power and choice.
But the important facts are these: you will live this purpose through a series of choices you will make and you are not alone in this process.
It is obvious. We fall out of another human being. We would not survive without the benevolence of parents and family. We seek love and acceptance just as we seek food and shelter. We are a social beast.
As we progress through the days we find that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. A society can accomplish so much more than an individual. A group of people working together is capable of more than one person working alone.
Moreover, we discover and eventually come to accept, that there is very little in our lives that does not come from other people. Whatever you have as possessions, almost all came from the work of others.
Your knowledge was a gift from parents and teachers as well as books and their authors.
Your food and your home were likely the work of others. And even if your grew your food and built your home someone else gave you the seed, built the tillers and rakes you use, piped the water to your home for your irrigation, cut down the trees for the lumber, fabricated the nails and shingles and created the electricity you used to build. Most of what we have and use came from others.
Even if we are creative and are doing things no one else has done before, thinking things no one has thought before, creating things no one has created before, these are only possible due to the accomplishments of the past. Even if you have elite intellect and are creating new ideas in the world, Newton said it best, "If I have seen a little farther than others it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants."
Nothing comes to us except through others.
The great accomplishments of your life will require the compassionate interaction with other people. Coming to knowing your purpose will require the insight of others. Pursuing your purpose will require the cooperation of others. Fulfilling your purpose will require the contribution of others.
In this great process, we will need others and their abilities.
We cannot do it alone.
This need of others, exacerbated by the extensive interdependency of the society we have created, is the seed of all the power we will experience in our lives.
I will write more on this later, for this is the heart and soul of what I have to offer.
But for today we must focus on the first of the facts. Life is a series of choices.
You will live your life in increments. Whether you see these as steps, stages, phases, minutes moments or periods, each increment is created and finished by a choice you will make along the way.
The increments of a life lived are the choices of that life. Infinite in number as well as in effect, the choices we make are how we actually live.
Life is choice. The process of life is to make choices and then deal with the outcome by making more choices. Each choice being a step further. Not always a s step toward our goal. Often a step away from our goal. Not all choices are for our betterment. Some hurt badly. But even those choices that turn out to be detrimental or even painful, ultimately bring us closer to our purpose because life is not linear. It is more than our four dimensional existence. Growth comes in many directions. Each choice is a contribution to the net outcome.
The increment of life is choice.
When you combine our two truths - we live our lives through a series of choices and those choices are made in the presence of, and in conjunction with, others - we give birth to power.
Affecting choice is the purpose of power.
Power is the ability to use another's need to fulfill their purpose to cause them to make choices that benefit us. Power is using the increment of life to our benefit without regard to the benefit of the one making the choice.
The target of power is always choice. Power is about choice. Controling choice, influencing choice or seducing choice. Power is about impacting the choices others make. Power uses others choice to fulfil our purpose.
This is the relationship between power and choice.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Anger
Anger is the clue.
When you feel angry it is because someone is using power on you.
Anger is the emotion of encroachment. It is the thing we feel when someone is trying to take away our choice.
It is not always that way. We are not naturally angry beasts. It is just another method we learn for using power.
As infants we learn anger.
A child who misbehaves eventually wears down the patience of even the most loving parent. And in pushing the parent too far, that parent will be angry. The parent feels encroached upon. The child is taking away their ability to be happy. That happiness may take the form of quiet calmness. It may be a television program that Dad wants to watch. It may be a book Mom is trying to read. It can be an interrupted phone call, nap or task. The parent wants to continue what they were doing. The parent needs to continue. Often they are doing something that must be done. It may be something they have always wanted to do. It may be a pastime they are attached to. But requirement, desire or attachment, the need of the parent is being hindered by the child. And as a result they are angry.
The child is using power. Their ability to hinder the parents' choice to continue with their desired activity is in itself power. And at some level the child knows this. They have come to expect, through the "cause and effect" habits of their life, that certain sounds or behaviors on their part, get the parents' attention and hence some required reaction from the parent. Control or influence or seduction, the child is using it. The parent, by responding to a crying child, a coughing child, a whining child, a silent child, a funny child, is teaching the child about power. Unconsciously. Not deliberately. Not directly. But if it isn't power, what is it?
The child now knows how to control and influence the parents behavior.
And in throwing a pillow or spilling a cup or making a funny noise, they use their ability to hinder mom or dad's ability to do what they want. Eventually this wears thin. Eventually Mom and Dad react in anger.
And with that fury, induced by a power dynamic, they will respond to the child's ill actions with an angry facial expression and harsh words. That sharp reaction and a shout represent an ability to hinder the child's need.
The first few times the child experiences this anger, they react with fear and tears. Why? Because of the most base of needs. In this harsh attack of the angry parent, is an implied threat. A threat to the child's wellbeing. Infants need to feel safe. They have the requirements, like every living thing, of survival and the avoidance of pain.
An angry look from our parents always means, "Stop it, or else."
Or else....
And it works. Almost instantaneously the child's behavior changes and mom and dad get their way. Their needs or desires get to be fulfilled and the child chooses to stop the bad behavior. The Choice of the child is controlled.
The ability of the parent to threaten the child, overcomes the child's ability to interfere with the parents desire.
The child experiences their first power struggle.
Prior to that time, they always win power Dynamics. Parents get out of bed in the middle of the night instead of continuing with their rest. The parent turns off the TV and picks up the child. The meal is interrupted and the child's needs are met. Up to this point the child has had the invariable ability to get the parent to succumb to their power.
Then one day it ends. It ends with a blast of anger.
But the child continues to learn.
They have now been taught how to use anger, and its implied threat, to get a reaction and influence behavior.
I remember standing in the cereal isle of the grocery store. Going through that weekly negotiation regarding the sugar and toy content of our imminent purchase. And in response to my arbitrary decision to buy on the basis of nutrition rather than taste, I was told by an angry three year old- "You buy these Fruit Loops and you better buy them right now!"
Just like an emperor of a kingdom. Like a master of power. Furrowed brow and all.
My how we learn to use power.
Anger tells us someone is using power over us. It then provides us with a possible ability to create power for ourselves.
Anger and power.
They're sisters of the same parent - need.
When you feel angry it is because someone is using power on you.
Anger is the emotion of encroachment. It is the thing we feel when someone is trying to take away our choice.
It is not always that way. We are not naturally angry beasts. It is just another method we learn for using power.
As infants we learn anger.
A child who misbehaves eventually wears down the patience of even the most loving parent. And in pushing the parent too far, that parent will be angry. The parent feels encroached upon. The child is taking away their ability to be happy. That happiness may take the form of quiet calmness. It may be a television program that Dad wants to watch. It may be a book Mom is trying to read. It can be an interrupted phone call, nap or task. The parent wants to continue what they were doing. The parent needs to continue. Often they are doing something that must be done. It may be something they have always wanted to do. It may be a pastime they are attached to. But requirement, desire or attachment, the need of the parent is being hindered by the child. And as a result they are angry.
The child is using power. Their ability to hinder the parents' choice to continue with their desired activity is in itself power. And at some level the child knows this. They have come to expect, through the "cause and effect" habits of their life, that certain sounds or behaviors on their part, get the parents' attention and hence some required reaction from the parent. Control or influence or seduction, the child is using it. The parent, by responding to a crying child, a coughing child, a whining child, a silent child, a funny child, is teaching the child about power. Unconsciously. Not deliberately. Not directly. But if it isn't power, what is it?
The child now knows how to control and influence the parents behavior.
And in throwing a pillow or spilling a cup or making a funny noise, they use their ability to hinder mom or dad's ability to do what they want. Eventually this wears thin. Eventually Mom and Dad react in anger.
And with that fury, induced by a power dynamic, they will respond to the child's ill actions with an angry facial expression and harsh words. That sharp reaction and a shout represent an ability to hinder the child's need.
The first few times the child experiences this anger, they react with fear and tears. Why? Because of the most base of needs. In this harsh attack of the angry parent, is an implied threat. A threat to the child's wellbeing. Infants need to feel safe. They have the requirements, like every living thing, of survival and the avoidance of pain.
An angry look from our parents always means, "Stop it, or else."
Or else....
And it works. Almost instantaneously the child's behavior changes and mom and dad get their way. Their needs or desires get to be fulfilled and the child chooses to stop the bad behavior. The Choice of the child is controlled.
The ability of the parent to threaten the child, overcomes the child's ability to interfere with the parents desire.
The child experiences their first power struggle.
Prior to that time, they always win power Dynamics. Parents get out of bed in the middle of the night instead of continuing with their rest. The parent turns off the TV and picks up the child. The meal is interrupted and the child's needs are met. Up to this point the child has had the invariable ability to get the parent to succumb to their power.
Then one day it ends. It ends with a blast of anger.
But the child continues to learn.
They have now been taught how to use anger, and its implied threat, to get a reaction and influence behavior.
I remember standing in the cereal isle of the grocery store. Going through that weekly negotiation regarding the sugar and toy content of our imminent purchase. And in response to my arbitrary decision to buy on the basis of nutrition rather than taste, I was told by an angry three year old- "You buy these Fruit Loops and you better buy them right now!"
Just like an emperor of a kingdom. Like a master of power. Furrowed brow and all.
My how we learn to use power.
Anger tells us someone is using power over us. It then provides us with a possible ability to create power for ourselves.
Anger and power.
They're sisters of the same parent - need.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
The Feelings of Power
Do you feel it?
Do you feel like your life is out of control?
Do you feel like your boss, your friends and even your family are always trying to get you do what they want?
Do you feel like others – politicians, corporate big shots, media personalities - are the ones who decide what happens in this world?
Do you feel like what you want doesn’t matter to anyone?
Do you feel those angry feelings of Control, Influence and Seduction?
Do you feel like you are being pushed, pulled and pointed in different directions?
This is Power.
Power is about Choice.
It is about others’ ability to Control, Influence and Seduce the Choices you make. The Choices you make everyday in and about your life. They get this ability to control your Choice from you. They get the ability to Control, Influence and Seduce you from the Source of Power.
The Source of the Power against you is within you.
The Source of their Power is your Need.
They use your Needs to manipulate your Choices.
This is Power.
If this is your life, and you want to do something about it,
On Having Power.
Do you feel like your life is out of control?
Do you feel like your boss, your friends and even your family are always trying to get you do what they want?
Do you feel like others – politicians, corporate big shots, media personalities - are the ones who decide what happens in this world?
Do you feel like what you want doesn’t matter to anyone?
Do you feel those angry feelings of Control, Influence and Seduction?
Do you feel like you are being pushed, pulled and pointed in different directions?
This is Power.
Power is about Choice.
It is about others’ ability to Control, Influence and Seduce the Choices you make. The Choices you make everyday in and about your life. They get this ability to control your Choice from you. They get the ability to Control, Influence and Seduce you from the Source of Power.
The Source of the Power against you is within you.
The Source of their Power is your Need.
They use your Needs to manipulate your Choices.
This is Power.
If this is your life, and you want to do something about it,
On Having Power.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Fast forward to the end
Well the whole idea of journalling the prcess of creating this course failed. Once I got into it I stopped doing the blog. The course itself was pretty consuming. Very enjoyable but largely consuming. I am pleased with the result. More later, I am headed to the final class.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
The Course Outline
Week after week the process of the course must build to an understanding. A meaningful understanding.
What is the point without practical abilities.
Reading the typical crap on power really pisses me off. It is defined and trapped within a strict empirical sociological paradigm. It cannot go outside those parameters because the parameters begin after the important stuff is begun and therefore is forgotten.
It has been said that although a great deal has been written on power - it is a considerable fascination - no one has described the secret of power.
In fact, in Robert Greene's book The 48 Laws of Power he admits in his introduction;
"These writings span a period of more than three thousand years and were created in civilizations as disparate as ancient China and Renaissance Italy; yet they share common threads and themes, together hinting at an essence of power that has yet to be fully articulated."
When I turn to the great thinkers the reading is much more enjoyable but I must say that the heart of the matter remains absent in any express form.
When you teach a college course they expect you to cover the typical. The usual. The same old same old.
But I only have about 12 weeks to really get at it. And I believe in my heart that what I have to say means a whole lot more than to read one more time about sociological definitions.
Where is the worth?
So I come back to the same Question. Do I teach On Having Power, or do I teach 'this is what others have said about power?'
But if I do it, what will happen. The course outline must be a lie if I am to get it approved. I must say that I will teach one thing and actually teach another.
The best part of the course will be the journey of the students toward an understanding - a personal understanding - of where power fits into their lives and how they are to deal with that.
And what is that without an ability? What is the use of understanding if it doesn't lead to action?
Should I teach them how to have power? Should I teach them how to battle power?
Do I really have any choice?
What is the point without practical abilities.
Reading the typical crap on power really pisses me off. It is defined and trapped within a strict empirical sociological paradigm. It cannot go outside those parameters because the parameters begin after the important stuff is begun and therefore is forgotten.
It has been said that although a great deal has been written on power - it is a considerable fascination - no one has described the secret of power.
In fact, in Robert Greene's book The 48 Laws of Power he admits in his introduction;
"These writings span a period of more than three thousand years and were created in civilizations as disparate as ancient China and Renaissance Italy; yet they share common threads and themes, together hinting at an essence of power that has yet to be fully articulated."
When I turn to the great thinkers the reading is much more enjoyable but I must say that the heart of the matter remains absent in any express form.
When you teach a college course they expect you to cover the typical. The usual. The same old same old.
But I only have about 12 weeks to really get at it. And I believe in my heart that what I have to say means a whole lot more than to read one more time about sociological definitions.
Where is the worth?
So I come back to the same Question. Do I teach On Having Power, or do I teach 'this is what others have said about power?'
But if I do it, what will happen. The course outline must be a lie if I am to get it approved. I must say that I will teach one thing and actually teach another.
The best part of the course will be the journey of the students toward an understanding - a personal understanding - of where power fits into their lives and how they are to deal with that.
And what is that without an ability? What is the use of understanding if it doesn't lead to action?
Should I teach them how to have power? Should I teach them how to battle power?
Do I really have any choice?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)